I have a date

Wish me luck. Yea I know, Is aid because of my addiction I was not going to date . However I do have a year of sobriety. 13 months.

I also said if ir were platonic it would be ok. We started out talking platonic. But with Christmas coming up I dont know. We were talking last night that it maybe ok to kiss hold hands and hug, make out.

I think making out will still be ok as long as its not sexual, then I will still be on my program.But it maybe questionable to my sponsor but its my program in the end. Its just really hard right now. I have nothing to do int he daytime and I am so lonely.

Anyways, meta guy online, not a scam artist because we are suppose to meet this weekend, probably tomorrow. Hes an older man.I suppose I should put this up in sex section because he is 63 11 years older then me. I don't' believe hes obese from his picture, he maybe over weight.

Older men sometimes are attracted to me because I look a lot younger and they are willing to deal with my obesity.But most men are sexist, so it is sexist, but I am willing to deal with the sexism as long as its not coming from a guy who weighs 450 pounds. The weight thing drives me crazy.

But He looks alright to me, I like him, I think hes attractive anyways, seems to be happy about meeting me. He said the first night I spoke to him , I have a date next week with another guy, he said he wanted to see me this weekend first so he could grab me before the other guy got me, Thought that was cute.

I guess I will have to put this under sex because I already gave him permission to see other women. But I would doubt hell find anyone but who knows. I already told him if he does the poly thing hes alone, I can not will not help him, or go to swingers parties or anything of the like.

But how can i ask a guy to be true to me when I cant commit to a relationship now? Were just gonna be friends for while a long time at first.

As long as he leaves me out of any of that I don't mind.

I do NOT WANT to be alone this Christmas, neither one of us do. Well probably find a motel and go makeout..............................YAY ME!

Wish me luck hopfully he wont stand me up, I was stood up on my last date,

Riders said:

Wish me luck hopfully he wont stand me up, I was stood up on my last date,

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Here's wishing you luck,be careful/cautious but enjoy.

just be as honest as you can

icehorse said:

just be as honest as you can

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Well I can not tell him I am a sex addict. That could put me in danger. But I did tell him this. I said my Mom was in Alcoholics ANonymous for 34 years and I go to Adult Child of ALcoholics meetings for emotional problems. I told him Im about to start counseling for mental health issues and I am bipolar and because of my mental health issues I can not date seriously right now.

But we plan on being friends. Its hard because some people would run away at first by knowing I'm mentally ill, but I am not hiding that from him. If porn comes into play, like if he suggests we watch it Imay have to tell him I ahve a problem with it. But he can watch it on his own all he wants.

I did tell him this. I said he could see whomever he wants sleep with whomever he wants. But I said my other boyfriend use to try and take me to swingers parties and set me up so he could trade me off and get different partners,poly lifestyle did not work for me I hated it so. So if he wants to do that hes free to but hes on his own, I can't set him up with anyone nor will I have anything to do with Poly and swingers parties. Hes on his own with that.

Suggestion: If he shows up wearing a MAGA hat, don't talk politics.

Good luck. I hope the date goes well.

Good luck

joe1776 said:

Suggestion: If he shows up wearing a MAGA hat, don't talk politics.

Good luck. I hope the date goes well.

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LOL hes liberal. I have had sex with conservative Christians before. But those were just men I ahd sex with once. They wern't interested in anything long term.When I told him Robert use to take me tot he UU church eh said he needed religion LOL. He really just wanted to compete with Robert hes not really interested in UU.

However, when we were talking about women I mentioned I liked looking at women but I'm not bisexual, he said there;s nothing wrong with that and nothing wrong with being bisexual.So considering that and the fact that we spoked about the poly lifestyle, he is at least liberal concerning sexuality. So I'm pretty sure he's not a Trumper but I could be wrong but I don't think so.

I don't know what his real religion is, he could be Christian but as long as hes liberal I don't care.

Riders said:

Wish me luck hopfully he wont stand me up, I was stood up on my last date,

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Best of luck, dont do anything you dont want to do but most of all, enjoy yourself

Good luck Riders.

Don't panic, take things as they come, be honest -- and be true to yourself.

