Never meet your heroes.

Okay, so I think it’s something of a rite of passage to “truly see “ your idols at some point. Probably more common in the digital age, to be honest.

But as this is the feminist DIR, what about in the context of feminist icons or role models or just people we admire? The crushing blow of realising that just because someone seems to champion good causes can also be a dirtbag?
I have fallen out with many such “champions” for a variety of reasons. My political positions have changed, or some scandal arises or something else.
But there a few that really hit home for me personally. Even as I acknowledge that that’s just humanity for you.

First one I truly grappled with was Roald Dahl. To be fair mostly because I was pretty young.
Now I know he isn’t one to be associated strongly with feminism, but I dunno. A lot of kids in my age bracket looked up to Matilda as a sort of role model. Especially girls. Here was a headstrong and determined young bookworm who was put upon by the world around her. Mocked for her book smarts and came out on top after proving herself more than capable. A younger sort of proto Hermione in a lot of ways, really.

Speaking of the overachieving muggle born, gotta go with JK Rowling. Whilst I wish her the best of luck, when she get involved in the “TERF” controversy it was almost like a betrayal. Here was someone who had seemingly stood up for LGBTQ rights and representation. (In hindsight it was mostly just shallow. But I mean we were kids so we didn’t know any better.)
And to see the hurt it caused some fans, I just can’t in good conscious continue to buy Potter merch, even as I continue to be a Potterhead for life lol.

Joss Whedon. Man, the news that he was apparently a sexual harasser (allegedly) and kind of a misogynist was like a crushing blow to my childhood. Here was the guy who created Buffy revealed as basically just another sexist. Or at least mild misogynist, I’m not entirely 100% up on the allegations. Buffy, man!! The leading lady who seemed to be the feminist icon of the mid 2000s. At least to my young eyes at the time. I will be forever a Buffy/Angel fan, but the betrayal hurt man. Granted with adult eyes I can kind of see the fetishisation within the show that my naive kid eyes missed. But still. That was like learning as a little kid that your favourite superhero was secretly a racist all this time.

What are some of yours? If you have any?
Discuss as you see fit

When I was young and still involved in Christianity hearing about how awful mother Teresa behaved towards the poor and sick under her care when was a big one.

Definitely felt the JK Rowling debacle. Same with Warren Ellis.

Decades ago, a book was released documenting the abuses several intellectuals and prominent people on the left had inflicted upon those closest to them. I think it began with a chapter on Sartre and what had been established about his abuse of Simone de Beauvoir, who many of you will recall wrote, The Second Sex.

The book's major cheap shot, in my opinion, was it ignored the intellectuals and prominent people on the right who have been abusive. The reason that was a cheap thing to do, according to me, is that, not only was it intentional, but it helped fuel the myths both sides have about how it's only the other guys who do bad things.

As long as people don't understand human nature as human nature, there will be no meaningful effort to figure out if anything can be done to ameliorate some of its less desired consequences. Masking a reality is the same as morally condoning and becoming a contributing cause of 'anything that happens next'.

Same goes for falsifying people's road maps. Same principle.

I doubt it will ever become a widely accepted fact that a person's true friends are not the ones feeding them BS.

My worst milkshake duck experience was JK Rowling and her TERFiness.