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Love?

Yerda

Veteran Member
Sometimes I doubt the existence of love as a separate phenomena from other social emotions that cause us to desire company.

We say we love our friends and family but for that special someone we hold feelings quite different. Is it just that we like to have sex with this one?

I'm beginning to think it's just a lazy way of telling people you enjoy something about them, say their body, their wit, intelligence etc etc.

What do you think?
 

Lightkeeper

Well-Known Member
To me real love involves a lack of selfishness. It is wanting another person to be truly happy no matter what. When you truly love someone you think other.
 

standing_on_one_foot

Well-Known Member
truthseekingsoul said:
Sometimes I doubt the existence of love as a separate phenomena from other social emotions that cause us to desire company.
Nothing wrong with that, though. Sort of the purest form of those emotions, I'd say. Makes you want to stick with other humans and help 'em survive. Good stuff. Does it have to be seperate to be special?
 

Yerda

Veteran Member
Lightkeeper said:
To me real love involves a lack of selfishness. It is wanting another person to be truly happy no matter what. When you truly love someone you think other.

Thanks for sharing.

I like making people happy, kind of a hobby. But 'no matter what' I doubt, there are things people do to each other I would never permit.
 

Yerda

Veteran Member
standing_on_one_foot said:
Nothing wrong with that, though. Sort of the purest form of those emotions, I'd say. Makes you want to stick with other humans and help 'em survive. Good stuff. Does it have to be seperate to be special?

No idea, thanks for your thoughts though.
 
truthseekingsoul said:
Sometimes I doubt the existence of love as a separate phenomena from other social emotions that cause us to desire company.
Okay...so they're all the same "family" of social phenomena....makes sense.

truthseekingsoul said:
We say we love our friends and family but for that special someone we hold feelings quite different. Is it just that we like to have sex with this one?
No, I definitely disagree with you there. You can be in love with someone even if you haven't had sex.

truthseekingsoul said:
I'm beginning to think it's just a lazy way of telling people you enjoy something about them, say their body, their wit, intelligence etc etc.
It's a lazy way of saying something, alright...but not that.

truthseekingsoul said:
What do you think?
I think that three months ago, I might have agreed with you entirely. :)
 

Yerda

Veteran Member
Mr_Spinkles said:
No, I definitely disagree with you there. You can be in love with someone even if you haven't had sex.

'In love' is different from other love I hear. I see sex as the difference. You don't appear to concur, care to elaborate?

Mr_Spinkles said:
It's a lazy way of saying something, alright...but not that.

What?

Mr_Spinkles said:
I think that three months ago, I might have agreed with you entirely. :)

And now?
 
Mr Spinkles said:
No, I definitely disagree with you there.
truthseekingsoul said:
'In love' is different from other love I hear. I see sex as the difference. You don't appear to concur, care to elaborate?
You appear to be correct--I do not appear to concur. :149: :) I think that a person can be in love with another person even if they haven't had sex. Love, as I've heard it explained, is not about two people staring at each other, but two people who stand next to each other looking off in the same direction. People who are in love can certainly have sex or go to the museum together--but I don't believe either is mandatory.

Then again, maybe I'm not clear on what you're saying. What's the difference between being in love and the 'other love' you hear? Which one is contingent upon sex?

Mr Spinkles said:
It's a lazy way of saying something, alright...but not that.
What I meant by this is that I agree with you that the word 'love' is a lazy way of saying something. However, I do not agree with you that it is a lazy way of "telling people you enjoy something about them, say their body, their wit, intelligence etc etc."

truthseekingsoul said:
See the above. ^
 
Love and sex can be related but are not necessarily. I love many people - and I don't have sex with them. As Mr. Spinkles points out - even romantic love can occur without sex - 4,000 Victorian novels back him up as well (Jane Eyre etc....). Love is an inprecise word at best. But at some point everything is imprecise......
 

michel

Administrator Emeritus
Staff member
Quote[Sometimes I doubt the existence of love as a separate phenomena from other social emotions that cause us to desire company.

We say we love our friends and family but for that special someone we hold feelings quite different. Is it just that we like to have sex with this one?

I'm beginning to think it's just a lazy way of telling people you enjoy something about them, say their body, their wit, intelligence etc etc.]
Truthseekingsoul; you have hit the nail on the head here (but without enough force)

:jiggy:
I love my new car
I love cheese
I love my wife, my sons and God.
It has allways struck me as ridiculous that the English language, which because of it's diverse roots, often has a ream of words that are similar in meaning(Which you won't find say in French, or Spanish), has left a gaping hole with Love.
The examples I gave above demonstrate exactly what you mean; (The car and the cheese can go in the same 'sub category'), but it is patently obvious that my feelings, expressed as 'Love' for my wife, children and God ought to have different words to define the emotion.

Long live Semantics!!!!!!!!!!!
:help:
 

Ceridwen018

Well-Known Member
Love is a trap, Soul--one that I hope to never get out of!

I agree that you can be truly in love with someone without sex. Sex adds to the relationship, but it doesn't make the relationship. Well, no...that's not quite what I mean...I think that sex is a means to express incredibly deep emotion, and love. Sex itself does not create that emotion--it merely helps to convey it. The emotion has to already be there before you have sex.

As far as the difference between love for family and friends and the love for that 'special someone' being sex...I admit that a difference between the love for my sister and my love for my best friend, vs. my love for that special someone is physical attraction, however, there is so much more to it than just that.
 

Yerda

Veteran Member
Mr_Spinkles said:
Then again, maybe I'm not clear on what you're saying. What's the difference between being in love and the 'other love' you hear? Which one is contingent upon sex?

My point was that there is no difference, although I made it clumsily. I think we feel the same emotion in varying degrees for all the people that we love. In this I would agree sex has nothing to do with love.

But if you add sexual attraction it becomes described as "being in love".

Although I've written the above statement as fact I'd like to add that I am hardly an expert on the subject and off course these are merely opinions.
 

cardero

Citizen Mod
Just an observation but there are certainly a lot of LOVE threads on RF this month. Anyone else notice that?
 

cardero

Citizen Mod
Though there are many kinds of LOVE, I think as long as your LOVE is sincere it can be applicable to almost anything.

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