Good luck and have fun

To be truthful, I'm worried about you. While I do not feel comfortable wishing you luck, I do wish you peace and the wisdom to make good decisions.

Jayhawker Soule said:

To be truthful, I'm worried about you. While I do not feel comfortable wishing you luck, I do wish you peace and the wisdom to make good decisions.

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If it becomes sexual it will be dangerous but we will see.

So Ive been stood up again but its my fault. I told him all about my psychiatric past and even some about being in psych wards as a young person. AS my sponsor said it was way too much and I ran him off.

I'm not completely sold though that that's what ran him off. He seemed ok with it int he beginning.But I made a bigger mistake I told him we should no strings attached he can see whomever he wants. So the polyamory topic came into it. I don't know why i feel the need to bring it up,

I guess I just feel like everyone should have their cards on the table. I just wanted him to know I did not expect him to stay true to me because this was just a friendship. I told him he could be the king of road. He could go otu do what he wanted. But thats pretty far out there so I should not bring it up.

I should have just said this is a no string attached situation and left it. But sense poly came into it got prettys exual for him but not for me fast. He was in a fantasy word, started pressuring me to introduce him to my friends so he could have several women.

I actually told him too
about Robert some which was also a mistake but I said Robert wanted me to hook him up with women and go to swingers parties with him but its not my thing and I can not be responsible for you or anyone being hooked up with other women.

But he did not get that message. He started pressuring me anyways to introduce him to my one and only friend Julie who is psychotic and has had time sin the past where a guy put a order of protection against her and she was obsessed with men.

I should not have brought up Julie at all, but i really don't have many girl friends. I do in AA but noone who would want to meet him. He wanted the fantasy 2 girls at once.

So the whole thing is men can not handle hearing about Polyamory unless they are in the lifestyle themselves already.

It becomes too sexual, and it became very sexual for him so I ruined it.

So I have another date this week. I also put another ad up for Poly guyfriend. I have another 60 year old guy friend.

So no more talking about my psychiatric past, or my bipolar diagnosis or Julie and mostly no talking about polyamory. Ill just say no strings attached this is just friendship.

I am learning, I learn as I go. It'll get better.

I'm sorry you got stood up, Riders, but really, all things considered, sounds to me like you dodged a bullet.

Saying that considering what you've told us about the guy, I'd say no huge loss there.

Thanks.

So the whole Craigslist was even more of a disaster in some ways today.But I did get a penpal out of it.

Hopefully maybe we can meet and be friends in person eventually. We will see.

But todays date I had with a guy, he was drunk wasn't gonna show unless I had sex with him.I said no. I think hes an alcoholic was drinking a lot yesterday too.

Another guy was bisexual. He got me really comfortable with him. I thought we were gonna hang out with him and his gay guy friends boyfriends, it would be cool.

At first that's what he said. Then I started telling him more about me , i opened up, he was easy to talk to and told him stuff about me. Then he started talking about kinky stuff. I said I would watch 50 shades of grey with him but thats as far as I could go nothing else.

But I told him I had mental health issues. I was open with him that was very dangerous. He us a very cute guy who is 56 and owns 3 businesses and has money.

He started trying to talk me into kinky stuff and put a boundary up with me,he said hed take me for long weekends, take me gambling, be my boyfriend or my father whatever I needed as long as I would be his sweet submissive slave. That's a sick deal, because I have mental health issues, he probably saw right through me figured he could manipulate me and he did, figured id be helpless and liked my young voice and youthfulness, its a sicko thing, dom male, wanted to be my daddy.

I know I know that there are BDSM folks here at Religious debate, I know they're not all bad. Not everyone is manipulative and preys on mentally ill women. They're not all predators some are good,but I think this guy is a bad guy and would abuse me bad,

My sisters mad because Ive been on craigslist and run into this guy who is probably a predator. Its scary to me, its very scary, he is very very cute and seductive and manipulative and probably has money.............

But I'm just gonna focus on my new penpal and not worry about him.

He said Ill be your daddy or your boyfriend whatever you need me to be if you'll be my sex slave.......to me it would seem something a daddy dom would say but what do I know? I feel very seduced by him,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,he wanted to control me abuse me tie me up all sorts of things.................hes very seductive...............