Laws regarding sexual purity and immorality

Trigger warning- mention of rape

So I came across this on here:

thomas t said:

Rape victims having to marry their rapist? Unthinkable today in the USA.
But back then, Tamar complained. Know that story?
Tamar was a rape victim and she knew that she had to marry the rapist, and yet she complained....She complained about the rapist NOT wanting to marry her.
That's Bible. That's how things used to be back then, I think. 2 Samuel 13:16.

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Now this is not the point of this thread...I just bring it up to point out why I was reading up on laws regarding sexual purity and immorality...cuz I realized altho Ive read that story a thousand times it for some reason it escaped my mind the fact she complained about him not marrying her...I mean I knew she did but it didn't get processed. So while I was trying to figure out why Tamar wanted to marry her rapist( still figuring it out...I think it may have to do with how low women were thought of if they weren't married and the emphasis on virginity before marriage that it was just preferable to marry him rather then be a social outcast not that she actually wanted to) I noticed something. There are a few things Leviticus, Exodus, and Deuteronomy missed making me wonder if those werent all the laws regarding sexual immorality and purity given to the Jews at the time. Like for example: what happens if a child or married women is raped? It doesnt say. Either these things werent important or acknowledged or laws regarding it werent mentioned. It also seems based on the wording of Deuteronomy 22:28-29 the man is commanded to marry her not the other way around...not sure if it makes much of a difference but very curious wording. Then again I dont know ancient Hebrew and relying on multiple translations and scholars...and I have yet to Google what words are used in Hebrew and what scholars say they mean. Thoughts?

RayofLight said:

Trigger warning- mention of rape

So I came across this on here:

Now this is not the point of this thread...I just bring it up to point out why I was reading up on laws regarding sexual purity and immorality...cuz I realized altho Ive read that story a thousand times it for some reason escaped my mind the fact she complained about him not marrying her...I mean I knew she did but it didn't get processed. So while I was trying to figure out why Tamar wanted to marry her rapist( still figuring it out...I think it may have to do with how low women were thought of if they weren't married and the emphasis on virginity before marriage that it was just preferable to marry him rather then be a social outcast not that she actually wanted to) I noticed something. There are a few things Leviticus, Exodus, and Deuteronomy missed making me wonder if those werent all the laws regarding sexual immorality and purity given to the Jews at the time. Like for example: what happens if a child or married women is raped? It doesnt say. Either these things werent important or acknowledged or laws regarding it werent mentioned. It also seems based on the wording of Deuteronomy 22:28-29 the man is commanded to marry her not the other way around...not sure if it makes much of a different but very curious wording. Then again I dont know ancient Hebrew and relying on multiple translations and scholars...and I have yet to Google what words are used in Hebrew and what scholars say they mean. Thoughts?

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We don't even know that Tamar complained in my opinion, after all it was men who wrote the scriptures, not Tamar

danieldemol said:

We don't even know that Tamar complained in my opinion, after all it was men who wrote the scriptures, not Tamar

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True and the story is so male oriented. Her rape is even used to justify the murder of Amnon by Absalom...

RayofLight said:

Trigger warning- mention of rape

So I came across this on here:

Now this is not the point of this thread...I just bring it up to point out why I was reading up on laws regarding sexual purity and immorality...cuz I realized altho Ive read that story a thousand times it for some reason it escaped my mind the fact she complained about him not marrying her...I mean I knew she did but it didn't get processed. So while I was trying to figure out why Tamar wanted to marry her rapist( still figuring it out...I think it may have to do with how low women were thought of if they weren't married and the emphasis on virginity before marriage that it was just preferable to marry him rather then be a social outcast not that she actually wanted to) I noticed something. There are a few things Leviticus, Exodus, and Deuteronomy missed making me wonder if those werent all the laws regarding sexual immorality and purity given to the Jews at the time. Like for example: what happens if a child or married women is raped? It doesnt say. Either these things werent important or acknowledged or laws regarding it werent mentioned. It also seems based on the wording of Deuteronomy 22:28-29 the man is commanded to marry her not the other way around...not sure if it makes much of a difference but very curious wording. Then again I dont know ancient Hebrew and relying on multiple translations and scholars...and I have yet to Google what words are used in Hebrew and what scholars say they mean. Thoughts?

Click to expand...

Women did not automatically have to give sex to their man, possibly; because the Torah doesn't specify. In the marriage contract the wife's sexual favors are considered to be rented, technically. This suggests to me that the woman can say 'No' or cannot be penalized for refusing. Now that rental may be for love, and I don't know all about it and just have looked at one translated contract from the Roman period. You can get access to some Jewish marriage contracts as far back as the Roman period, and perhaps even earlier. What I can tell you is only the husband is required in the Pentateuch to offer sex at least once monthly in any scripture I can find, so in any marriage contract he's required to provide the opportunity for reproduction and it must be during a fertile part of the month. That does not necessarily mean she is required unless its in her contract. It is reasonable I think to guess that the rapist in this case would not have sexual rights but would only have the duty of paying money and providing should she have children, but maybe the woman did have a duty, too? I don't think so, since rape suggests the father would not be a very good parent.

Actually this might be an interesting question to pose in the Judaism Dir. You could ask how the law is interpreted. Does the raped and married woman have any sexual duties? I don't think anyone has ever posed this question.

Even if these scriptures were written by men I think they are flawless.

Incest of any kind was forbidden in the OT.
Even today, sexual abuse is often called incest in the English speaking West,

Yeah, the Bible says a man marries a woman and not the other way round.
and yet, one of the very few stories about marriage - Rebacca and Isaac - has Rebecca getting asked if she wanted to marry this man.
So I think, a Christian marriage is among consenting adults.
All else wouldn't be love and husbands are called to love their women.
But here I see a direction, too: in the NT, women aren't called to love their husbands (prove me wrong if you know a verse that claims otherwise). However, the NT orders men to love their wives, so I think that Jesus knew there was macholike-behavior going on making it difficult for women to love their hubbies.

Marrying a married women meant death penalty, if I remember right.
Or are you talking about rape in wedlock, @RayofLight ? True there isn't a Bible verse saying men must not rape their wives.
But still, rape is not loving and husbands are called to love their wives.

EDIT: are you asking what happens in the Bible when a child gets raped by someone outside the family? Child abuse inside the family is much more common today...
I don't know. Same-sex rape was death penalty, I think,
but if it's someone from the opposite sex, you might ask? Like a man and a girl?
I think, it's marriage again. For OT regulations, it's similar to raping a woman, I guess.

In the NT, it's different: it says that anyone making a child fall off faith would be better off being drowned in the sea than facing God's judgement.
I think this is about child abuse, but may not be limited to this..

Luke 17:2

Thank you for asking, Ray

RayofLight said:

Trigger warning- mention of rape

So I came across this on here:

Now this is not the point of this thread...I just bring it up to point out why I was reading up on laws regarding sexual purity and immorality...cuz I realized altho Ive read that story a thousand times it for some reason it escaped my mind the fact she complained about him not marrying her...I mean I knew she did but it didn't get processed. So while I was trying to figure out why Tamar wanted to marry her rapist( still figuring it out...I think it may have to do with how low women were thought of if they weren't married and the emphasis on virginity before marriage that it was just preferable to marry him rather then be a social outcast not that she actually wanted to) I noticed something. There are a few things Leviticus, Exodus, and Deuteronomy missed making me wonder if those werent all the laws regarding sexual immorality and purity given to the Jews at the time. Like for example: what happens if a child or married women is raped? It doesnt say. Either these things werent important or acknowledged or laws regarding it werent mentioned. It also seems based on the wording of Deuteronomy 22:28-29 the man is commanded to marry her not the other way around...not sure if it makes much of a difference but very curious wording. Then again I dont know ancient Hebrew and relying on multiple translations and scholars...and I have yet to Google what words are used in Hebrew and what scholars say they mean. Thoughts?

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I believe that is why we have the Holy Spirit to fill in the gaps. He told me that oral sex is immoral and that is not in the Bible.