• Welcome to Religious Forums, a friendly forum to discuss all religions in a friendly surrounding.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Access to private conversations with other members.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon!

"I'm not a racist but..."

Buttercup

Buttercup

Veteran Member
angellous_evangellous said:
If it's just skin color that is the aversion, my first reaction is no. If that is racism, we'd have to conclude that a person is a homophobe if they are not attracted to persons of the same sex.
Click to expand...
Great analogy. I agree.

Because a person is not sexually attracted to someone of another race does not make them racist. Practicing racism implies superiority, prejudice and discrimination in a hurtful sense over another person, to the detriment of the minority. Preferring one skin color over another is not a hurtful practice. If it is, you might as well say that preferring blue eyes over brown is racist as well.
 
Kamala

Kamala

Member
I have certain physical characteristics I'm attracted to, specifically certain aspects of facial structure. I've never seen these particular characteristics in Hispanic people or Native American people. I wouldn't entirely disregard them as dating possibilities if I were single, but I generally don't ever expect to be attracted to them. It's not racism, it's just that those particular groups (and probably others out there I haven't seen) just generally don't have the sorts of facial structures I'm attracted to.

Sayid would be good, but I'd much rather hang with Mohinder from Heroes. :D
 
Ori

Ori

Angel slayer
Faint said:
In the dating world does aversion to a specific skin color make one a racist?

For example, I was talking to a (hetero) girl recently who said that she's not racist but she would never date a black guy. Why? She doesn't like how they look. She seems to have nothing else against them other then their physical appearance.

What do you think? Is this a racist attitude or just a mating preference?

By that same token, what if a guy tells you that he'd never date a girl who is above a size 2, or a girl who tells you she'd never date a guy shorter than her? Are these unfair prejudices...or completely reasonable preferences?
Click to expand...

That kinda reminds me of saying "i'm not gay, but maybe I just haven't met the right bloke yet" :D
 
Dr. Nosophoros

Dr. Nosophoros

Active Member
Whatever you are attracted to is the rule to me, physical is obviously the first because that is what you see first, there is nothing wrong in being preferencial one way or another no matter what the "guilt" "shame"mongers try to instill , it's what you are/aren't attracted to.

For myself I generally prefer larger, more curvy white girls first but there are women of all races that are extremely stimulating to me in their own right and racial makeup. I don't find most black women attractive but there are some (I've had a few black girlfriends) overall it's what turns you on and makes you want to mate- that's why we do what we do. So why feel guilty about our preferences?
 
Ðanisty

Ðanisty

Well-Known Member
Kamala said:
I have certain physical characteristics I'm attracted to, specifically certain aspects of facial structure. I've never seen these particular characteristics in Hispanic people or Native American people. I wouldn't entirely disregard them as dating possibilities if I were single, but I generally don't ever expect to be attracted to them. It's not racism, it's just that those particular groups (and probably others out there I haven't seen) just generally don't have the sorts of facial structures I'm attracted to.

Sayid would be good, but I'd much rather hang with Mohinder from Heroes. :D
Click to expand...
Oh, Mohinder from Heroes is hot!
 
Kamala

Kamala

Member
0000035202_20061021061609.jpg


Sendhil Ramamurthy. :drool:
 
S

sonflour_2001

Member
I also distinguish between the words preference and prejudice based on what someone can change easily about themselves. For instance, you have preferences about habits and characteristics that can be improved upon, or are within the power of the person to change easily. I.e. I prefer non-smokers to smokers, or I prefer dudes with short hair over long hair.
However, prejudices are usually biases formed against someone for things that cannot be easily changed, or were born with, and oftentimes come from earlier historical influences on our wants. I.e. I prefer tall men to short men. (Why? Traditionally, tall men have been considered superior to short men because of our associations of height with power...) A short man should be just as preferable as a tall man, and can be just as attractive, but a lot of them are overlooked because of their stature.

However, do what you do. In any case, at the very least, try to be honest with yourself and evaluate your "preferences" instead of lazily asserting that you have no control over them. A lot of times, they can easily be changed simply by opening your mind to new possibilities.

Dee
 
michel

michel

Administrator Emeritus
Staff member
Faint said:
In the dating world does aversion to a specific skin color make one a racist?

