Trigger warning: Is this abuse?

Hermit Philosopher said:

Dear RayofLight

Supposing that it used to take place in the past and is not happening to you any longer + that to your knowledge, your relatives are not currently doing this to another child/children; I would not set down this trail of thought of yours without ensuring that I absolutely knew why I wanted to do so.

When we re-interpret old, first-hand experiences through the judgements of others in the present, we are likely to reach new conclusions with significant impact on ourselves.

Will answering your questions enrich your relation to self and others? Will it increase your sense of (well)being? If not, is it still something you are wanting to do…?
Where do you expect your answers to take you emotionally?


Humbly
Hermit

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I've been looking into the past to help myself and others

Revoltingest said:

It's definitely abuse.
Did your aunt & uncle become moderators?

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No thank goodness

RayofLight said:

I've been looking into the past to help myself and others

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Then I would advise you to approach it constructively.

Firstly, remember that whatever is done onto you, is not your responsibility. You are only ever responsible for what you do with what is done onto you. You may wish to turn it into a burden to bear, but the burden is theirs to own, not your. I spend much time helping people to return burdens to where they rightfully belong, so don’t you go picking up your relatives’ now.

Secondly, was there anything (skills, methods of distraction, coping-mechanisms) that you mastered during your long weeks in corners of rooms that you suspect you would not have, had you instead been doing what kids should be doing?

It’s no joke. If you manage to start from this position, you’ll be better equipped for what’s coming down the line. Trust me, I speak from experience.


Humbly
Hermit

RayofLight said:

Cuz I honestly dont know. I told my friend about it he said it was. I thought it was normal parenting. My aunt and uncle whenever I got in trouble would have me stand in the corner...usually when parents do this it's only for a few minutes. But in my case it'd be weeks maybe months at a time. I sometimes would forget why I was in there. I'd only be allowed to sit when told to and I'd still have to stand for hours. I'd only be allowed out for 5 reasons: to go to the bathroom, to sleep, to eat, school, and to rub my aunt or uncle's feet or back. Is it abusive to be in the corner that long? If it is why?

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Clearly this is excessive punishment ( abuse ) and neglect. A few minutes or an hour are fine.

What makes me sick at the core is lifting the punishment to rub feet or scratch backs. Further indication of their priorities and self-centered abusive relationship with you.

My father was like this only worse.

Viker said:

What makes me sick at the core is lifting the punishment to rub feet or scratch backs.

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I do a great job doing massages. Or so I was told anyway.


Edit: Usually before the punishment Id be hit like 40 times with a belt or wooden spoon(I would count and once I got to a certian number like 40 or 50 I'd stop). That I knew was abusive

RayofLight said:

I do a great job doing massages. Or so I was told anyway.

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No matter. They were using you.

I'm sure you are a caring and kind person. It sickens me that the sweetest people get stomped on.

Viker said:

No matter. They were using you.

I'm sure you are a caring and kind person. It sickens me that the sweetest people get stomped on.

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They were.

My father did things like this and then worse. He's the main reason for my therapy to this day.

Viker said:

My father did things like this and then worse. He's the main reason for my therapy to this day.

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Sorry to hear that(hugs) need to talk I am here for you pm is always open.

It's often only when we compare our early lives with those of others that we might see how well we fared compared to 'the norm'. I'm sure I am not the only one to not experience physical affection that much as a child, even though I knew that I was loved by my mother and father. Those were different times and not like these days where open affection and love towards children is much more likely to be shown, especially since it is known to encourage natural development, and where it is exhibited so often in daily life all around us (in the media and such). And from many photos of when I was a small child, I seemed to be constantly sulking - about which I just can't remember - and seemingly had none really to blame for such (apart from myself) - parents or older brothers. I suppose punishment, of any sort, is quite common in so many families though, and the extent is the issue in your case Ray.