Put the need of others before your own needs.

To be there for others does not mean one should forget about our own self-care If you cant take care of your own health, there is nobody there, in the end, to care for others. So put the need of others before your own, but be smart and leave some space in life to take care of yourself when there is time for it.

Give yourself a gift, be the one who lives for others but sees your own being as the driving force to give others what they need, but remember to listen to what they are in need of. You are there to give them what they are in need of, but not to think you know what they are in need of.

If they are in darkness, give them light, if they are in sorrow give them a shoulder to cry on.

One day there will come someone who takes care of you and your needs. that is the moment you know you have given all you had to give. Be grateful for the help other people give you.

Say thank you.

In a way, I look at it, rather than 'I' and 'them', a big game of standing dominos. I try not to discriminate with thoughts like "I must help this one, then that one, then me" but rather attend to which domino needs adjusting first in order to keep them all from falling over.

JustGeorge said:

In a way, I look at it, rather than 'I' and 'them', a big game of standing dominos. I try not to discriminate with thoughts like "I must help this one, then that one, then me" but rather attend to which domino needs adjusting first in order to keep them all from falling over.

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If it becomes a must, yes then one has misunderstood the help would be better when it comes from your heart And not from "I HAVE TO"

Reversed in Star Trek III

Pay no attention to @Conscious thoughts. He's obviously one of those radical, liberal, left-wing socialists.

@Conscious thoughts reminds me greatly of another Muslim member who frequented this place some time back.

Going against several million years of evolution - what could possibly go wrong?

Mock Turtle said:

Going against several million years of evolution - what could possibly go wrong?

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What do you mean?

Conscious thoughts said:

What do you mean?

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We tend to be selfish by nature - mostly self-protection - and all else is an add-on as we often grow to value things outside of ourselves - even such as to becoming more important than our own lives, but I think this is still not as natural as self-protection. The love of a mother, or father perhaps, for their child often transcends this, and the love for others often does so too, but our empathy and love is so often rather local. So I'm mostly a believer in accepting much of our past evolution, as to our more natural behaviours, even if I would like things to be different. Hence why I'm not so condemning of others when often some are not able to control themselves as well as others.

Conscious thoughts said:

What do you mean?

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Square peg -- round hole.
Brains and senses fine tuned for a tribal, small-band, hunter-gatherer lifestyle on the African Savanna suddenly trying to cope with a modern, multicultural, industrial civilization.
Yeah, that'll work....

Valjean said:

Square peg -- round hole.
Brains and senses fine tuned for a tribal, small-band, hunter-gatherer lifestyle on the African Savanna suddenly trying to cope with a modern, multicultural, industrial civilization.
Yeah, that'll work....

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Personally I believe in putting others first

lewisnotmiller said:

@Conscious thoughts reminds me greatly of another Muslim member who frequented this place some time back.

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Was the Muslim you thought of a peaceful mind too?

"The needs of the groundskeeper outweigh the needs of the many."

Conscious thoughts said:

Was the Muslim you thought of a peaceful mind too?

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In some ways he was quite different to you, but he was friendly to all (not just those he agreed with) and was willing to explain his position on things, even though he really wasn't much interested in debate.

lewisnotmiller said:

In some ways he was quite different to you, but he was friendly to all (not just those he agreed with) and was willing to explain his position on things, even though he really wasn't much interested in debate.

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Sounded like a good person

Mock Turtle said:

Going against several million years of evolution - what could possibly go wrong?

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I've heard it said if one always does what one always did, one will always get what one always got.

I think putting ourselves first is getting us into trouble on a global scale...

Our environmental situation is a hot mess, literally.

If we keep it up, its all downhill from here.

JustGeorge said:

I've heard it said if one always does what one always did, one will always get what one always got.

I think putting ourselves first is getting us into trouble on a global scale...

Our environmental situation is a hot mess, literally.

If we keep it up, its all downhill from here.

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No issues with our aiming to become better but I think we should be realistic as to why we all don't behave in a saintly manner, and not just blame it on the bad/evil ones, or on our fallen nature, when it is more likely to come from our mix of rational and irrational thinking and/or behaviour, and such coming from what we are - a mix of the sophisticated and the base.

As a coincidence, and for @Conscious thoughts too, I opened the book I'm currently reading (The Moral Animal by Robert Wright) and this was the second paragraph I came across - where Wright quotes from one of his cites:

'Richard Alexander, in particular, has stressed the evolutionary importance of moral self-advertisement. In The Biology of Moral Systems he writes that "modern society is filled with myths" about our goodness: "that scientists are humble and devoted truth-seekers; that doctors dedicate their lives to alleviation of suffering; that teachers dedicate their lives to their students; that we are all basically law-abiding, kind, altruistic souls who place everyone's interests before our own."'

Of course we all vary, and some are more inclined to one end of the spectrum (selfless - selfish) than others. What we are born with often determines this too. But I think we have to be realistic.