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Love and Lust

The Crimson Universe

Active Member
Do we really need to have s*x with our spouses in order to keep our relationship alive?

Can couples stay in love forever without having s*x?

If not, then why is copulation so important in a relationship?

What if we (humans) were born without reproductive organs and without any s*x drive ... and instead reproduced asexually like the amoebas, by splitting into two. Wouldn't we still love each other then?

In my opinion, true love (between spouses) should be without any kind of sexual intimacy.
Love is a beautiful thing while lust is nothing but hunger of the body. When such a hunger is satiated we usually move on and look for another partner. That is not love, if you ask me.

What are your thoughts?
 

ChristineM

"Be strong", I whispered to my coffee.
Premium Member
Do we really need to have s*x with our spouses in order to keep our relationship alive?

Its not compulsory but it does help, sex between consenting partners is a very friendly way if passing some time, it allows one to read and understand emotions of your partner, it increases emotional commitment and its nice


Can couples stay in love forever without having s*x?

Yes i believe so but it take commitment

If not, then why is copulation so important in a relationship?

Not relevant

What if we (humans) were born without reproductive organs and without any s*x drive ... and instead reproduced asexually like the amoebas, by splitting into two. Wouldn't we still love each other then?

Life would be quite boring and i am not sure amoebas are capable of emotion. Had we evolved in such a way its likely that love would be nonexistent between humans


In my opinion, true love (between spouses) should be without any kind of sexual intimacy.

And you are welcome to that opinion

Love is a beautiful thing while lust is nothing but hunger of the body. When such a hunger is satiated we usually move on and look for another partner. That is not love, if you ask me.

Sex although lustful, between loving partners is not lust but an aspect of their love
 

metis

aged ecumenical anthropologist
Do we really need to have s*x with our spouses in order to keep our relationship alive?
Hopefully not.

My wife and I are in our 70's and we both have type 2 diabetes, so sex is only a memory for us. However, this has not changed our love for each other for over 54 years one iota.
 

Unveiled Artist

Veteran Member
Do we really need to have s*x with our spouses in order to keep our relationship alive?

Can couples stay in love forever without having s*x?

If not, then why is copulation so important in a relationship?

What if we (humans) were born without reproductive organs and without any s*x drive ... and instead reproduced asexually like the amoebas, by splitting into two. Wouldn't we still love each other then?

In my opinion, true love (between spouses) should be without any kind of sexual intimacy.
Love is a beautiful thing while lust is nothing but hunger of the body. When such a hunger is satiated we usually move on and look for another partner. That is not love, if you ask me.

What are your thoughts?

My question is what's wrong with sex?

Couples can have the same type of relationship as those without sex. It's like saying "I love you but I won't touch you..." type of thing. Also, I wouldn't mix love and lust. It's one thing if a person doesn't have a sexual drive but to those who do and value physical touch with their partners and have fun with their partners/those they love I don't see an issue.

Why is physical intimacy whether lust or love a problem?

What's inherently wrong about it? Does it hurt people? Are they hurting themselves? What's the dileo?
 
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Watchmen

Well-Known Member
Premium Member
Do we really need to have s*x with our spouses in order to keep our relationship alive?

Can couples stay in love forever without having s*x?

If not, then why is copulation so important in a relationship?

What if we (humans) were born without reproductive organs and without any s*x drive ... and instead reproduced asexually like the amoebas, by splitting into two. Wouldn't we still love each other then?

In my opinion, true love (between spouses) should be without any kind of sexual intimacy.
Love is a beautiful thing while lust is nothing but hunger of the body. When such a hunger is satiated we usually move on and look for another partner. That is not love, if you ask me.

What are your thoughts?
I think your premise is flawed as you equate all sexual intimacy with lust.
 

9-10ths_Penguin

1/10 Subway Stalinist
Premium Member
Do we really need to have s*x with our spouses in order to keep our relationship alive?

Can couples stay in love forever without having s*x?

If not, then why is copulation so important in a relationship?

What if we (humans) were born without reproductive organs and without any s*x drive ... and instead reproduced asexually like the amoebas, by splitting into two. Wouldn't we still love each other then?

