I have a legal name that nobody has ever called me. That name is on all my records.
Then I have the name that people have been calling me since birth. If you call me by my legal name, I might answer you, but I might not, because I'm not used to responding to it.
If you call me by the name I prefer and have been called my entire life, I will answer you every time.
So if I ask to be called say, "Mandy" instead of "Amanda" because I prefer to be called that, what skin is it off some teacher's nose to call me by the name I prefer?
Honestly, I think it's rude to call somebody by a name that they do not identify with.
Then make that preference known on the school records. It's done all the time.
It's rude for your FRIENDS to insist upon using a name you don't answer to.
It's rude for your business associates to do so.
It's even rude for strangers to do so, if you introduce yourself as "Mandy," and they somehow figure out that it's short for 'Amanda.'
But not for a teacher, who should have a more formal arrangement with the student anyway. Or perhaps that should be 'more respectful."
I'm aware of this. My sister has never used her first name, EVER. She uses her middle name, and a shortened version of that, as well. She is 'Katey."
And every year my parents had to go to school and insist that the records reflect that, because when they didn't, she was assigned to boy's gym.
Classic example of what I'm arguing here, come to think of it! Mom and Dad named the kid; if something changes, it's THEIR job to go to the school to fix it.
It is not the job of the school or the teacher, especially when the student is a child. It is not the teacher's job to adjust cultural and personal attitudes towards gender. His/her job is to teach the student what that student needs to know.
Perhaps if the teacher is actually a nanny, that might be different, but a teacher who has the kid for an hour...or three or four...a day?
No. The parents need to deal with it, officially. Then the teacher can do her job, and call Harry 'Harriet" or "Twinkletoes," according to the records.