I started when I was young and every time I tried to make a song it would come out dark, creepy messed up. I was doing for my own selfish reasons trying to make money or the new best song. Hated it because I dont like evil.
When we create music it comes from something inside of us. Perhaps as you saw an aspect of yourself you preferred to repress in your consciousness, emerge into an expressed form, it troubled you that this was inside of you. It frightened you because you thought you had denied it enough that it was not part of you. But this is reality. We all have those darker voices inside of us.
The greatest art is usually born from a place of spiritual anguish. Rather then being afraid of it, or calling it "evil" or "creepy", and running to hide from it, you may wish to acknowledge its face in you and come to peaceable terms with it through self-acceptance. I would suggest for you you might benefit from talking with a therapist.
And BTW, most people when learning music will have the ego get all excited about the recognition that fame and fortune may bring to it. It's not that there's not also a genuine love of music, but an immature ego likes to get in there and have a little fun for itself fantasizing of the glorious recognition it will get. That gradually becomes unimportant as the ego matures and realizes it's not about itself that this is for, that "art for art's sake" is what really matters, as opposed to "art for entertainment".
Then I noticed when I went from say worshipping jesus in song and then switching to creating my own song I would turn into something else.
Both of these are within you. You have your personal "darkness" as well as "light" and hope and joy and vision. This interaction is what makes the expression of these deep senses within ourselves what they are. If you repress and deny the darkness, you actually feed it and make it stronger. If you wish to have only lollipops and rainbows, feeling good, good, good, all the time, you are empowering that darkness through your fear of it, and soon enough it becomes the devil to you, seeking your destruction.
On the other hand, if you acknowledge and face that which frightens you in you, without fear, then that demon will be seen more like a wounded puppy dog that was only growling and showing its fangs because it felt abandoned and afraid. Once you show it love, now it is no longer a threat and you can have a healthy relationship with that messy little pooch you'd thrown out in the allyway when you were younger and it seemed a good idea at the time.
Now all of a sudden, that energy you had expended into protecting yourself from your "devil" will be directed to doing good in your life, and your music will become truly real.
Music is a fantastic vehicle for exploring our inner landscapes. We have a lot of different energies within us, and rather than branding some as "evil", which makes them evil, use that same energy to serve good. Otherwise, it's just rage.
The way I felt would change and I would change and the song would turn out how i didn't want it to.... opposite of light. I tried and tried to make a happy pleasent song but it never turned out that way always dark.
What I hear you saying is that you didn't like that that voice in you was coming out. But guess what? Think of it this way. As you were trying to be happy, God helped you by bringing up things in yourself to face that stand in your way of happiness. You were in essense saying "I want to be happy", and your subconsious mind said, "Alright, then it's time for you to start here facing your own inner demons".
So rather than trying to escape them, rather than using the pursuit of God as a spiritual bypassing of doing the dirty work of self-inventory, use God as the strength to face yourself, to learn to accept yourself, to love yourself, to forgive yourself, and to live free from the fear of the devil you created.
Then finally i renounced music if I couldn't make it the way wanted it to I wouldn't make it at all. then just yesterday I decided to worship jesus with my music. I did finally did what I wanted it to do for years turn out happy and good.
Great, but don't imagine your work is done yet. It'll be there right alongside everything else, and even become stronger the more you try to repress and deny it, pleading with God to make it go away so you don't have to face it.
Came to me right away that I suppose to worship God with it not use for my own selfish reasons.
When we express our art for the sake of God or Beauty, "art for art's sake", or love for love's sake alone, then authencity shines through, and the music becomes an expression of the divine in its most freest forms.
Music becomes a great litmus test for us as to where our focus is. I can always feel the performance drops down when the focus is off the music for its sake alone, to thinking about how others judge me as a musician, either worried about things, or imagining how good they must think I am. This is natural for the human ego to want to find good bits to feed upon, "look at me! I'm special, aren't I?".
But when you recognize it, and understand it like an immature child wanting attention, and that you don't need to do that anymore because your fulfilment comes through expressing music genuinely through it, then you just acknowledge it, pat it gently on the top of its head and say, "we don't need that here", then it will learn to take your lead and not pester you with its distractions as you are busy pursuing expressing Truth.