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I am mad

VoidCat

VoidCat

Pronouns: he/him/they/them
The Hammer said:
Unfortunately, as I see it. You are living under their "house" and therefore have to follow their rules and wishes.

I've had similar requirements will in an IOP program. As well as in the military (even in down time).

If you lived on your own no one would care. It's not really about your disability, so much as where you are. Other residents may not like the message on your shirt, and while that could be construed as "their" problem, it also makes it the Staff's problem too.
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I pay the group home. It is my house. Group homes are supposed to work for the residents not the other way around. I will be trying to get said rule changed
 
Nimos

Nimos

Well-Known Member
Sand Dancer said:
I am not a fan of that word, especially when children may see it, but then I wonder why we have cuss words anyway, and who decides what is a cuss and what isn't. It's pretty silly, and my view is irrational, but since you're in your own place, and the phrase is kind of funny, not like you're telling someone to **** off or something, I think you should get to wear it.
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Its just a word, sure it might not sound especially educated going around speaking like that, but in the end it might get the point across and people these days are offended by everything.

Besides that, people doesn't seem to have a huge problem with children watching movies where they shoot or beat each other to dead and having them play computer games with blood and brains flying all over the place and intentionally exploiting kids for gambling or teaching them poor morality. But using a curse word!!! Are you completely insane!!! that is crossing the line for sure, children shouldn't be expose to such filth!!.

And no im not against violence in games or movies or even that kids play these games, just as im not against the use of curse words or think that these should be censored. I think all this getting offended have gone way to far, kids ain't stupid.
 
JustGeorge

JustGeorge

Not As Much Fun As I Look
Staff member
Premium Member
InChrist said:
Thanks for your opinion. You are free to have it and are certainly in agreement with the majority of society now. I think the word, as well as other obscenities are crude and offensive however and whenever used. But it really doesn’t make a difference what I think because such obscene language is prolific everyday, everywhere now.
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I'm not bothered by the word, but there are other things that bother me that I'm the minority on.

Sometimes it stinks to be the odd man out.
 
The Hammer

The Hammer

[REDACTED]
Premium Member
RayofLight said:
I pay the group home. It is my house. Group homes are supposed to work for the residents not the other way around. I will be trying to get said rule changed
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Not how it works unfortunately. You may pay to be there. But you are under their care and supervision, as much as you dislike the analogy like parents or mentors, it's their job to make sure your safe mentally, (and physically) and so are the other residents. It's not just about you.
 
Bathos Logos

Bathos Logos

Active Member
RayofLight said:
So I live in a group home for disabled folk as you all know. My dad got me a shirt. It say I'm a Ray of ****ing Sunshine on it. Problem is higher ups do not want me to wear it. Said I am not allowed to. This pissed me off. I am not working here. I am a resident. I am not about to go to work anywhere. Im wearing it on my downtime. Nondisabled folk on their downtime get to wear whatever language they like on their shirts. Just cuz I am disabled and live in a group home doesn't mean i shouldn't wear whatever language I like on my shirt when relaxing on my downtime. To me it is terribly infantalizing and offensive they want me to change my shirt. I am not a child. I should not be treated like one. It may seem like I'm making a big deal out of nothing. But stuff like this happens all the time in my life where just cuz I'm disabled im treated like a child. I've heard countless times people using a baby voice on me. I've even had folk pat me on the head(not at the group home tho some the staff have used the baby voice). I've been told by folk I shouldnt cuss when they never say that to nondisabled folk and sometimes cuss themselves. I've had folk implied not at the group home but outside of it that I am somehow unable to consent to sex just cuz I'm disabled. For once dont infantalise me. Just let me wear a whatever shirt i want on my down time. Like every adult that isnt disabled. I am not hurting anyone. I told them I won't be taking the shirt off unless they plan on kicking me out for it and they said theyll have me talk to the supervisor on the 5th.
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That does sound like a bunch of crap. Very especially them telling you "you shouldn't cuss" when you have actively overheard them doing the same. I'd probably tell them that I'd promise not to wear the shirt if one of them literally shoved it up their you-know-what's. "It's easy!" I'd say, "This is literally all you have to do and I swear I will never wear the shirt again!"
 
VoidCat

VoidCat

Pronouns: he/him/they/them
The Hammer said:
Not how it works unfortunately. You may pay to be there. But you are under their care and supervision, as much as you dislike the analogy like parents or mentors, it's their job to make sure your safe mentally, (and physically) and so are the other residents. It's not just about you.
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Then they should've told us there was a dress code. They didnt have one. Or they didnt say that they did. And it's not on their website. And the residents can get rules changed if they talk to higher up about it. It has happened before. The rules as i said are to serve the residents not the otherway around
 
Bathos Logos

Bathos Logos

Active Member
The Hammer said:
Not how it works unfortunately. You may pay to be there. But you are under their care and supervision, as much as you dislike the analogy like parents or mentors, it's their job to make sure your safe mentally, (and physically) and so are the other residents. It's not just about you.
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And the staff cussing and yet admonishing cussing? How'd you like that bit? This is more about people being idiots, surely, than it is about anyone truly trying to protect anyone else.
 
