When Do You Usually Use RF the Most?

TagliatelliMonster said:

While at work, when one or more of these conditions are met:

- I need to clear my head and think about something else for a moment (so-called "coders block")
- I'm working on databases and need to wait for sql scripts to finish
- I'm publishing and deploying code and need to wait for compiles, for uploads and scripts to finish.

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A computer programmer, a man after my own heart. I like computer geeks and since I have been looking for a man on dating sites, I have met and communicated extensively with several. I think I am attracted to that type of personality.

TagliatelliMonster said:

I'm usually not online on weekends. Then it's family and / or drum time.

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I am usually on RF more on weekends since I have no family or musical instruments.
I will be on here more on weekdays for the next month since I am home on a stay-cation and I need something to drown my sorrows.

Trailblazer said:

No, that's my line, but I am getting tired of my mission, and tired of God.

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I'm really sorry to hear this. I think it's understandable that you would feel so disconnected and fatigued given your circumstances. I hope that you can find some meaning in the struggle and maybe reconnect with positive spiritual feelings, and I also get it if these seem like impossible tasks at the moment.

I've read the entire post you wrote, @Trailblazer , but I only have one thing to comment on.

Trailblazer said:

Now I do not feel that way since I feel no obligation to a God that allows so much suffering.

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I consider all emotions, whether happiness, sadness or suffering to be a state of mind, not a state of being. As someone who suffers from bipolar I've been manic when my life was falling apart. Remember what the Baha'is teach about the light of God? The absence of God is darkness. Reading about Baha'u'llah's struggles and personal life he should have been a miserable and insufferable person. But because he kept the will of God alive, through the darkness that is void of him, that he was able to be a prophet and messenger from God.

Now, I am not saying that believing in God will automatically reverse all suffering and make everybody happier, but doesn't it appear to you that most religious and theists tend to be happier people in general than the secular and atheists? It's a generalization and stereotype that seems to be true for the most part. A positive worldview leads to less suffering, it seems. Whatever emotions you are currently feeling at the time, it will shift and change and feelings are just a way of your body telling you that you either like or dislike the thing you're currently doing.

I would contend that if there was no suffering, there would also be no joy either, as feelings always have a way of balancing out in the end. Mania leads to depression. Depression leads to mania. Realizing this and finding the equilibrium between the two is key to achieving success in life. Because of my medication I typically feel nothing at all, and it allows me to focus on other aspects of my life instead of being focused internally all the time.

No matter how much suffering you went through in your life, your state of mind is not your state of being. Remember that.

Alien826 said:

OK, I thought that might be the case.

It might be interesting to see how the members from different areas of the world come on line. For example we several Australian contributors.

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We are indeed an interesting bunch.

I tend to post most when on the train. That's 3-4 return trips per week with about an hour duration.
Indeed, I'm on my morning commute now.

Otherwise I sometimes have a burst of activity late at night (say 11.30pm to about 1.00am) since I'm more of a night owl than my wife, and the toddler is hopefully well and truly asleep by then.

Other postings are more sporadic or opportunistic. Waiting rooms, or arriving early for meetings, etc. Nice little time filler.

My basketball forum posting habits are similar, so at certain times I might post more or less here vs there.

Incidentally, I'm having trouble finding anyone to discuss 3/4 court trapping defences for junior girls as a changeup to our normal run-jump man press, so if anyone is a basketball geek, let me know...

Trailblazer said:

Another point to consider is that I can walk away from RF whenever I want to but they cannot even LIVE without their cell phone for two minutes. So which one of us has an addiction?

My cell phone is in my purse and I never even turn it on except for emergencies or verification codes. My corded land line is how I receive calls and voice mails.

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Well, I would never claim that I'm not addicted to the internet, but far as I can see it's an addiction it doesn't hurt anybody.

Well OK, there's that group of orphans that I could have rescued from that burning building if I hadn't been too busy arguing on my phone with someone about which season of The Simpsons was the best, but I figure the chances of something like that ever happening again are less than 50/50.

Quagmire said:

Well, I would never claim that I'm not addicted to the internet, but far as I can see it's an addiction it doesn't hurt anybody.

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and it might actually help the people you are posting to, in the case of RF.
That's how I like to think of it. In psychology this is called reframing.

