Houses

JustGeorge · Mar 28, 2021

Went for a drive this afternoon, and passed by the house we previously lived in. Though it was always a bit outdated and rough, my 7 year old saw it and said "call the excavator". Its in bad shape. Hole in one side, half the siding ripped(I suspect unintentionally) on the other, windows damaged, and tubing coming out of the garage window. There was a man sitting in the front yard with a sign that said "spare money", and putting much of what I saw together, I suspect he wasn't wanting it for home repairs. I kind of felt like crying.

I am certain the neighbor who once was annoyed with some of our laid back ways(and older vehicles) now misses us dearly.

Farther down the street, is an empty lot in which some trees and bushes now grow. That is where a house I lived in, too, once stood. However, I don't feel the same when I drive by here. Not only am I impressed with the trees, I feel a bit of relief. You'd think I'd have suffered there, but I didn't, really. I just never liked the house.

Our houses tend to outlive us. While we have a typical lifespan of 60-100 years, a properly cared for house can stand for much longer. They develop personalities all their own, and they get an energy to them that can be just as strong, if not stronger, than a person's. A lot of time we feel a strong connection to a childhood home(for me, I feel nothing for my childhood home, but tormented every time they change something on the neighbor's), either being positive or negative based on our experiences with being young, but sometimes another house takes precedence as the place we feel is 'home'.

What is your experience? Do you have a connection with a house past or present? Is/was it yours, or someone else's? Perhaps just a place you passed by for years? What houses are meaningful to you?

SomeRandom · Mar 28, 2021

I connect with people who happen to correlate to houses, I suppose.
Like one of the first houses I lived in in Queensland was this flat in a suburb over from me. I was real young, maybe 5 or 6 when we moved out of it. But my uncle and aunt still live on that same cal de sac. Apparently one of the old neighbours of mine who is roughly my age fell into drugs since I left. So that’s a bit sad. Bit of a druggie area anyway, so I guess not that surprising but still.
Two of our oldest family friends still live in the same houses up at Sunny coast.
Every time we visit it’s like a flood of nostalgia for me. I practically grew up in those houses.
Same with my uncle’s house down the road from me. He’s done some reno on it over the years. But that house still feels like childhood to me. Probably as much as his own daughter lol
I grew up over there.

JustGeorge · Mar 28, 2021

SomeRandom said:
I connect with people who happen to correlate to houses, I suppose.
Like one of the first houses I lived in in Queensland was this flat in a suburb over from me. I was real young, maybe 5 or 6 when we moved out of it. But my uncle and aunt still live on that same cal de sac. Apparently one of the old neighbours of mine who is roughly my age fell into drugs since I left. So that’s a bit sad. Bit of a druggie area anyway, so I guess not that surprising but still.
Two of our oldest family friends still live in the same houses up at Sunny coast.
Every time we visit it’s like a flood of nostalgia for me. I practically grew up in those houses.
Same with my uncle’s house down the road from me. He’s done some reno on it over the years. But that house still feels like childhood to me. Probably as much as his own daughter lol
I grew up over there.

Yeah, I get that... Some places will always have that 'familiar' sense to them.

I don't have many houses that I can go back to... My sister owns our childhood house, but I don't feel anything for it. Grandma's house, though, always feels like 'home'(though I never lived there). I suppose she worked very hard to make it so, though.

lewisnotmiller · Mar 28, 2021

JustGeorge said:
Went for a drive this afternoon, and passed by the house we previously lived in. Though it was always a bit outdated and rough, my 7 year old saw it and said "call the excavator". Its in bad shape. Hole in one side, half the siding ripped(I suspect unintentionally) on the other, windows damaged, and tubing coming out of the garage window. There was a man sitting in the front yard with a sign that said "spare money", and putting much of what I saw together, I suspect he wasn't wanting it for home repairs. I kind of felt like crying.

I am certain the neighbor who once was annoyed with some of our laid back ways(and older vehicles) now misses us dearly.

Farther down the street, is an empty lot in which some trees and bushes now grow. That is where a house I lived in, too, once stood. However, I don't feel the same when I drive by here. Not only am I impressed with the trees, I feel a bit of relief. You'd think I'd have suffered there, but I didn't, really. I just never liked the house.