In my opinion, true love (between spouses) should be without any kind of sexual intimacy.
Love is a beautiful thing while lust is nothing but hunger of the body. When such a hunger is satiated we usually move on and look for another partner. That is not love, if you ask me.

What are your thoughts?
If you want a sexless marriage for yourself, then I wish you a long and happy one with someone who's like-minded.

I'm not sure why the sex - or lack thereof - in anyone else's marriage is any of your concern.
 

Estro Felino

Believer in free will
Premium Member
John Keats used to say that Beauty is Truth.
If sentiments are beautiful, if there is real love and the partner is seen as an end and not as a means, then love is pure, and sex is clean.
Because clean is the sentiment.

What I mean by romance
Romance
 

JustGeorge

Not As Much Fun As I Look
Staff member
Premium Member
I think people are all different, and require different things. For some, sex is can be the language in which they love; not all express this verbally(and I feel most couples need love expressed in some form). Best not to worry about what works/doesn't work for others. If one couple needs sex in their relationship, it isn't for anyone else to say how those two feel about one another.

Personally, I love my husband and if I withhold sex, he will explode. He will become so full of energy, he will combust, and then I'll have a huge mess to clean up. Besides, what fun is a exploded husband? I married him when he was 24. Not much has changed...
 

A Vestigial Mote

Well-Known Member
Do we really need to have s*x with our spouses in order to keep our relationship alive?
I suppose not, no - but it will necessarily be to the mental/psychological detriment of one (or both) of the partners who does still have a sex drive, or instincts influencing their thoughts and desires.

Can couples stay in love forever without having s*x?
Probably, yes.

If not, then why is copulation so important in a relationship?
Because there are biological drives that can't be helped. There they are, and they are requesting satisfaction, regardless how much you "wish them away." If someone loves another, and understands these types of drivers, then why wouldn't they want to accommodate if they are able? It would be much like a female having an extremely high drive to become a mother, and desiring this without being able to control it. If the male partner she is with is completely against the idea of having children, do you, as a discerning member of humanity, chastise her desires to mother a child if she decides that the feelings she is having are too important and that she can't stay in the relationship where she is unable to satisfy these feelings she has? If your answer is "yes" - that you would look down on her or judge her harshly for leaving a relationship where her partner is unwilling to help her satisfy this urge that her body/mind is telling her is of the utmost importance, then so be it. But if you wouldn't, then I would implore you to look at the drives behind sex, compare them to the drives for wanting children, and answer the question "what is so different about these drives?" They are both items related to the body/mind's innate drive toward reproduction, and they are both things that can't be helped by the person experiencing them.

What if we (humans) were born without reproductive organs and without any s*x drive ... and instead reproduced asexually like the amoebas, by splitting into two.
In the end, this doesn't describe the sexuality of human beings. Let's stick with reality here. It doesn't matter what we would do if we were asexual. We aren't. If we were, then things likely would be very different, yes. But facts are what they are, and that is the reality that must be dealt with. Not "if you were asexual, you wouldn't even want to touch my body - so don't touch my body." A statement like that one is to be heard out of a completely irrational mouth.

In my opinion, true love (between spouses) should be without any kind of sexual intimacy.
Should be? Is there an "ought" here that makes any sense? Again, if someone loves you, and can help you satisfy various urges (that can culminate in being or remaining quite uncomfortable for some people I might add), why wouldn't they want to do so? If people's intrinsic desires/wants/urges do not matter, then why does anyone feel the need to apologize to their spouse if they find out they are unable to have children? For that matter, why worry about providing sustenance in the form of food, shelter or clean water for your spouse? Shouldn't they just provide for themselves? Why do you care about the intrinsic feelings that drive them to what they want or need?

Love is a beautiful thing while lust is nothing but hunger of the body.
It is sad to me that you think this way. Sex is one of the few grandly enjoyable experiences of this world - or, I should say, it can be. If it is not, then you are probably with the wrong person, or you are the wrong person - such that things are uncomfortable, or you are made to feel uncomfortable, or you make the other person feel uncomfortable. It doesn't have to be that way, and can be mutually enjoyable to a very high degree.