InChrist

InChrist

Free4ever
JustGeorge said:
I'm not bothered by the word, but there are other things that bother me that I'm the minority on.

Sometimes it stinks to be the odd man out.
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I understand. I try for the most part not to let things bother me, but there are still things I think are wrong, unnecessary, or offensive not just to me, but likely others as well.
 
VoidCat

VoidCat

Pronouns: he/him/they/them
Guys I may be a little too pissed off to actually listen to any opposing views. Imma calm down before I break any rules. Like debating in a nondebating area or insulting someone. Im not even mad about the shirt. I'll gladly change a shirt. Im mad im being treated yet again like a child
 
Debater Slayer

Debater Slayer

Vipassana
Staff member
Premium Member
InChrist said:
I understand. I try for the most part not to let things bother me, but there are still things I think are wrong, unnecessary, or offensive not just to me, but likely others as well.
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Many people feel that way about some common beliefs among conservative Christians. Should that be grounds for asking them not to voice their opinions at all?

I don't think so, and I see no reason not to apply the same logic to the OP's case. They're an adult among other adults, although I personally wouldn't wear such a shirt in a large gathering unless I knew it would be okay with everyone--just out of respect for the general atmosphere and other people.
 
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VoidCat

VoidCat

Pronouns: he/him/they/them
Bathos Logos said:
And the staff cussing and yet admonishing cussing? How'd you like that bit? This is more about people being idiots, surely, than it is about anyone truly trying to protect anyone else.
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This does happen in the group home often. It irks me.
 
Sand Dancer

Sand Dancer

Crazy Cat Lady
Nimos said:
Its just a word, sure it might not sound especially educated going around speaking like that, but in the end it might get the point across and people these days are offended by everything.

Besides that, people doesn't seem to have a huge problem with children watching movies where they shoot or beat each other to dead and having them play computer games with blood and brains flying all over the place and intentionally exploiting kids for gambling or teaching them poor morality. But using a curse word!!! Are you completely insane!!! that is crossing the line for sure, children shouldn't be expose to such filth!!.

And no im not against violence in games or movies or even that kids play these games, just as im not against the use of curse words or think that these should be censored. I think all this getting offended have gone way to far, kids ain't stupid.
Click to expand...

That always flabbergasts me when parents bring their little kids to PG-13 and R rated movies. What the heck are they thinking?
 
VoidCat

VoidCat

Pronouns: he/him/they/them
Mods. Can we move this to general debates? I feel it better goes there. I wont try to debate much tho it doesn't seem that useful at the moment at least not until I calm down
 
Fool

Fool

ALL in all
Premium Member
RayofLight said:
So I live in a group home for disabled folk as you all know. My dad got me a shirt. It say I'm a Ray of ****ing Sunshine on it. Problem is higher ups do not want me to wear it. Said I am not allowed to. This pissed me off. I am not working here. I am a resident. I am not about to go to work anywhere. Im wearing it on my downtime. Nondisabled folk on their downtime get to wear whatever language they like on their shirts. Just cuz I am disabled and live in a group home doesn't mean i shouldn't wear whatever language I like on my shirt when relaxing on my downtime. To me it is terribly infantalizing and offensive they want me to change my shirt. I am not a child. I should not be treated like one. It may seem like I'm making a big deal out of nothing. But stuff like this happens all the time in my life where just cuz I'm disabled im treated like a child. I've heard countless times people using a baby voice on me. I've even had folk pat me on the head(not at the group home tho some the staff have used the baby voice). I've been told by folk I shouldnt cuss when they never say that to nondisabled folk and sometimes cuss themselves. I've had folk implied not at the group home but outside of it that I am somehow unable to consent to sex just cuz I'm disabled. For once dont infantalise me. Just let me wear a whatever shirt i want on my down time. Like every adult that isnt disabled. I am not hurting anyone. I told them I won't be taking the shirt off unless they plan on kicking me out for it and they said theyll have me talk to the supervisor on the 5th.
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call the aclu.
 
VoidCat

VoidCat

Pronouns: he/him/they/them
Fool said:
call the aclu.
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Nah. Im not that mad. I'm just mad. And I've calmed a bit to realize may be I'm making too big of a deal. I'll still talk to higher up about it. I dont agree with the rule and want it changed. But im starting to see their reasoning
 
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