To become irreligious: a paradigm shift.

Xavier Graham SA said:

Well I’d like to think I’m just trying to hit a reset button. I’m open to Yahweh being real. But I’m also open to Him not being real. I’ll have to study Jewish interpretations, as well as continue studying religion elsewhere, in my search for God.

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Yahweh is real. Doesn't make it a Deity worthy of worship.

Xavier Graham SA said:

I was saddened that I was no longer having that perceived intimate connection with God. I just did a simple breathing meditation in its place.

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Is there any God to have connection with? "Perceived intimate" - ?
Yeah, breath control (if one is not allergic to it, there are some people who are allergic to it), can help to calm the mind.

Xavier Graham SA said:

If God and Jesus are real, I’m confident they’ll bring me back into the fold. I have served them with my whole heart for many years. Perhaps I am just stubbornly throwing them out. I’d like to think my belief in God is actually maturing, and I’m moving past Jesus with it.

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We don't move past Jesus to arrive at a better or more advanced place. Jesus is it, the way, the truth, the life.
The one chosen to be it all for us.

Aupmanyav said:

Is there any God to have connection with? "Perceived intimate" - ?

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When I would meditate towards my conception of God, I would think I felt His presence. But that could just be the creative mind at work. I do now question if there is any God to have a connection with.
It was a close relationship for me, that God would make Himself present before me as I meditated. Hence “perceived intimate”

Xavier Graham SA said:

I do now question if there is any God to have a connection with.

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Yeah, I too questioned; and not being able to get any evidence, I abandoned theism.

Xavier Graham said:

...
I got up and realized what I had to do in lieu of praying. I had to craft a plan. I had to proceed with caution. I had to think for myself! .

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Thinking and directing yourself - becoming your own authority figure - welcome to the second half of life. Midlife awakening

I know the unconditional loving being is real. But I also know we humans were sent out of its body. Not a loving act.

Reason it could not control what it had caused...

Change.

I know my first father's heavenly recorded memories are better than any man living to day. Same as my mother.

And I grieve the loss of their consciousness from our lives. And our human health non aging.

So I prayed earths living light natural void womb gas burning would heal it's body and save us. As I knew no God was ...and so do a lot of humans observations own that same realisation.

So I live to my own best ability waiting for family to wake up to the human realisation and do the same.

Xavier Graham said:

Maybe, I have benefited from the Gita deeply in the past. But I don’t think I could believe in Krishna or any other God as literally as I did Christ. So I think that’s why I’m leaning towards deism.

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It was good enough for the founders of the US. IMO, Deism is a decent system.

I wouldn't say it's luck; I would say it's probability.

Probability can be approximated through formal methods of calculation. Luck, as a concept, is a lot more anxiety-inducing, because you can't make a good guess about how lucky you're going to be.

Of course, there are no guarantees with probability, but it also doesn't leave one in the dark like "luck" and "random chance" do. The idea that atheism falls down to random chance is a theistic notion, not a secular one. The universe, by all appearances, does seem to follow its own physical laws, and induction tells us that things generally continue to behave in the same way. So it isn't as random or hopeless as it seems.

There are even known ways to improve your odds of achieving one consequence or another.

Xavier Graham said:

When I would meditate towards my conception of God, I would think I felt His presence. But that could just be the creative mind at work. I do now question if there is any God to have a connection with.
It was a close relationship for me, that God would make Himself present before me as I meditated. Hence “perceived intimate”

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I don't see your situation to be anything but the 'human condition' we all live with. I've question my beliefs for probably 70 yrs. I don't think what we believe in to be entirely a decision of mind or choice. Some of our decisions about religion are instinctual. Some are based on experience and some result from communicating with ours and reading. It's not a race. I've always found taking your time while get you there faster than rushing.

This is just my opinion.

In paradigm you mean model? You need to create your own model or adapt to another. With God, theism and deism, you have to subscribe to the model of another or create your own. Create your own God, as it were. You mentioned luck. There have been many gods of luck. You mentioned another specific god, Jesus Christ, who also operates within a specific paradigm set in place. If you are uninformed or deviate from that then your chosen paradigm becomes your own, not that of God or Jesus or luck.