When such a hunger is satiated we usually move on and look for another partner
What is this? "When the hunger is satiated" then a person moves on? How strange. Usually I have heard tell that it is when certain wants aren't being met that there is a person seen "moving on." If things are copasetic or better, what reason has anyone to "move on?"

That is not love, if you ask me.
You can tell me all about it when I actually do ask you.
 

Estro Felino

Believer in free will
Premium Member
I think people are all different, and require different things. For some, sex is can be the language in which they love; not all express this verbally(and I feel most couples need love expressed in some form). Best not to worry about what works/doesn't work for others. If one couple needs sex in their relationship, it isn't for anyone else to say how those two feel about one another.

Personally, I love my husband and if I withhold sex, he will explode. He will become so full of energy, he will combust, and then I'll have a huge mess to clean up. Besides, what fun is a exploded husband? I married him when he was 24. Not much has changed...

In Italy there was a trial some years ago, where a husband decided not to sleep with his demanding wife . Any more.
She sued him. The judge decided to concede her the divorce and condemned him to pay her a monthly check.

Because legislation about marriage here establishes duties of sexual nature between spouses. Unless they decide abstinence and chastity together.
They can sign a prenup before marriage where it is stated that in their marriage, there are no duties of sexual nature.
 

Nakosis

Non-Binary Physicalist
Premium Member
Do we really need to have s*x with our spouses in order to keep our relationship alive?

Can couples stay in love forever without having s*x?

If not, then why is copulation so important in a relationship?

What if we (humans) were born without reproductive organs and without any s*x drive ... and instead reproduced asexually like the amoebas, by splitting into two. Wouldn't we still love each other then?

In my opinion, true love (between spouses) should be without any kind of sexual intimacy.
Love is a beautiful thing while lust is nothing but hunger of the body. When such a hunger is satiated we usually move on and look for another partner. That is not love, if you ask me.

What are your thoughts?

Sex is for survival of the species. Love is for the survival of the relationship.
 

sun rise

The world is on fire
Premium Member
Can couples stay in love forever without having s*x?

Yes. I was told by someone when I was first married that every time we had sex in the first year, a pebble can be added to the jar. After the first year, remove the pebble. The jar will never be empty. I found that true for us. For us, that was true.

So the answer to 'can' is yes. The answer for others when it comes to 'should' can be quite different depending on the people involved.
 

Wildswanderer

Veteran Member
Do we really need to have s*x with our spouses in order to keep our relationship alive?

Can couples stay in love forever without having s*x?

If not, then why is copulation so important in a relationship?

What if we (humans) were born without reproductive organs and without any s*x drive ... and instead reproduced asexually like the amoebas, by splitting into two. Wouldn't we still love each other then?

In my opinion, true love (between spouses) should be without any kind of sexual intimacy.
Love is a beautiful thing while lust is nothing but hunger of the body. When such a hunger is satiated we usually move on and look for another partner. That is not love, if you ask me.

What are your thoughts?
Well yeah, if that is all sex is to you, I can see why you feel that way. But love plus desire for your spouse is not just a physical act. It's a higher form of intimacy. The problem with the world in general is that we do reduce it to just an act, and then it loses its meaning, and people become nothing but their bodies.
Ideally we love our spouses for all they are, even the good bad and ugly.
 

Dan From Smithville

What's up Doc?
Staff member
Premium Member
Do we really need to have s*x with our spouses in order to keep our relationship alive?

Can couples stay in love forever without having s*x?

If not, then why is copulation so important in a relationship?

What if we (humans) were born without reproductive organs and without any s*x drive ... and instead reproduced asexually like the amoebas, by splitting into two. Wouldn't we still love each other then?

In my opinion, true love (between spouses) should be without any kind of sexual intimacy.
Love is a beautiful thing while lust is nothing but hunger of the body. When such a hunger is satiated we usually move on and look for another partner. That is not love, if you ask me.

What are your thoughts?
I think love should be of the mind--intellect and emotion--but sex between two people in love is not lust and adds to, rather than detracts from the love. Love can be viewed as a form of communication between two people. A means to express and show love.

I suppose you can have a deeply loving relationship without it and I have wondered about that myself. But I do not think you can claim that a loving relationship without it is superior to a loving relationship that includes sex. The bonding can be the same.
 
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