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My mother called me a burden, recently.

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YeshuaRedeemed

YeshuaRedeemed

Revelation 3:10
I am autistic with some mental illnesses. I told my mother I feel like a burden because of my mental health issues, and instead of validating me, she said it is a burden, to which I responded: Don't expect me to take care of you, when you are old, you ****ing *****! I hate my mother. She apologized, but I don't trust her enough to believe her. People are not burdens.
 
exchemist

exchemist

Veteran Member
YeshuaRedeemed said:
I am autistic with some mental illnesses. I told my mother I feel like a burden because of my mental health issues, and instead of validating me, she said it is a burden, to which I responded: Don't expect me to take care of you, when you are old, you ****ing *****! I hate my mother. She apologized, but I don't trust her enough to believe her. People are not burdens.
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She didn't say you were a burden. She said "it" is a burden. I assume by "it" she meant your condition. That's undeniable. The problems you describe ARE a burden for a carer. There is no getting away from that.

But it is noteworthy that she was able to separate the condition - which is a burden - from you as a person, whom I have no doubt she loves, seeing as you are her child.

So you have got angry for nothing, and abused and hurt her. You should apologise to her, I think.
 
SalixIncendium

SalixIncendium

अग्निविलोवनन्दः
Staff member
Premium Member
I understand why you’re upset, but I can’t help but think you had a little responsibility in what she said.

You say people aren’t burdens. So why would you suggest that you feel you are a burden to her?

Yes, her agreeing with you is bad form, but there’s really no way to know that is the word she would have ever used to describe you had you not introduced it.
 
YeshuaRedeemed

YeshuaRedeemed

Revelation 3:10
exchemist said:
She didn't say you were a burden. She said "it" is a burden. I assume by "it" she meant your condition. That's undeniable. The problems you describe ARE a burden for a carer. There is no getting away from that.

But it is noteworthy that she was able to separate the condition - which is a burden - from you as a person, whom I have no doubt she loves, seeing as you are her child.

So you have got angry for nothing, and abused and hurt her. You should apologise to her, I think.
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Yes she did, and she had no right to say what she said. Blocked.
 
Nakosis

Nakosis

Non-Binary Physicalist
Premium Member
YeshuaRedeemed said:
I am autistic with some mental illnesses. I told my mother I feel like a burden because of my mental health issues, and instead of validating me, she said it is a burden, to which I responded: Don't expect me to take care of you, when you are old, you ****ing *****! I hate my mother. She apologized, but I don't trust her enough to believe her. People are not burdens.
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Sorry, but you are a burden. Even without the mental illness and autism children are a burden. You want to get mad at your mother for being honest?

Boy was I ever a burden to my mom. She was raped by my father. Still I suppose she felt life was precious enough to give birth to me and try her best to raise me. She put up with me, provided a home at least until her and my stepfather abandoned me. I don't blame her for leaving me. I suspect I was a constant reminder of her abuse at the hands of men.

My mother never hugged me, never told me she loved me. However she fed, clothed, housed me. Didn't have to so I respect her for that. Kids never understand the burden they are to their parents until they become parents themselves.

I wouldn't take it personally, we all start out as burdens. That just the reality of life. I'm grateful my mother put up with me for as long as she did. She didn't have to.
 
YeshuaRedeemed

YeshuaRedeemed

Revelation 3:10
exchemist said:
She didn't say you were a burden. She said "it" is a burden. I assume by "it" she meant your condition. That's undeniable. The problems you describe ARE a burden for a carer. There is no getting away from that.

But it is noteworthy that she was able to separate the condition - which is a burden - from you as a person, whom I have no doubt she loves, seeing as you are her child.

So you have got angry for nothing, and abused and hurt her. You should apologise to her, I think.
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It is not a burden, and she had no right to say that. I am a goddam person, not a condition. Reported.
 
YeshuaRedeemed

YeshuaRedeemed

Revelation 3:10
SalixIncendium said:
I understand why you’re upset, but I can’t help but think you had a little responsibility in what she said.

You say people aren’t burdens. So why would you suggest that you feel you are a burden to her?

Yes, her agreeing with you is bad form, but there’s really no way to know that is the word she would have ever used to describe you had you not introduced it.
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There is no excuse for hate speech. If my condition is such a burden, I should commit suicide.
 
YeshuaRedeemed

YeshuaRedeemed

Revelation 3:10
Nakosis said:
Sorry, but you are a burden. Even without the mental illness and autism children are a burden. You want to get mad at your mother for being honest?

Boy was I ever a burden to my mom. She was raped by my father. Still I suppose she felt life was precious enough to give birth to me and try her best to raise me. She put up with me, provided a home at least until her and my stepfather abandoned me. I don't blame her for leaving me. I suspect I was a constant reminder of her abuse at the hands of men.

My mother never hugged me, never told me she loved me. However she fed, clothed, housed me. Didn't have to so I respect her for that. Kids never understand the burden they are to their parents until they become parents themselves.

I wouldn't take it personally, we all start out as burdens. That just the reality of life. I'm grateful my mother put up with me for as long as she did. She didn't have to.
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You don't have the right to say that. Reported.
 
E

Earthtank

Active Member
YeshuaRedeemed said:
I am autistic with some mental illnesses. I told my mother I feel like a burden because of my mental health issues, and instead of validating me, she said it is a burden, to which I responded: Don't expect me to take care of you, when you are old, you ****ing *****! I hate my mother. She apologized, but I don't trust her enough to believe her. People are not burdens.
Click to expand...
That's pretty short sighted and f'd up of you to be honest and for obvious reasons. I hope i do not have to spell out why and you'll actually be appreciative of the time and effort she has put in with your ungrateful self and cut her some slack instead of being a spoiled brat that can't put up with a few words, which is NOTHING compared to what she had done for you.

Edit to add: I just noticed it says you are Christian, so, what happened to being nice, loving, respectful to others and all that Jesus talk now?
 
exchemist

exchemist

Veteran Member
SalixIncendium said:
Sweets, you suggested you are a burden. Your mother simply repeated it.
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Not even that, actually.

She was probably trying to find a way to agree with this person - to avoid a tirade of abuse, perhaps? - while actually distinguishing the condition from the person. This is probably what she has to do to preserve her own state of mind and retain her love for her child in spite of everything.
 
YeshuaRedeemed

YeshuaRedeemed

Revelation 3:10
SalixIncendium said:
Sweets, you suggested you are a burden. Your mother simply repeated it.
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You don't have the right to victim place. I am so goddam tired of religicrites defending abuse. I am a goddam person, not a goddam condition. If she says it again, I will file an abuse complaint. I only said what I said because she treats me like a burden. My mother is abusive, and you are defending her. I am just going to take the pills, and go to Heaven.
 
YeshuaRedeemed

YeshuaRedeemed

Revelation 3:10
Earthtank said:
That's pretty short sighted and f'd up of you to be honest and for obvious reasons. I hope i do not have to spell out why and you'll actually be appreciative of the time and effort she has put in with your ungrateful self and cut her some slack instead of being a spoiled brat that can't put up with a few words, which is NOTHING compared to what she had done for you.

Edit to add: I just noticed it says you are Christian, so, what happened to being nice, loving, respectful to others and all that Jesus talk now?
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You don't have the right to defend the abuse of autistic people. YOU my dear are effed up. Ignore!
 
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