Religion tends to be syncretistic upon popular demand. So determining what the paradigm is can be problematic. Spirituality is a personal responsibility. So, ultimately it's up to you, but if you aren't in line with the paradigm in the case of specific gods then you might as well ask the cat. I don't think anyone ever got anything from just praying to some random, vague concept of a specific God. Even if they did attach a specific name on the concept. Jesus, for example, said that those seeking him would find eternal life. (John 17:3) But it isn't so much a test as it is an earnest seeking. I don't belong to any organized religion and I wouldn't advise anyone else to do that, but that's just me. I don't buy into the idea that anyone can convert another, but there are clear markers set in place within the specific paradigm you are referring to.

One person might believe in "God" and if so may have come to the conclusion that the reason we all die is that it is God's will. So, praying, for example, that we don't die is contrary to God's will. It would be like me requesting the local jazz station play Twisted Sister's Christmas album. The Trinity may have come from somewhere other than God. Plato, for example. In a way, that; namely that God doesn't answer prayers not in line with his will is more of a deist concept than a theist one, traditionally speaking. And the majority of people who claim to be theists would strongly disagree with me on that point. Maybe they think God cares that they pass an exam or other trivial pursuit. It's up to you to seek the evidence.

Maybe you don't accept God, either as a vague concept, a sort of cosmic wishing well, or any of the more specific Gods available. You might want to explore that as well.

I could never shake a belief in God, no matter how hard I tried. The way I viewed God changed, but my belief in God didn't. Jesus as savior? Well, I liked his way, so i decided to stick to it as I understand it. People, the world, society? We're here, born, raised, then upon reaching adulthood, we create families, go to work, retire, grow older and eventually find a place of rest. The after life? Who knows, but I won't discount it. It's no less valid than a seed becoming a tree, or plant, or bush, or flower. There's lots we don't know, but it's in the don't yet knows that we find both turmoil and comfort. Making peace with something is relieving, as well as comforting. Sometimes it just feels good to say: "I don't know."

I try to live the best i'm able, and in a way that makes sense to me. Does my way make sense to everyone? Of course not, but then I'm not living their life. I'm living my own.

Balthazzar said:

I could never shake a belief in God, no matter how hard I tried. The way I viewed God changed, but my belief in God didn't.

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The same thing has happened to me. I could never shake a belief in God no matter how hard I tried. However, the way I view God is constantly changing. There are some basic things I believe about God that never change but there are other things that I call into question.

Balthazzar said:

I try to live the best i'm able, and in a way that makes sense to me. Does my way make sense to everyone? Of course not, but then I'm not living their life. I'm living my own.

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Well stated. I try to do the same.

Balthazzar said:

I could never shake a belief in God, no matter how hard I tried. The way I viewed God changed, but my belief in God didn't. Jesus as savior? Well, I liked his way, so i decided to stick to it as I understand it. People, the world, society? We're here, born, raised, then upon reaching adulthood, we create families, go to work, retire, grow older and eventually find a place of rest. The after life? Who knows, but I won't discount it. It's no less valid than a seed becoming a tree, or plant, or bush, or flower. There's lots we don't know, but it's in the don't yet knows that we find both turmoil and comfort. Making peace with something is relieving, as well as comforting. Sometimes it just feels good to say: "I don't know."

I try to live the best i'm able, and in a way that makes sense to me. Does my way make sense to everyone? Of course not, but then I'm not living their life. I'm living my own.

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Trailblazer said:

The same thing has happened to me. I could never shake a belief in God no matter how hard I tried. However, the way I view God is constantly changing. There are some basic things I believe about God that never change but there are other things that I call into question.

Well stated. I try to do the same.

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Both of your stories are similar to mine. I couldn't shake my belief in God either, no matter how hard I tried.

Sgt. Pepper said:

Both of your stories are similar to mine. I couldn't shake my belief in God either, no matter how hard I tried.

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So do you still believe in God, albeit not the Christian version of God?

Trailblazer said:

So do you still believe in God, albeit not the Christian version of God?

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The "Christian version of God" is probably different for most people and nobody's ideas of God or the Christian version of God actually match up with the real God.