Yaweh as Borg?

I recently tried to be in a sort of Gnostic, no-church, Christianity, because I feel Jesus and Mary are insisting to help me. Just a constant feeling and signs, nothing I can demonstrate... but anyway.

The problem is, everytime I try to be with them, I feel the Creator of this World tries to take over my mind to make me obedient to his will. He tried once in the shape of an eagle while I was in Shamanism, in a trance. He politely asked if I let him modify my mind so I am more obedient to him. I was surprised, said no and he got in a rage, telling me I was too much of a rebel, etc. and I woke up.

The Eagle later guided me to Nichiren Buddhism, but I got almost no results on that path.

Also in three dreams; two of them in the shape of the famous Bearded Old Man and one as a talking Eye in the Triangle, he told me the path of Christianity was to become an angel or a saint, but as I want to be free, I should be in Satanism or any other path. He trusts my intention is not to hurt innocent people, so I could be in any path anyway.

Whenever I put the Bearded guy on my altar or the Eye in the Triangle, I have to remove those symbols in less than 2 days, because I end up feeling an overwhelming energy that starts as a healing, loving feeling and then it's like someone wants to take over my mind and I have to fight it all the time. I don't know if I could describe it as a posession, "mind rape", etc. I'm even scared to remember it.

Did you guys ever feel the same when you call the Father? Is it that the Demiurge comes and interferes? I fear maybe it's the real Father that it's like Borg.

I've never felt that with the Holy Spirit. But I did with an image of adult Jesus, once. Which leads me to suspect if Father and Son are the same one. Or I simply got more light from Jesus than I was ready to receive.

Anyway (If I didn't get the messages wrongly) Jesus suggested me to be with him as a Gnostic; since I didn't like traditional Christianity. Bad feelings with him stopped when I put a sign "Gnosis" on my altar. But they come back anyway if I put the image of the Bearded guy. Seems Jesus behaves differently if he's in "Gnostic mode".

So what image or symbol would you put of Jesus's Father on your altar?

Maybe the problem is the "Our Father" prayer that says "Thy will be done". If His will is done, my will is not!

Heck, this is too complicated! Maybe I should stay in Taoism. Worse that can happen is having to study some Chinese. But I still wonder what Jesus and Mary would do to help me.

Wiktionary explains the concept of Borg this way:

Borg...
From the Star Trek franchise, in which the Borg are a cyborg race intent on converting all other life into their own kind; apparently a clipping of cyborg, from cybernetic + organism.
Borg - Wiktionary

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One issue comes up is that you write:
"So what image or symbol would you put of Jesus's Father on your altar?"
The classic Eastern Orthodox response is that God the Father is not depicted in religious Church artwork. The EOs aren't supposed to have an image of God the Father over their altars, and I imagine that the earl Christians didn't either.

I imagine that the Gnostic Christians like Cerinthus and the Ebionites who identified as Christ's followers in the 1st Century didn't have images of God the Father either, because for instance Cerinthus and the Ebionites generally adhered to the Torah, which forbade depictions of God. The Carpocratians and some other early Christian Gnostics like Marcion didn't follow the Torah, but I am still inclined to think that they didn't depict God the Father, because I imagine that there was major crossover in their art between them and the Christians. The Carpocratians had an image or sculpture of Jesus, but I haven't heard of early Gnostic Christians having artwork showing God the Father.

The solution at the time was to repeat 3 times "Respect my free will". Anyway now I'm just with the Buddha as a symbol of my true self.

OK. It looks like there is not much activity on the Gnosticism section.

Buddhism seems to me like really a group within Hinduism, or a version of Hinduism. Hinduism seems to refer to the religions from India, including the various sects, and the Buddha was from India and had a sect of his own. Alot of the teachings are the same like reincarnation and meditation. One of the differences seems to be that Hinduism emphasizes gods (although maybe some Hindu sects don't), whereas Buddhism seems to believe in different spirits, although there seems to be a version of Buddhism that sees the spirits as gods.

Rakovsky said:

OK. It looks like there is not much activity on the Gnosticism section.

Buddhism seems to me like really a group within Hinduism, or a version of Hinduism. Hinduism seems to refer to the religions from India, including the various sects, and the Buddha was from India and had a sect of his own. Alot of the teachings are the same like reincarnation and meditation. One of the differences seems to be that Hinduism emphasizes gods (although maybe some Hindu sects don't), whereas Buddhism seems to believe in different spirits, although there seems to be a version of Buddhism that sees the spirits as gods.

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You may worship Hindu gods or bodhisattvas in Buddhism, but it's not mandatory. The idea of my path now is recurring only to my true self, although it's damn difficult. I don't know if some god is blocking me, or if it's just my mind or both.

agorman said:

The idea of my path now is recurring only to my true self, although it's damn difficult. I don't know if some god is blocking me, or if it's just my mind or both.

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I wish you well with your spirituality.

Out of concern for your difficulty, I want to let you know that maybe the Buddhist idea, approach, and goal for its meditation is not really mentally healthy. There is a lot of skepticism about it in East Orthodoxy, to say the least.
It's not that meditation is bad, but rather since the meditation is not based on God, the Creator and Father of Everything, Eastern Orthodoxy is concerned about the Buddhist system.
If you feel that what you are doing is d--n difficult and feel that something is blocking you, maybe you are having a tough time and should try something lighter and easier and simpler and make a simpler goal for yourself, something easy to understand that makes sense.

Let me give you an example. I had a friend who in school had to stare at a dot as punishment sometimes, for maybe 45 minutes at a time. He hated it. I am thinking that maybe the idea of the punishment was based on Buddhist meditation of staring at a point. The point that I want to make is that if something like that is not working for you, try something simple like a prayer that makes sense, or reading a simple spiritual book like the Psalms. There is good meditation in the Psalms.

Peace.