Our houses tend to outlive us. While we have a typical lifespan of 60-100 years, a properly cared for house can stand for much longer. They develop personalities all their own, and they get an energy to them that can be just as strong, if not stronger, than a person's. A lot of time we feel a strong connection to a childhood home(for me, I feel nothing for my childhood home, but tormented every time they change something on the neighbor's), either being positive or negative based on our experiences with being young, but sometimes another house takes precedence as the place we feel is 'home'.

What is your experience? Do you have a connection with a house past or present? Is/was it yours, or someone else's? Perhaps just a place you passed by for years? What houses are meaningful to you?

I work hard to try and separate the emotions from the material object. It does take some effort, occasionally, but I've done that for so long it more often that not 'just happens that way' now.
So when I drive past my family home from my youth (now owned by different people) I don't feel much more than curiosity, really, and even that of a mild sort.

My daughter is the complete opposite. Every time we clean out her wardrobe to get her new clothes (which she loves getting) it causes her considerable distress to throw out old things. She is able to recall key moments of her life where she was wearing them, and they serve somewhat like a photo might for me...they take her back to that place, to some degree. My wife just replaced the car she has had since as far back as my ten year old can remember, and it was a solemn day for her.

icehorse · Mar 28, 2021

JustGeorge said:
What is your experience? Do you have a connection with a house past or present? Is/was it yours, or someone else's? Perhaps just a place you passed by for years? What houses are meaningful to you?

My parents had a wonderful cabin "on a lake" in the woods. The bank is about to take it, and we can't stop it. It's very sad indeed.

Shadow Wolf · Mar 28, 2021

Not so much to a house, but I do feel some connection to Bakersfield, the first time I've ever lived somewhere that did feel like home and that people did make me feel more welcomed and accepted than they ever did in Indiana. And I also know that entire area like the back of my hand and know where most of almost everything there is.

JustGeorge · Mar 28, 2021

lewisnotmiller said:
My daughter is the complete opposite. Every time we clean out her wardrobe to get her new clothes (which she loves getting) it causes her considerable distress to throw out old things. She is able to recall key moments of her life where she was wearing them, and they serve somewhat like a photo might for me...they take her back to that place, to some degree. My wife just replaced the car she has had since as far back as my ten year old can remember, and it was a solemn day for her.

I don't get terribly attached to many objects, but I get where your daughter's coming from. There are a few clothing items I'd be sad to be rid of primarily because "I did ___ in this!" I also have had a few vehicles(but not all) I've shared those feelings with... The old red truck I was brought home from the hospital as an infant is one(and it saw my second son home as well). Its rusted to the point of resembling Swiss cheese, but it still runs. Its sitting in my garage now.

Shadow Wolf said:
Not so much to a house, but I do feel some connection to Bakersfield, the first time I've ever lived somewhere that did feel like home and that people did make me feel more welcomed and accepted than they ever did in Indiana. And I also know that entire area like the back of my hand and know where most of almost everything there is.

Though its probably not as strong as what you feel for Bakersfield, I've had that feeling for a few various places. I will note, to some extent, the comfortability and joy and being in those places was the relief of being away from here, if only for a little while.

Trailblazer · Mar 28, 2021

JustGeorge said:
What is your experience? Do you have a connection with a house past or present? Is/was it yours, or someone else's? Perhaps just a place you passed by for years? What houses are meaningful to you?

I can vaguely remember the house we lived in when I was growing up in Indiana, from age 5 to 12. We did not own it, we rented it. The next house I remember was in upstate NY, a house my mother bought after my dad died when I was 12.

My husband and I bought our first house in 1992 and we still own it. We lived there for 17 years and it has been a rental for the last 12 years. We just rented it out again this month. I have a sentimental attachment to that house even though it has caused me so much grief ever since it became a rental. It has gone through various stages but now it is in the best shape it was ever in due to repairs and remodels we have done within the past two years.

We bought another house in 2008, moved into it in 2009, and that is where we live now. One reason we got it because we needed a bigger house back then since we had 19 cats, but sadly all but one of those original cats are gone now, although we have acquired more cats so we still have seven cats. But we don't need a house this big, 2700 sq ft, for seven cats and two people so we never even go in half the house. That bothers me that it sits empty and gathers dust but I have no solution at present. One reason I think we should keep this house is because we might need that extra space when we get older and need a caretaker, since we have no children or other family.

