Skwim
Veteran Member
Why would you feel insulted; Just because I pointed out your error and hopefully steered others away from it?
In any case, bring me something to laugh at and there's a very good chance I'll Laugh. Thing is, your question is nowhere close to winning the "Henny Youngman, Take My Wife, Please!" cupcake.
Speaking of which:
My neighbor's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.
Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She said, "Somewhere I have never been!" I told her, "How about the kitchen?"
My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
My wife: She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" "No, jump in!"
God sneezed. I didn't know what to say to him!
I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed Dolly Parton was my mother and I was a bottle baby.
A guy says, "I'm so old that I forgot how old I am." An old woman says, "I'll tell you how old you are. Take off your clothes and bend over." The man does this. The woman says, "You're seventy four." The man says, "How can you tell?" The woman says, "You told me yesterday."
A man goes to a psychiatrist. The doctor says, "You're crazy" The man says, "I want a second opinion!" "Okay, you're ugly too!"
The Doctor says, "You'll live to be 60!" "I AM 60!" "See, what did I tell you?"
A bum asked me, "Give me $10 till payday." I asked, "When's payday?" He said, "I don't know, you're the one who is working!"
,
Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She said, "Somewhere I have never been!" I told her, "How about the kitchen?"
My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
My wife: She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" "No, jump in!"
God sneezed. I didn't know what to say to him!
I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed Dolly Parton was my mother and I was a bottle baby.
A guy says, "I'm so old that I forgot how old I am." An old woman says, "I'll tell you how old you are. Take off your clothes and bend over." The man does this. The woman says, "You're seventy four." The man says, "How can you tell?" The woman says, "You told me yesterday."
A man goes to a psychiatrist. The doctor says, "You're crazy" The man says, "I want a second opinion!" "Okay, you're ugly too!"
The Doctor says, "You'll live to be 60!" "I AM 60!" "See, what did I tell you?"
A bum asked me, "Give me $10 till payday." I asked, "When's payday?" He said, "I don't know, you're the one who is working!"
,
Last edited:
