How Would You Handle This?

SalixIncendium · Oct 20, 2019

exchemist said:
To a Brit, suspenders are what women use to hold up stockings (the sort that are not hold-ups.)

I think Americans call those garter belts.

exchemist · Oct 20, 2019

SalixIncendium said:
I think Americans call those garter belts.

Yes that's right! So they do - I had forgotten. Anyway, it is but a theoretical now, for me. The last woman I knew well enough to know she wore one was in 1986!

There was a girl at the rowing club who used to refer to the ensemble as her "tackle" , rather as if it was equipment, for fishing or something.

Terry Sampson · Oct 20, 2019

exchemist said:
We call the things that stop your trousers falling down "braces".

So, ... American "put your suspenders on" translates to Brit "brace yourself" ?

SalixIncendium · Oct 20, 2019

Father Heathen · Oct 20, 2019

exchemist said:
We call the things that stop your trousers falling down "braces".

Here, braces are a dental device that keep teeth strait.

Father Heathen · Oct 20, 2019

Father Heathen said:
You'll catch up some day.

We do have some, but I'd like to think that over-all we're not.

shmogie · Oct 20, 2019

SalixIncendium said:
Yes, I know the title says absolutely nothing about the thread topic, and that's because I couldn't think of an appropriate title.

So I step out for some breakfast this morning and open my garage door to get into my car. I see a note taped to the windshield. At first I assume that I'm finally busted for parking in the middle of a two-car garage and the landlord is telling me to get my stuff over to my side.

But upon opening the letter, it's from a neighbor who parks her car in the next two-car unit. I've chatted with her in passing when we arrived home from work at the same time, but know nothing about her other than the fact that she lives in my complex, drives a gray Camry, and works at a government job. The letter is essentially asking me out, suggesting we get to know each other better, saying she wants to be my friend, checking to see if I'm still single and available, etc.

While I'm sure she's a lovely lady, this is a complication in my life that I neither want nor have time for (well, the latter isn't entirely true, I could probably make time). I love my life as it is, and have no desire to start a new relationship. As a friend to hang out with from time to time...maybe...but we know nothing about each other and she clearly wants more than to just be friends.

I really don't like to disappoint people, but I know I have to take some action here. So my question to you is this. How do I tell her that this is something I don't want in my life without leaving her feeling disappointed?

Why don´t you go out with her ? If there is no chemistry, she will know it and that will be the end of it. On the other hand, you might find something new and exciting to make your life better.

Take a little risk, as I recall, it is fun !

Augustus · Oct 20, 2019

exchemist said:
There was a girl at the rowing club who used to refer to the ensemble as her "tackle" , rather as if it was equipment, for fishing or something.

I always thought a tackle was analogous to a johnson, schlong or tally whacker. :shrug:

shmogie · Oct 20, 2019

exchemist said:
This conversation doesn't cross the Atlantic very well. To a Brit, suspenders are what women use to hold up stockings (the sort that are not hold-ups.)

We call the things that stop your trousers falling down "braces".

I had a Brit working for me once who did safety training. While doing a training session with a group of nurses, he told them to keep their peckers up, and called one a pretty twat or something like that with twat.

Gads ! What a mess. He almost cried when I told him what he had said in American.

England my lionheart · Oct 20, 2019

SalixIncendium said:
Yes, I know the title says absolutely nothing about the thread topic, and that's because I couldn't think of an appropriate title.

So I step out for some breakfast this morning and open my garage door to get into my car. I see a note taped to the windshield. At first I assume that I'm finally busted for parking in the middle of a two-car garage and the landlord is telling me to get my stuff over to my side.

But upon opening the letter, it's from a neighbor who parks her car in the next two-car unit. I've chatted with her in passing when we arrived home from work at the same time, but know nothing about her other than the fact that she lives in my complex, drives a gray Camry, and works at a government job. The letter is essentially asking me out, suggesting we get to know each other better, saying she wants to be my friend, checking to see if I'm still single and available, etc.

While I'm sure she's a lovely lady, this is a complication in my life that I neither want nor have time for (well, the latter isn't entirely true, I could probably make time). I love my life as it is, and have no desire to start a new relationship. As a friend to hang out with from time to time...maybe...but we know nothing about each other and she clearly wants more than to just be friends.

I really don't like to disappoint people, but I know I have to take some action here. So my question to you is this. How do I tell her that this is something I don't want in my life without leaving her feeling disappointed?

Honesty is the best policy but so is see how it goes,nothing wrong with "suck it and see", actually that sounds awful but I hope you get my meaning,who knows,it might be fun.

LuisDantas · Oct 20, 2019

(This thread makes Americans sound so much more violent than the British...)

@SalixIncendium - Just tell her directly. She will accept it or she will not, and you will have done what you could.

And yes, she just might surprise you in a nice way.

Also, do you think that she may have assumed that you know what her apartment is? You seem to be certain about her car, after all.

j1i · Oct 20, 2019

SalixIncendium said:
Yes, I know the title says absolutely nothing about the thread topic, and that's because I couldn't think of an appropriate title.

So I step out for some breakfast this morning and open my garage door to get into my car. I see a note taped to the windshield. At first I assume that I'm finally busted for parking in the middle of a two-car garage and the landlord is telling me to get my stuff over to my side.

But upon opening the letter, it's from a neighbor who parks her car in the next two-car unit. I've chatted with her in passing when we arrived home from work at the same time, but know nothing about her other than the fact that she lives in my complex, drives a gray Camry, and works at a government job. The letter is essentially asking me out, suggesting we get to know each other better, saying she wants to be my friend, checking to see if I'm still single and available, etc.

While I'm sure she's a lovely lady, this is a complication in my life that I neither want nor have time for (well, the latter isn't entirely true, I could probably make time). I love my life as it is, and have no desire to start a new relationship. As a friend to hang out with from time to time...maybe...but we know nothing about each other and she clearly wants more than to just be friends.

I really don't like to disappoint people, but I know I have to take some action here. So my question to you is this. How do I tell her that this is something I don't want in my life without leaving her feeling disappointed?

Simply take into account her feelings and thoughts but professionally and with utmost care and intelligence

From the beginning, lay the foundations on which your friendship will be built
You tell her you're busy with a lot of commitments and you're not getting the slightest comfort (feel like you're exhausted because of the busy schedule)
And you wish her good, but do not spare time to mix many but surface (little)

Some if he catch your rope will never let you escape until after suffering and cruelty

If she understand your circumstances and go along with it is a suitable friend
If she deal selfish and notice that they are trying to capture your normal life, kindly ignore it

In the end if things were all positive
Your success or level of luck depends on your good deeds
Pay much attention to the feelings of others and your humanty activity and always do good

There is a story about someone who had three gold pieces he inherited from his father
A wise man passed by and said if you gave me the three gold coins
I'll give you three tips that will benefit you in your life
He gave him three gold pieces
He got three tips
The first saved him from certain death
The second and third helped him to marry the king's daughter

In the Islamic religion
The strongest thing that gives you luck is faith in God correctly

Thank you

take care

Quagmire · Oct 20, 2019

Polymath257 said:
You can write a note back and say that you are not currently looking for anything more than a friendship. Thank her for her note and say you are honored.

PS: Please don't break my windshield.

Quagmire · Oct 20, 2019

Good luck, Scott. There's no easy way to say or hear no.

SalixIncendium · Oct 20, 2019

shmogie said:
Why don´t you go out with her ?

For the reasons I mentioned in the fourth paragraph of the OP.

SalixIncendium · Oct 20, 2019

LuisDantas said:
Also, do you think that she may have assumed that you know what her apartment is? You seem to be certain about her car, after all.

I don’t think so. We had spoken at the garages and the garages are detached from the apartment buildings, so unless I was being stalkerish following her from the garage to her apartment, I wouldn’t know.

ChristineM · Oct 20, 2019

SalixIncendium said:
Yes, I know the title says absolutely nothing about the thread topic, and that's because I couldn't think of an appropriate title.

So I step out for some breakfast this morning and open my garage door to get into my car. I see a note taped to the windshield. At first I assume that I'm finally busted for parking in the middle of a two-car garage and the landlord is telling me to get my stuff over to my side.

