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How to resist the urges to masturbate?

AHindu

New Member
Hello all. It’s me again. For those who don’t know, I was the one who posted that I had a problem with pornography a couple of years back. I’m doing much better now and rarely watch it.

Although, I used to watch it, I never masturbated to it. Mainly because I was not sure how to do so.

Last month, I accidentally learnt how to masturbate after coming across an article in the internet. I decided to try it out one night, out of curiosity.

It felt really pleasant. However, I felt even more guilty for masturbating. I’m not sure why I felt guilty, but decided that I will not masturbate again.

Over the past few days, the urge to masturbate was getting stronger. And I only felt these urges at night when I’m about to sleep. I’m finding it really difficult to resist these urges as they’re getting stronger and stronger each night. Due to this, I masturbated again last night.

So I want to know if masturbating is fine in Hinduism and will it damage my spiritual relationship with God? And how do we resist the urges at night?

Please help me with this problem, like how you all did with my previous problem. Thank you for taking the time to read this post.
 

Vinayaka

devotee
Premium Member
It's not against the rules of Hinduism, yet isn't encouraged either. Everything in moderation as they say. Now if you were a monk under vows, that might be a different story. But you're not.

The guilt you're feeling doesn't come from Hinduism, but from other ideologies that have a huge thing against sexuality. Unfortunately some of those ideas have infiltrated our paradigm, and we have to deal with it, as per your question.

Let's compare it to the biological and scientific aspect of smoking cigarettes, and the addiction to nicotine. Medical science has proven that 3 strong hits of nicotine a day is enough to ward off the possible withdrawal effects of extreme craving. But people still smoke way more than that (once they're addicted). Why? There are many factors like something to do, nervousness, social situations, and more, but in reality they could 'survive' on 3 hits a day. So too with things like food. We can survive on a meal a day, or 5 meals a day. The point is we need it.

So, for sexuality, unless you have extraordinary will, or an extremely low sex drive, you need it, both psychologically, and physically. It's a natural drive, and the body, once accustomed to the fact, needs to release, just as in hot weather, the body needs to sweat, or a natural process in your ears -s cleaning them, or eyes need to have tears.

All this stuff varies by individual. Some folks sweat more than others, produce more saliva than others, etc. There is a fairly wide range on all these things, including sexuality.

So, my suggestion would be to control it in frequency, just as many married couples do. Almost all married folks practice some restraint. It's necessary when you're raising kids, when traveling, when separated, etc. Masturbation can be a useful tool for some in those situations as well.

The rate of frequency needed to keep nuttiness at bay is to be determined only by you. It may take some experimentation, but you'll figure it out. Then sticking to a schedule will help you feel in control.

And I would certainly avoid listening to people that have nothing else to say besides that it's bad. That would add to your guilt.

Best wishes.
 

ajay0

Well-Known Member
Hello all. It’s me again. For those who don’t know, I was the one who posted that I had a problem with pornography a couple of years back. I’m doing much better now and rarely watch it.

Although, I used to watch it, I never masturbated to it. Mainly because I was not sure how to do so.

Last month, I accidentally learnt how to masturbate after coming across an article in the internet. I decided to try it out one night, out of curiosity.

It felt really pleasant. However, I felt even more guilty for masturbating. I’m not sure why I felt guilty, but decided that I will not masturbate again.

Over the past few days, the urge to masturbate was getting stronger. And I only felt these urges at night when I’m about to sleep. I’m finding it really difficult to resist these urges as they’re getting stronger and stronger each night. Due to this, I masturbated again last night.

So I want to know if masturbating is fine in Hinduism and will it damage my spiritual relationship with God? And how do we resist the urges at night?

Please help me with this problem, like how you all did with my previous problem. Thank you for taking the time to read this post.

These urges are natural at this age due to influence of hormones.

Hinduism has recommended practice of celibacy for faster spiritual development as the sexual energy , through spiritual practice and austerity, is transformed into auspicious spiritual energy.

Even in eastern martial arts, celibacy is recommended for better physical and mental fitness. Celibacy was recommended and practiced by the Greeks too in the ancient Olympic Games.

You can find some quotes of Swami Vivekananda on celibacy in this link.

Swami Vivekananda's Quotes On Brahmacharya - VivekaVani

With respect to increasing self-discipline and self-restraint in this regard, you might find the following teachings in this link useful...

Sri Sri Ravishankar, Quotes on Brahmacharya
 

ajay0

Well-Known Member
Please help me with this problem, like how you all did with my previous problem. Thank you for taking the time to read this post.

I admire your courage and earnestness in posting your views here, and trying to gain a solution for it instead of pretending dishonestly . Hopefully this can help others too who are seeking similar solutions but are too shy to ask.
 

AHindu

New Member
@Vinayaka, thank you very much for your informative answer. I really appreciate your reply.

@Aupmanyav, I am geniunly sorry if my post has bothered you in any way. The reason I posted my reply here is because when I posted my previous problem here, you all not only gave me a solution but also gave me support— like how you did in my previous post a couple of years ago. I am forever grateful for your answer in my previous post, which I still remember to this day. Oh, and I would be Glad to see a psychiatrist once I have both the money and time to do so.☺️

@ajay0, Thank you very much for the links and your kind words. I have the courage to post here because of how valuable and honest all the other devotees’ replies are.

@Valjean, I’m honestly not sure. I read numerous articles before making my way here. One article says it’s fine, while the other says it’s not good to masturbate. There is no definitive answer, and that’s what troubles me.
 

Aupmanyav

Be your own guru
As I may have said in my previous posts, if you are on the right side of 40, get into some exercise regimen. pushups and situps - danda and baithak. You are wasting your time and mind. You could utilize it better.
 

Vinayaka

devotee
Premium Member
I admire your courage and earnestness in posting your views here, and trying to gain a solution for it instead of pretending dishonestly . Hopefully this can help others too who are seeking similar solutions but are too shy to ask.

I admire that too. When I taught sex ed, I had the policy of answering all questions to the best of my abilities. People have the right to know this stuff, and need balanced views. Anyone who hides it away in some closet of the mind as if it didn't exist is doing humanity a disservice. I most certainly wish I had somebody to explain stuff to me, in my youth.
 

Jainarayan

ॐ नमो भगवते वासुदेवाय
Staff member
Premium Member
So I want to know if masturbating is fine in Hinduism and will it damage my spiritual relationship with God? And how do we resist the urges at night?

When something takes center stage of your life and takes away from other duties, responsibilities, activities, pursuits, then I question how harmless or innocuous that activity is. When you'd rather sit inside your room pleasuring yourself, with or without porn, as a rule and excessively, rather than pursuing other activities, then I'd say there's a problem. I get it, you're a 16 year old male. Your body and mind are growing and racing wildly. You discovered something that, yeah, it feels damn good. The guilt you feel after finishing is a real phenomenon called post-coital tristesse. It's probably hormonal.

Echoing @Vinayaka, unless you've taken vows of some sort AND you're receiving the guidance of a spiritual teacher, trying to control something a 16 year old male body wants to do naturally is going to bring you to this point... unnecessary angst. Will it damage your spiritual relationship with God? I'm going to say no, it won't. God is above that sort of thing. The guilt is a legacy of western beliefs. Western religion has an extremely unhealthy relationship with, and outlook on sex. Don't dwell on it. If it happens, it happens. Clean up and move along.
 

Aupmanyav

Be your own guru
^^
"When something takes center stage of your life and takes away from other duties, responsibilities, activities, pursuits, then I question how harmless or innocuous that activity is."

I am an strong atheist Hindu, I am not worried about relationships with Gods and Goddesses. I talk of practical things. It is, as I said a waste of your time and mind. Engage in something better. There are so many things to do other than viewing porn.
 
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Vinayaka

devotee
Premium Member
^^
"When something takes center stage of your life and takes away from other duties, responsibilities, activities, pursuits, then I question how harmless or innocuous that activity is."

I am an strong atheist Hindu, I am not worried about relationships with Gods and Goddesses. I talk of practical things. It is, as I said a waste of your time and mind. Engage in something better. There are so many things to do other than viewing porn.
OP wasn't about viewing porn as he said he has that largely under control. 'Wasting time' comes in many forms.
 
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