Then we have another house in a very small town about three hours away which is on a bluff overlooking the ocean. I love that house and if I could live in any one of the three houses it would be that one, if I was not still working and if it was not so far from any medical services. We bought that house in 2010 with the intention of it being a vacation rental home and an investment, but it has always been a monthly rental. We have had the same tenant for over eight years and he has consistently been behind on the rent, but now he is way behind as he owes me over 12,000, and I don't know what I am going to do if he does not pay. I am hoping he will get rental assistance from the money that will be allocated to the county from the new Biden bill. If not, I might have to eventually take him to court.

Trailblazer · Mar 28, 2021

icehorse said:
My parents had a wonderful cabin "on a lake" in the woods. The bank is about to take it, and we can't stop it. It's very sad indeed.

Our family also had a cabin in a lake in the woods in northern Ontario, Canada when I was a child but when my aunt died suddenly without a will her greedy sister got it even though my aunt wanted it to go to my brother. My only fond memories of childhood were spent in that cabin.

icehorse · Mar 28, 2021

Trailblazer said:
Our family also had a cabin in a lake in the woods in northern Ontario, Canada when I was a child but when my aunt died suddenly without a will her greedy sister got it even though my aunt wanted it to go to my brother. My only fond memories of childhood were spent in that cabin.

I spent a lot of time in Quetico, and then north of there in Sioux Lookout and Savant Lake. Was your cabin around there anywhere? Amazing walleye fishing!

Shadow Wolf · Mar 28, 2021

JustGeorge said:
Though its probably not as strong as what you feel for Bakersfield, I've had that feeling for a few various places. I will note, to some extent, the comfortability and joy and being in those places was the relief of being away from here, if only for a little while.

For me, I think that's just because there people were telling "welcome" and not "leave," and I got friendly smiles instead of cold scowls. And because of that it's also where I found some confidence and self-esteem, and lost 60 pounds. And because I had so much fun driving Lyft there, and was actually getting out and mingling with the crowd a bit.
And it's really nice to know your way around a city that size and all about the traffic times and detours (especially for trains, I know more detours for those than most born-and-raised locals), and just know where everything is (including where the cops are out patrolling).

Trailblazer · Mar 28, 2021

icehorse said:
I spent a lot of time in Quetico, and then north of there in Sioux Lookout and Savant Lake. Was your cabin around there anywhere? Amazing walleye fishing!

From looking at the map it appears as if where you spent time is it is quite distant from where out cabin was located on Weslemkoon Lake which is known for trout and bass as I recall.

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icehorse · Mar 28, 2021

Trailblazer said:
From looking at the map it appears as if where you spent time is it is quite distant from where out cabin was located on Weslemkoon Lake which is known for trout and bass as I recall.

man Ontario is HUGE - google said it's a 20 hour drive from your lake to Sioux Lookout!

Gargovic Malkav · Mar 29, 2021

JustGeorge said:
What is your experience? Do you have a connection with a house past or present? Is/was it yours, or someone else's? Perhaps just a place you passed by for years? What houses are meaningful to you?

Yes. Not just the house we lived in but the street too.
It was a really crappy neighbourhood with lots of shady types living there.
We had a heroin dealer living in the street so he attracted a lot of junkies.
My mom's purse got stolen by one of the man's clients.

But I was too young to understand what it all meant. I used to play with the children of these people.
This gave me a lot of good memories of the place.
I think the final push for my parents to move was when this new family moved in who didn't seem to care about anything or anyone.
Their children were these twin brothers who had quite an infamous reputation even for the neighbourhood's standards.
They chased a kid with an axe once, and one of them bit me in the arm because I refused to do what he said.

Despite that, I have a lot of good memories of that place because I was too young to see the wrongness in it (those were all worries for grown ups I guess).
I can still get a homely feeling from places that remind me of it.

I revisited the place multiple times many years later.
Funny thing is that everything seems much smaller when you revisit is as an adult.
Last time I visited it, it was turned into one big construction site, so I guess they were renovating the whole thing.
I wonder what it looks like now, and what kind of people live there.