Trailblazer said:

A computer programmer, a man after my own heart. I like computer geeks and since I have been looking for a man on dating sites, I have met and communicated extensively with several. I think I am attracted to that type of personality.

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<waves hand>

Debater Slayer said:

On weekdays, at what time do you usually browse RF the most? At what time do you typically post?

On weekends, does this change, or is it the same as on weekdays?

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I don't have any set times, as I'm always popping in here whenever I have a break from other stuff I do. And sometimes when I can't sleep and find myself awake between midnight and morning, I find this a pleasant and interesting place to hang out. I just can't stay away from this place.

Omigosh! Am I addicted to RF??

Alien826 said:

<waves hand>

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I would never wave you away, but we both know you don't like cats, and that is a deal-breaker....
All these computer geeks were also cat lovers, I wonder if there is a connection.

Daily as my life is still hurt. Same situation just less than before.

Trailblazer said:

I use Zoom for meetings with my therapist, and I have a weekly Zoom meeting with my best friend @Truthseeker.

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Do you have the same problems with your side of Zoom with your therapist as we've had the last two weeks?

Exaltist Ethan said:

I've read the entire post you wrote, @Trailblazer , but I only have one thing to comment on.

Trailblazer said: ↑
Also, since I am a Baha'i I had to feel like I was 'doing something' for the Faith by spreading the word, since I do not do anything else. Now I do not feel that way since I feel no obligation to a God that allows so much suffering.Now I do not feel that way since I feel no obligation to a God that allows so much suffering.

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Exaltist Ethan said:

I consider all emotions, whether happiness, sadness or suffering to be a state of mind, not a state of being. As someone who suffers from bipolar I've been manic when my life was falling apart.

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Of course it is state of mind, since it is what is in the mind that causes those emotions. Sometimes, but not always, those emotions are triggered by what is going on in one's life, although if a person is mentally ill, emotions might pop up spontaneously, for no apparent reason at all.

When I said that I feel no obligation to a God that allows so much suffering that is because I have been suffering and I am angry about it, which is causing this state of mind. It is not only the immediate suffering I am enduring now, it is the cumulative effect of all the suffering I have been enduring for so many years, and in spite of it I continued to do hat Baha'u'llah enjoined us to do. Now I am wondering why I don't deserve a life with some personal happiness for myself. After all, other Baha'is have lives with families, friends, and activities, they don't spend their entire lives on forums. If they did I think they would also be resentful.

Exaltist Ethan said:

Remember what the Baha'is teach about the light of God? The absence of God is darkness. Reading about Baha'u'llah's struggles and personal life he should have been a miserable and insufferable person. But because he kept the will of God alive, through the darkness that is void of him, that he was able to be a prophet and messenger from God.

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Baha'is believe that Baha'u'llah was a Prophet and Messenger of God because God chose Him to be one.
One has to realize that Baha'u'llah was a Messenger of God who chose to suffer for the sake of God, in order to complete His mission in the interest of all of humanity. Baha'is believe Messengers of God are another order of creation from ordinary humans since that have both a divine nature and a human nature. The rest of us only have a human nature so it is more difficult for us to endure suffering.

Also, since we don't receive direct communication from God we have the added burden of having to keep our faith, in the absence of proof. For example, I can say that "I know" there is an afterlife, I have no doubt, but I do not know anything about the afterlife. By contrast, Baha'u'llah knew exactly what the afterlife was going to be like, and that was soon to be His destination. That is why He longed for death.

Speaking to His accusers, Baha’u’llah wrote:
“I and My kindred are at your mercy. Do ye as ye please, and be not of them that hesitate, that I might return to God My Lord, and reach the place where I can no longer behold your faces. This, indeed, is My dearest wish, My most ardent desire. Of My state God is, verily, sufficiently informed, observant.” Gleanings, p. 228

Exaltist Ethan said:

Now, I am not saying that believing in God will automatically reverse all suffering and make everybody happier, but doesn't it appear to you that most religious and theists tend to be happier people in general than the secular and atheists? It's a generalization and stereotype that seems to be true for the most part. A positive worldview leads to less suffering, it seems. Whatever emotions you are currently feeling at the time, it will shift and change and feelings are just a way of your body telling you that you either like or dislike the thing you're currently doing.

