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The loss of a loved one. How do you cope or help others cope?

Spiderman

Veteran Member
I was good friends with a woman whose son committed suicide. She simply could not be consoled.

Her religion wasn't helping her either, because she is worried that suicides go to hell.

I don't see anything that hurts people more than losing loved ones. Then worrying about them going to hell only multiplies the agony.

Have you ever been able to console someone who has lost a loved one? I did recently, with a resident who lost his mother.

(Everyone is going to die. It would be nice if there were a way to prove what happens after death to the soul.

I'm convinced spirits exist, as anyone at RF knows, but am not sure what is from the spirit world and what is delusional at times.)

How do you go about helping someone grieving the loss of a loved one?

How do you cope with such a loss?
 

Spirit of Light

Be who ever you want
I was good friends with a woman whose son committed suicide. She simply could not be consoled.

Her religion wasn't helping her either, because she is worried that suicides go to hell.

I don't see anything that hurts people more than losing loved ones. Then worrying about them going to hell only multiplies the agony.

Have you ever been able to console someone who has lost a loved one? I did recently, with a resident who lost his mother.

(Everyone is going to die. It would be nice if there were a way to prove what happens after death to the soul.

I'm convinced spirits exist, as anyone at RF knows, but am not sure what is from the spirit world and what is delusional at times.)

How do you go about helping someone grieving the loss of a loved one?

How do you cope with such a loss?
For me, it is more about being there with them so they do not feel alone and abandon in their sorrow. And listen to them when they speak of the one they have lost, so it is not me who try to heal them or tell them "everything going to be fine"

When it comes to losing someone, as I said before, I lost both my parents, and the way I personally coped with it was becoming silent for a long time, going within and thinking a lot. And I did not have many people around me who spoke with me at that time.
 

Nakosis

Non-Binary Physicalist
Premium Member
I was good friends with a woman whose son committed suicide. She simply could not be consoled.

Her religion wasn't helping her either, because she is worried that suicides go to hell.

I don't see anything that hurts people more than losing loved ones. Then worrying about them going to hell only multiplies the agony.

Have you ever been able to console someone who has lost a loved one? I did recently, with a resident who lost his mother.

(Everyone is going to die. It would be nice if there were a way to prove what happens after death to the soul.

I'm convinced spirits exist, as anyone at RF knows, but am not sure what is from the spirit world and what is delusional at times.)

How do you go about helping someone grieving the loss of a loved one?

How do you cope with such a loss?

IDK,
Supposedly, every one grieves in their own way.
I lock my self in my room for a while. Until I'm ok I suppose.
Others may seek the support of family or friends.
I suspect you'd make yourself available if needed. Don't intrude if not.

After the funeral of a friend who recently died, I was at the home of his wife at a formal get together.
I started telling stories about all the crazy things he did when we worked together. People were smiling.
When I went to leave, she came up to me and hugged me very tightly. Kind of surprised me.
Later I realize, it wasn't me she was hugging. She was hugging the memory of her husband I carried with me.
 

Twilight Hue

Twilight, not bright nor dark, good nor bad.
I was good friends with a woman whose son committed suicide. She simply could not be consoled.

Her religion wasn't helping her either, because she is worried that suicides go to hell.

I don't see anything that hurts people more than losing loved ones. Then worrying about them going to hell only multiplies the agony.

Have you ever been able to console someone who has lost a loved one? I did recently, with a resident who lost his mother.

(Everyone is going to die. It would be nice if there were a way to prove what happens after death to the soul.

I'm convinced spirits exist, as anyone at RF knows, but am not sure what is from the spirit world and what is delusional at times.)

How do you go about helping someone grieving the loss of a loved one?

How do you cope with such a loss?
Those things just have to run its course. Not much anyone can do aside being supportive.
 

Alienistic

Anti-conformity
I am fine with physical death. It happens. To many thousands daily, in many different ways. All born with an eventual death certificate. Before I’d bring a child into this world, I’d assess every possible potential outcome for them, including suicide. And whatever it is that they would do and become of them, that burden and responsibility would be on me and not their fault. Children wouldn’t be seen as “my possession or ownership,” but rather their own entity. Wouldn’t personally use the physical death of someone to make it about me and my emotions or misery.

Nevertheless, that is me while I can also see the effects it has on most. Some good answers here on how to cope. Time, attempted laughter and celebration of their “greatest hits and moments” in this existence, simply being there, attempts at inner strengthening and release, or even some kind of hope that it will all be okay for them even if we don’t know that.
 

mangalavara

सो ऽहम्
Premium Member
Have you ever been able to console someone who has lost a loved one? I did recently, with a resident who lost his mother.

That is very kind and compassionate of you. I have yet to console someone who has lost a loved one.

For me, it is more about being there with them so they do not feel alone and abandon in their sorrow. And listen to them when they speak of the one they have lost, so it is not me who try to heal them or tell them "everything going to be fine"

It is amazing, isn't it, that listening most of the time is what helps individuals.

When it comes to losing someone, as I said before, I lost both my parents, and the way I personally coped with it was becoming silent for a long time, going within and thinking a lot. And I did not have many people around me who spoke with me at that time.

Would the presence of more people have helped?

Later I realize, it wasn't me she was hugging. She was hugging the memory of her husband I carried with me.

No words to describe the feeling...

Those things just have to run its course. Not much anyone can do aside being supportive

That makes sense because, from what I've heard, nobody really gets over the loss of a loved one.
 

Spirit of Light

Be who ever you want
Would the presence of more people have helped?

.
That is a very good question :) And I am glad you asked.
My father died in the year 2000, and I was more there for my mom and her sorrow and sadness than I had time to look at what happened to me, so it is possible that when I closed down and went within me, to "hide" my own sadness and feeling of loss, it would have been better for me to have someone to speak to :)
My mother died in 2013 and this time I did have my mother's friend I could speak with, but the help was not there, because she wanted more to "fix me" than be there to listen. So it becomes more again that I shut down.
What I did learn from this was that if someone loses someone near them, it is not me who should tell them what to do and how they should feel or do in the situation, But it is more important to listen and if they ask, then I would do what they ask, or answer to my ability of their question :)
 

Hockeycowboy

Witness for Jehovah
Premium Member
Knowing that right now, they are “R.I.P.”ing, and one day (which is coming soon, from what I understand about how these times relate to Scripture), they will be resurrected.

For the dead though, even if they died a thousand years ago, when they “wake up (Daniel 12:2)”, it’ll be just like a second or two has passed.

IMO, based on Scripture
 
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