It's starting to sound like a TISM song that I can't post.
Hey what's your Mums number?
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Dating
- Thread starter PoetPhilosopher
- Start date
It's starting to sound like a TISM song that I can't post.
Hey what's your Mums number?
Trailblazer
Veteran Member
There is nothing easy about it if you are looking for a LTR or marriage, but maybe it is easier if all you are looking for is casual sex.
Well, marriage is usually not on my agenda (currently, I am already married). But I am looking for LTRs. If a relationship gets to the place of having sex, it tends to last at least a year and be emotionally significant.
I've had one night stands (well, actually two nights), but they make me feel lonelier and unconnected. So it just isn't what I look for. I want an emotional connection.
It *is* easier in some ways to search when already in a relationship. It clarifies things.
No. I'll be 60 soon and I still want sex on a regular basis. I hope to still want it until the day I die. It is really one of the pleasures of life.
I have not been without an emotional relationship for longer than a year since I started dating. But then, I am open to whatever life throws at me. I am willing to explore possibilities and I feel that most people have *something* to offer.
The key to flirting is to focus on the other person: make *them* feel good and let them know you want them to feel good. Don't try to show off, but let them know it isn't all about you.
For mothers, it depends on the age of the children. I'm not interested in helping to parent a 2 year old. Adult children out of the house is a completely different story.
They are a filter, but not much more. But I have found anything below 90% is usually an automatic NO.
The Sum of Awe
Brought to you by the moment that spacetime began.
Can you be more specific at how to make people feel good? I mean you’re not flirting with your mom but you try to make her feel good
Can you be more specific at how to make people feel good? I mean you’re not flirting with your mom but you try to make her feel good
Well, ask them about themself. Be interested in the answer. Have more of your side of the conversation be about them and less about you.
The Sum of Awe
Brought to you by the moment that spacetime began.
Of course, but that isn’t what people call “flirting” is it? Flirting as I understood it usually refers to the humorous playful teasing and compliments in a clever way?
Don't force it. Just 'play' with them as feels right. otherwise, it comes across as too forced and unnatural.
At the beginning, when you are first meeting, you are exploring and trying to figure out if there is any compatibility. So, if you find something amusing, say so. Include them in the joke.
And if you can't laugh with them, they are probably not good for you.
Trailblazer
Veteran Member
One problem is that the dating site cannot know who you will be physically attracted to by having you answer a whole gamut of questions. Physical attraction is half the battle. If I don't like the photo of a man I don't even take time to read his profile. I wonder if it is that way for the man looking at my photo? I guess that all depends upon how visual people are. I am very visual but that doesn't mean I am going to consider a man just because he is handsome, and he doesn't even have to be handsome, but there has to be a physical attraction. It would be that way in real life so it is no different on a dating site.
But even if I was attracted to him physically, that would not be enough to embark upon a relationship. His values and lifestyle would have to be compatible with mine and he would have to have some interests in common with me, or at the very least our interests would not conflict with each other's. For example, he would not have to love cats but he would have to be amenable to living with them.
Anything he had for interests and hobbies would be okay with me, since I can always find things to do alone. But if he wanted me to do things with him that I don't want to do that could be a problem. I do not have a problem with sex if I am in love with a man, and in fact I was the one who wanted sex when I was first married and for a long time after that, because I liked sex and I was in love, but after we started having problems I didn't want sex anymore. I cannot say how I would feel about having sex now, since it has been so long, but that would have to be discussed before a marriage could take place.
Most men like to do a lot of outdoor recreational activities like hiking and biking, and I have no problem with that as I enjoy them too. Other things men like to do when they retire are traveling and I don't know if I want to travel, so that could be a problem. I would enjoy traveling if I did not have all the cats, but the cats are more important than sightseeing. Most men my age have children and grandchildren and that would not be a problem for me if he wanted to spend time with family, even though I have no family, but I would probably be more comfortable with a man who had no children since I have no children.
I'm not that fond of parenting a 2 year old at my age either. But she's mine and I love her to death, so...
(But yes, your point makes sense)
No idea, really. It's mostly a waste of time since it seems like everyone is only interested in mindless sex, being abusive and manipulative or scamming people out of money. If you find a good person who actually wants a committed relationship, let us know your secret.
Trailblazer
Veteran Member
They even do it to poor people like me, knowing I'm poor!You can say THAT again,
Trailblazer
Veteran Member
That's Unbelievable, and also stupid, since they cannot extort money from people who have no money.They even do it to poor people like me, knowing I'm poor!
Oh, these were people I knew in real life, ex's and such. I've bought phones for people, been screwed out of hundreds of dollars, etc. This one dude tried to trick me into giving him money the other month! My problem is I am too gullible.That's Unbelievable, and also stupid, since they cannot extort money from people who have no money.
PoetPhilosopher
Veteran Member
Yeah, I don't really buy a person anything before three dates. With the exception that I do like to sometimes pay for me and them when going on the dates.
There's another scam too though, that mostly faces women. I haven't experienced it myself, but it's where a guy offers the woman money, then proceeds to ask for personal information that can be used to access things like bank accounts, etc. In other words, those people, too, can be out to steal money.
The Sum of Awe
Brought to you by the moment that spacetime began.
There's nothing wrong with spending money on dates or girl/boyfriends, but perhaps you could set limited amounts you're willing to give and perhaps only buy them the item instead of giving them the money directly. Having your standards, and if they truly are worth your time they will respect those standards. IMunexperiencedO
Trailblazer
Veteran Member
My problem was that I was naive, assuming these con men were telling me the truth. I had never been on an online dating site so I did not know such people existed. I learned the hard way but at least I never have them any money so the joke as on them, not me. They wasted their time for nothing.
That's a good idea. I don't mind getting a gift but I'm not giving anyone my money anymore, nope. Lol. I mean, if they needed help and I knew they were trustworthy because I've needed help, too. But that's it and for friends. I'm going to try to stick to that because I am bad at being taken advantage of.