JustGeorge · Mar 29, 2021

Gargovic Malkav said:
Yes. Not just the house we lived in but the street too.
It was a really crappy neighbourhood with lots of shady types living there.
We had a heroin dealer living in the street so he attracted a lot of junkies.
My mom's purse got stolen by one of the man's clients.

But I was too young to understand what it all meant. I used to play with the children of these people.
This gave me a lot of good memories of the place.
I think the final push for my parents to move was when this new family moved in who didn't seem to care about anything or anyone.
Their children were these twin brothers who had quite an infamous reputation even for the neighbourhood's standards.
They chased a kid with an axe once, and one of them bit me in the arm because I refused to do what he said.

Despite that, I have a lot of good memories of that place because I was too young to see the wrongness in it (those were all worries for grown ups I guess).
I can still get a homely feeling from places that remind me of it.

I revisited the place multiple times many years later.
Funny thing is that everything seems much smaller when you revisit is as an adult.
Last time I visited it, it was turned into one big construction site, so I guess they were renovating the whole thing.
I wonder what it looks like now, and what kind of people live there.

I grew up in a middle class neighborhood, but spent most of my adult life in lower class neighborhoods.

In those neighborhoods, I have been attacked, stolen from, had guns pulled on me, and neighbors stir up trouble. I also had people speak with me, made friends, mourned pets together, and cleared snow in winter. There was variety; some houses were beautiful, some run down. People looked and acted different. There might be a quiet old couple in one house, and a group of drug users in the next. One house might be modern, the next tacky.

In the middle class neighborhoods, people just call other people. Code enforcement. Police. Animal control. No one talks. No one does favors. Everything is passive aggressive. Everybody looks the same. Everybody drives the same cars, has the same decor in their yards.

Everyone thinks I'm nuts, but I sorely regret buying in this middle class neighborhood. Its a good house, but I just haven't adjusted to the area.

Gargovic Malkav · Mar 29, 2021

JustGeorge said:
I grew up in a middle class neighborhood, but spent most of my adult life in lower class neighborhoods.

In those neighborhoods, I have been attacked, stolen from, had guns pulled on me, and neighbors stir up trouble. I also had people speak with me, made friends, mourned pets together, and cleared snow in winter. There was variety; some houses were beautiful, some run down. People looked and acted different. There might be a quiet old couple in one house, and a group of drug users in the next. One house might be modern, the next tacky.

In the middle class neighborhoods, people just call other people. Code enforcement. Police. Animal control. No one talks. No one does favors. Everything is passive aggressive. Everybody looks the same. Everybody drives the same cars, has the same decor in their yards.

Everyone thinks I'm nuts, but I sorely regret buying in this middle class neighborhood. Its a good house, but I just haven't adjusted to the area.

So I guess it's not necessarily a childhood memory related thing.
Would you want to go back? Or do you feel you just need some more time to adjust?

JustGeorge · Mar 29, 2021

Gargovic Malkav said:
So I guess it's not necessarily a childhood memory related thing.
Would you want to go back? Or do you feel you just need some more time to adjust?

I'd love to pick up my house and go 'home'. We've been in this neighborhood 3 years now, and I like it less and less as time goes by.

In a strange way, the lower income neighborhoods felt safer. There were some dangerous people, but once you'd identified who was who, you could react accordingly. My experience in the middle class neighborhood have been that many people are disingenuous. You cannot tell who is friend and who is foe. It leaves me feeling unsettled.

I remember in the last neighborhood we were in, my son came home crying because a much larger kid had run off with his bike. We got a knock on the door about ten minutes later, with three different kids and my son's bike. "We saw that kid take his bike, so we chased him down and beat him up and took it back." I feel that was a good reflection of how things worked there... 25% of the folks could be nasty, but 75% had your back. (I gave each of the kids 10 bucks.)

Spirit of Light · Mar 29, 2021

JustGeorge said:
Went for a drive this afternoon, and passed by the house we previously lived in. Though it was always a bit outdated and rough, my 7 year old saw it and said "call the excavator". Its in bad shape. Hole in one side, half the siding ripped(I suspect unintentionally) on the other, windows damaged, and tubing coming out of the garage window. There was a man sitting in the front yard with a sign that said "spare money", and putting much of what I saw together, I suspect he wasn't wanting it for home repairs. I kind of felt like crying.

I am certain the neighbor who once was annoyed with some of our laid back ways(and older vehicles) now misses us dearly.

Farther down the street, is an empty lot in which some trees and bushes now grow. That is where a house I lived in, too, once stood. However, I don't feel the same when I drive by here. Not only am I impressed with the trees, I feel a bit of relief. You'd think I'd have suffered there, but I didn't, really. I just never liked the house.

Our houses tend to outlive us. While we have a typical lifespan of 60-100 years, a properly cared for house can stand for much longer. They develop personalities all their own, and they get an energy to them that can be just as strong, if not stronger, than a person's. A lot of time we feel a strong connection to a childhood home(for me, I feel nothing for my childhood home, but tormented every time they change something on the neighbor's), either being positive or negative based on our experiences with being young, but sometimes another house takes precedence as the place we feel is 'home'.

What is your experience? Do you have a connection with a house past or present? Is/was it yours, or someone else's? Perhaps just a place you passed by for years? What houses are meaningful to you?

I do not tend to connect with houses in this way, maybe because i feel at home no matter where i am?

ChristineM · Mar 29, 2021

JustGeorge said:
Went for a drive this afternoon, and passed by the house we previously lived in. Though it was always a bit outdated and rough, my 7 year old saw it and said "call the excavator". Its in bad shape. Hole in one side, half the siding ripped(I suspect unintentionally) on the other, windows damaged, and tubing coming out of the garage window. There was a man sitting in the front yard with a sign that said "spare money", and putting much of what I saw together, I suspect he wasn't wanting it for home repairs. I kind of felt like crying.

I am certain the neighbor who once was annoyed with some of our laid back ways(and older vehicles) now misses us dearly.

Farther down the street, is an empty lot in which some trees and bushes now grow. That is where a house I lived in, too, once stood. However, I don't feel the same when I drive by here. Not only am I impressed with the trees, I feel a bit of relief. You'd think I'd have suffered there, but I didn't, really. I just never liked the house.

Our houses tend to outlive us. While we have a typical lifespan of 60-100 years, a properly cared for house can stand for much longer. They develop personalities all their own, and they get an energy to them that can be just as strong, if not stronger, than a person's. A lot of time we feel a strong connection to a childhood home(for me, I feel nothing for my childhood home, but tormented every time they change something on the neighbor's), either being positive or negative based on our experiences with being young, but sometimes another house takes precedence as the place we feel is 'home'.

What is your experience? Do you have a connection with a house past or present? Is/was it yours, or someone else's? Perhaps just a place you passed by for years? What houses are meaningful to you?

We have had a couple of lovelly houses, and some real dumps. I don't miss any of them except my childhood home of which i some wonderful memories and i do miss the grounds and animal's we were able to home at our last property in the UK.

Where we live now is the first house i consider to be a home. Very comfortable here. Its old, built of local hard sandstone in the early 1800s with external walls about a metre thick. Its one of the more modern properties in the village with some houses built on Celtic foundation. Not a wall is straight, not a corner at right angles and i just love its quirks.

Houses

JustGeorge

Not As Much Fun As I Look

SomeRandom

Still learning to be wise

JustGeorge

Not As Much Fun As I Look

lewisnotmiller

Grand Hat

icehorse

......unaffiliated...... anti-dogmatist

Shadow Wolf

Certified People sTabber

JustGeorge

Not As Much Fun As I Look

Trailblazer

Veteran Member

Trailblazer

Veteran Member

icehorse

......unaffiliated...... anti-dogmatist

Shadow Wolf

Certified People sTabber

Trailblazer

Veteran Member

icehorse

......unaffiliated...... anti-dogmatist

Gargovic Malkav

Well-Known Member

JustGeorge

Not As Much Fun As I Look

Gargovic Malkav

Well-Known Member

JustGeorge

Not As Much Fun As I Look

Spirit of Light

Be who ever you want

ChristineM

"Be strong", I whispered to my coffee.