• Welcome to Religious Forums, a friendly forum to discuss all religions in a friendly surrounding.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Access to private conversations with other members.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon!

The Random, Meaningless Announcements Thread 3!

McBell

Resident Sourpuss
Magellan's Vox Theorem:
Voice transmissions in a given language become understandable by non-speakers of that language when amplified beyond normal conversational volume, occasionally resulting in quicker directions to the bathroom.​
 

McBell

Resident Sourpuss
In the begining there was nothing, then God said, "Let there be light"... and there was still nothing, but you could see it.
 

McBell

Resident Sourpuss
A little lady from North Carolina had worked in and around family dairy Farms since she was old enough to
walk...with hours of hard work and little compensation ..and when canned Carnation Milk became available in
grocery stores (1940's or 50's???) she read an advertisement offering $5,000 for the best slogan...rhyme beginning with "Carnation Milk is best of all...."
she said, "I know all about milk and dairy farms...I can do this!!!!"

She sent in her entry and about a week later, a black limo drove up in front of her house...
a man got out and said, Carnation LOVED your entry so much, we are here to award you $1000, even though we
will not be able to use it....
Here is her entry:
Carnation milk is best of all,
no tits to pull, no **** to haul
no buckets to wash, no hay to pitch,
just poke a hole in the son-of-a-*****!​
 

McBell

Resident Sourpuss
A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father.
She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating a snack cake.
The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your Twinkie."
She says, "Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too."
 

Wu Wei

ursus senum severiorum and ex-Bisy Backson
This'll get a certain poster barking mad....
McConnell makes case for acquittal ahead of trial...

and yet others view it as rather blasé

WT0hJgA.gif
 

Wu Wei

ursus senum severiorum and ex-Bisy Backson
So...you contact me and say "our laptop is not booting" And due to the distance your office is from mine, I tell you to ship it to me...you throw the power supply, a random VGA cable and the laptop in a box and ship it..... I get it and I have a laptop, power supply and a random VGA cable in a box...no packaging....just lose, rattling around in a box. Now something is rattling around inside of the laptop. I'm guessing this is a "we have an old laptop so lets break it so they send us a new one trick.

Well, you know, I was not able to boot it, but I sure as heck can re-image it and it appears to be working. So...in your attempt to get a new laptop by breaking the old one, you are getting your old laptop back. Also, we are in the process of getting ready to ship new laptops...guess who is going to be considered last.

You can tell by looking at this thing they have been throwing it around.... why am I going to give you a new one to abuse
 

sun rise

The world is on fire
Premium Member
So...you contact me and say "our laptop is not booting" And due to the distance your office is from mine, I tell you to ship it to me...you throw the power supply, a random VGA cable and the laptop in a box and ship it..... I get it and I have a laptop, power supply and a random VGA cable in a box...no packaging....just lose, rattling around in a box. Now something is rattling around inside of the laptop. I'm guessing this is a "we have an old laptop so lets break it so they send us a new one trick.

Well, you know, I was not able to boot it, but I sure as heck can re-image it and it appears to be working. So...in your attempt to get a new laptop by breaking the old one, you are getting your old laptop back. Also, we are in the process of getting ready to ship new laptops...guess who is going to be considered last.

You can tell by looking at this thing they have been throwing it around.... why am I going to give you a new one to abuse
That short story is worthy of a page in the "don't mess with IT"/BOFH archives.
 
Top