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Religious people claim to be happier than atheists but atheists claim to be just as happy as the religious, so who is to say who is happier? However, it is true that belief in God gives us a cushion from suffering, something to fall back on.

Yes, I know that my feelings come and go with what is happening in my life. I am subject to mood swings, so I can swing one way or another at the drop of a hat. That is a good thing because it prevents me from going into a depression I cannot get out of. I also know what to do when I am starting to feel depressed or anxious, and that comes from years of experience.

Trailblazer said:

In the past, I used to get in a lot of debates with Christians on forums and I even lost a close friend who was a Christian, arguing over the return of Christ.

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You did? I seem to remember some woman with which you had cats in common, and when she found she couldn't convert you, she abruptly ended the friendship, but I thought that was in Emails. Is it someone else you are talking about? I have a bad memory, but my memory is selective.

Truthseeker said:

Do you have the same problems with your side of Zoom with your therapist as we've had the last two weeks?

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No, I have not had the same problem with my therapy appointments. I think it is a different software.

Truthseeker said:

You did? I seem to remember some woman with which you had cats in common, and when she found she couldn't convert you, she abruptly ended the friendship, but I thought that was in Emails. Is it someone else you are talking about? I have a bad memory, but my memory is selective.

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You must have a pretty good memory because I broke it off with her in 2012. Yes, that was in e-mails but she was not trying to convert me. I came to Delphi Forums complaining about her as I recall, and that was circa 2013. Her name was Donna and she had eight Persian cats, lived in San Francisco. I met her on a CRF support group. We talked about cats a lot and she had the same problem with grief when a cat died. We talked about things other than cats and since I basically agreed with her morals and values she assumed I was a Christian, but all hell finally broke loose when she found out I believed that Baha'u'llah was the return of Christ and then we parted ways.

I have been thinking about Donna lately because I am now in her position, a widow with eight cats to care for all by myself. Her husband was a physician and he died of cancer but she was not looking to remarry. Also, like me, she had no children, she only had one brother.

Trailblazer said:

suppose I would not need to be a Christian to visit a church once in a while, but I would feel really awkward as a Baha'i; eventually I'd be asked about my religion and I am not good at bending the truth.

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Sara joined the secular franciscans of the Catholic Church, they knew she was Baha'i, and for years they were friendly to her, but she just wanted to be friends with them, she knew they were terrified of looking at other religions, for fear of going to hell, or whatever. But after years the number of secular franciscans in that parish dwindled, and they merged with another parish, and the leader of that parish told her that she could no longer be with the secular franciscans because she was a threat to them.

She still has a few friends from that original parish, but she was hurt by this rejection.

But I don't think I would be good at going into a church and revealing I am a Baha'i either. I was asked a couple of times recently whether I had a good Christmas when I made my rounds walking, and I kept my mouth shut about being a Baha'i.

Trailblazer said:

You must have a pretty good memory because I broke it off with her in 2012. Yes, that was in e-mails but she was not trying to convert me. I came to Delphi Forums complaining about her as I recall, and that was circa 2013. Her name was Donna and she had eight Persian cats, lived in San Francisco. I met her on a CRF support group. We talked about cats a lot and she had the same problem with grief when a cat died. We talked about things other than cats and since I basically agreed with her morals and values she assumed I was a Christian, but all hell finally broke loose when she found out I believed that Baha'u'llah was the return of Christ and then we parted ways.

I have been thinking about Donna lately because I am now in her position, a widow with eight cats to care for all by myself. Her husband was a physician and he died of cancer but she was not looking to remarry. Also, like me, she had no children, she only had one brother.

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Oh, yeah, her name was Donna, I remember that name now. I had no idea that was in 2012, though. You've told me more than once when we first met in Planet Baha'i, but I remenber it as in January, but I don't remember the exact year. 2011 or 2012, somewhere in there. My how time flies!

Trailblazer said:

I would never wave you away, but we both know you don't like cats, and that is a deal-breaker....
All these computer geeks were also cat lovers, I wonder if there is a connection.

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Not true. I like cats well enough. In my first marriage we had cats (British Burmese) and even bred them. I now prefer dogs, but that's not to say I dislike cats, quite the contrary. In fact I don't "dislike" any non-human animals. Even mosquitos and the like are just behaving according to their nature, though that wouldn't stop me squishing one if it bit me.