But upon opening the letter, it's from a neighbor who parks her car in the next two-car unit. I've chatted with her in passing when we arrived home from work at the same time, but know nothing about her other than the fact that she lives in my complex, drives a gray Camry, and works at a government job. The letter is essentially asking me out, suggesting we get to know each other better, saying she wants to be my friend, checking to see if I'm still single and available, etc.

While I'm sure she's a lovely lady, this is a complication in my life that I neither want nor have time for (well, the latter isn't entirely true, I could probably make time). I love my life as it is, and have no desire to start a new relationship. As a friend to hang out with from time to time...maybe...but we know nothing about each other and she clearly wants more than to just be friends.

I really don't like to disappoint people, but I know I have to take some action here. So my question to you is this. How do I tell her that this is something I don't want in my life without leaving her feeling disappointed?

I think many singles would think all their Christmases have come at once. But if its not for you then just be straight and honest.

Nothing wrong with friendship though

PoetPhilosopher · Oct 20, 2019

SalixIncendium said:
How do I tell her that this is something I don't want in my life without leaving her feeling disappointed?

I don't know. I don't really have that problem. When faced with such a decision, I ask for a one-night stand with a strong potential for a relationship, and never hear from anyone again.

Salvador · Oct 20, 2019

SalixIncendium said:
Yes, I know the title says absolutely nothing about the thread topic, and that's because I couldn't think of an appropriate title.

So I step out for some breakfast this morning and open my garage door to get into my car. I see a note taped to the windshield. At first I assume that I'm finally busted for parking in the middle of a two-car garage and the landlord is telling me to get my stuff over to my side.

But upon opening the letter, it's from a neighbor who parks her car in the next two-car unit. I've chatted with her in passing when we arrived home from work at the same time, but know nothing about her other than the fact that she lives in my complex, drives a gray Camry, and works at a government job. The letter is essentially asking me out, suggesting we get to know each other better, saying she wants to be my friend, checking to see if I'm still single and available, etc.

While I'm sure she's a lovely lady, this is a complication in my life that I neither want nor have time for (well, the latter isn't entirely true, I could probably make time). I love my life as it is, and have no desire to start a new relationship. As a friend to hang out with from time to time...maybe...but we know nothing about each other and she clearly wants more than to just be friends.

I really don't like to disappoint people, but I know I have to take some action here. So my question to you is this. How do I tell her that this is something I don't want in my life without leaving her feeling disappointed?

Since you're a single young heterosexual person and you're sure she's a lovely lady, then she might actually be somebody in whom you'd intimately enjoy. I suppose if you were to spend less time online, then you could make time in getting to know her better.

PureX · Oct 20, 2019

SalixIncendium said:
Yes, I know the title says absolutely nothing about the thread topic, and that's because I couldn't think of an appropriate title.

So I step out for some breakfast this morning and open my garage door to get into my car. I see a note taped to the windshield. At first I assume that I'm finally busted for parking in the middle of a two-car garage and the landlord is telling me to get my stuff over to my side.

But upon opening the letter, it's from a neighbor who parks her car in the next two-car unit. I've chatted with her in passing when we arrived home from work at the same time, but know nothing about her other than the fact that she lives in my complex, drives a gray Camry, and works at a government job. The letter is essentially asking me out, suggesting we get to know each other better, saying she wants to be my friend, checking to see if I'm still single and available, etc.

While I'm sure she's a lovely lady, this is a complication in my life that I neither want nor have time for (well, the latter isn't entirely true, I could probably make time). I love my life as it is, and have no desire to start a new relationship. As a friend to hang out with from time to time...maybe...but we know nothing about each other and she clearly wants more than to just be friends.

I really don't like to disappoint people, but I know I have to take some action here. So my question to you is this. How do I tell her that this is something I don't want in my life without leaving her feeling disappointed?

I think you should give life a chance to give you a new and unexpected gift. Maybe that's not what will result, but maybe it is. And you won't know unless you open your mind and heart and accept the possibility.

How Would You Handle This?

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