For example, I was talking to a (hetero) girl recently who said that she's not racist but she would never date a black guy. Why? She doesn't like how they look. She seems to have nothing else against them other then their physical appearance.

What do you think? Is this a racist attitude or just a mating preference?

By that same token, what if a guy tells you that he'd never date a girl who is above a size 2, or a girl who tells you she'd never date a guy shorter than her? Are these unfair prejudices...or completely reasonable preferences?
Click to expand...

As darkpenguin said, I think those come down to personal preferrences.

I did once have a girl friend who was taller than I ; it didn't bother me in the least, but she always walked on the outside, in the gutter.
 
love

love

tri-polar optimist
I beieve that dating and mating are two different things. I once had a neighbor (female) who prefered black men. She was redheaded with blue eyes. Both of her children (two young adults, male and female) had all of the physical features of someone with a totally black heritage. I noticed that all of their visiting friends were black. Did she disregard her heritage and give her children no choice in the matter.
 
Quoth The Raven

Quoth The Raven

Half Arsed Muse
michel said:
As darkpenguin said, I think those come down to personal preferrences.

I did once have a girl friend who was taller than I ; it didn't bother me in the least, but she always walked on the outside, in the gutter.
Click to expand...
The guy I was going out with at Uni was shorter than me. My grandmother asked me one day if I wore heels when we went out, and was shocked when I said yes, because I was making the height difference more obvious.:cover:
My response was,'Nan, he's the bloody yellow pages (say 4 inches at the time - which I knew because we got bored one day and stacked things up for him to stand on to see what it took to make us the same height) shorter than me already, it's not something that's going to be missed by me wearing flat shoes with a ball gown.':rolleyes:
 
Mathematician

Mathematician

Reason, and reason again
Speaking as a (mostly) Caucasian male, I can proudly say I have my heart set on the beautiful Asian women. :D Does that mean I'm racist against other whites?
 
XAAX

XAAX

Active Member
BUDDY said:
I think it is the very definition of racism. To close yourself off entirely from someone based solely on the color of the there skin...well I think that it would be a no brainer to consider that racist. What if they are the greatest, nicest, friendliest person that ever lived and cold make you happier than you have ever been? Not good enough because they are black?
Click to expand...

I don't think that is fair to say either...I think it comes to preference...I am as far from a racist as someone can go, that still doesn't mean that I have to be attracted to a particular group of people. I have freinds that are mixed couples...big deal..I just don't find black females attractive, nor do I find most white girls with bright red hair attractive...Just a matter of taste...
 
jeffrey

jeffrey

†ßig Dog†
OK, so if a black man refuses to date black women, is he also a racist toward blacks? If a white woman only dates black men, is she a racist toward whites? :shrug: I've known both. I've heard the names called for their personal preferences. As others have stated, it boils down to preferences.

Look at Phil. His he prejudice just because he gives every girl he dates a trampoline test? I think not! I admire him for going the extra step!
 
Lycan

Lycan

Preternatural
Preferences of attraction are not only mental but physical as well, your body reacts (whether you want it to or not) to certain physical characteristics, which is not under your control or be considered prejudice, as it is an involuntary response to stimuli.
As far as basing potential partner choices on physical appearance being shallow, let's face it, physical attraction in any relationship is important no matter how "nice" you think someone is, without that "lust" for one another it will not work. I am not saying someone could not become more physically attractive to another over time and with getting to know their personality better, but we generally pursue that which causes that bodily response right away.
It is rather unfair to think that just because someone is not attracted to a particular race, sex, physical type, etc., that they are just not being honest with themselves, closeminded, or racist, when infact they are only following instinctual responses (i.e. preferences...)
 
Fluffy

Fluffy

A fool
Racism is the idea that we can deduce a characteristic of a person's personality from their skin colour. It has nothing to do with our ability to distinguish between different colours.
 
Hema

Hema

Sweet n Spicy
Personal preference. It probably has to do with one's genes. For instance, I think that Indian men are the most yummy. My fiance being the yummiest of course. :drool:
 
Scuba Pete

Scuba Pete

Le plongeur avec attitude...
Racism is all about hatred, intolerance and feeling superior to another race. I had a black girlfriend once and have had a couple of white girlfriends. I am sure that prejudices will find their way into our dating schema, but not all those who prefer thin lips over thick lips can be said to be racist.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top