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Your idea of heaven?

Kilk1

Member
If a heaven actually exists what you is your idea of what it would be like?

I wrote this a few years ago.

Heaven


St Peter was showing a bunch of new recruits the delights of heaven. There were things to suit all tastes, even a gay bar. Most popular were the wine tasting sessions, which Jesus had set up, he was particularly proud of his Chateau Heaven vintage, being of course an expert in viticulture.


A carriage, pulled by eight white horses, stopped beside the group, and out got the most beautiful woman they had ever seen. St Peter bowed low and introduced her, "This is God"! The recruits gasped, "Don't worry, you will soon get used to the idea", she grinned!

At the end of the tour the recruits were shown a tin shack from which emanated the sound of hoarse discordant singing. St Peter explained, " That is reserved for 'born again' Christians who think they are the only inhabitants of heaven, we don't like to disappoint them so they can sing God's praises for all eternity. One puzzled new arrival queried how they reacted to God being a woman. "Ah" said St Peter, "Now that is our very cunning plan. Not everyone can enter into the delights of heaven immediately if they have been very bad whilst on earth. They must serve a term playing God for the 'born agains’, the length of which depends on the wickedness of their crimes. As the actor is always hidden in a blaze of light, they are none the wiser when a change over takes place. However heinous the crime, the perpetrator is deemed to have served their sentence after a few Millennia of listening to that lot 'singing God's praises!"

RJG
This definitely wasn't taken from the Bible, that's all I can say. Of course, you're not a Christian anyway, so I doubt that means much, lol.
 

robocop (actually)

Well-Known Member
Premium Member
If a heaven actually exists what you is your idea of what it would be like?

I wrote this a few years ago.

Heaven


St Peter was showing a bunch of new recruits the delights of heaven. There were things to suit all tastes, even a gay bar. Most popular were the wine tasting sessions, which Jesus had set up, he was particularly proud of his Chateau Heaven vintage, being of course an expert in viticulture.


A carriage, pulled by eight white horses, stopped beside the group, and out got the most beautiful woman they had ever seen. St Peter bowed low and introduced her, "This is God"! The recruits gasped, "Don't worry, you will soon get used to the idea", she grinned!

At the end of the tour the recruits were shown a tin shack from which emanated the sound of hoarse discordant singing. St Peter explained, " That is reserved for 'born again' Christians who think they are the only inhabitants of heaven, we don't like to disappoint them so they can sing God's praises for all eternity. One puzzled new arrival queried how they reacted to God being a woman. "Ah" said St Peter, "Now that is our very cunning plan. Not everyone can enter into the delights of heaven immediately if they have been very bad whilst on earth. They must serve a term playing God for the 'born agains’, the length of which depends on the wickedness of their crimes. As the actor is always hidden in a blaze of light, they are none the wiser when a change over takes place. However heinous the crime, the perpetrator is deemed to have served their sentence after a few Millennia of listening to that lot 'singing God's praises!"

RJG

My ideal Heaven would depend on how well I did in this life.
 

Salvador

RF's Swedenborgian
I envision Heaven being souls of who each have disembodied consciousness adventuring across space from one lively world to another, each heavenly soul would be able to take possession and control any living body pf whom it sees fit. Each soul vividly remembers each pleasant experience or pleasantries while forgetting any unpleasant experiences.

 
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Quintessence

Consults with Trees
Staff member
Premium Member
Funny thing about the otherworlds is that all of them exist, so the possible natures of heaven are infinite. The heavens that human organisms in this world would be deposited is not likely to be so infinite. And one can only speculate as to which heavens are the ones that would be relevant to us. I choose not to speculate, as otherworlds called "heaven" are not part of my tradition. I'll leave that speculation up to those who concern themselves with it.
 

Hockeycowboy

Witness for Jehovah
Premium Member
If a heaven actually exists what you is your idea of what it would be like?

I wrote this a few years ago.

Heaven


St Peter was showing a bunch of new recruits the delights of heaven. There were things to suit all tastes, even a gay bar. Most popular were the wine tasting sessions, which Jesus had set up, he was particularly proud of his Chateau Heaven vintage, being of course an expert in viticulture.


A carriage, pulled by eight white horses, stopped beside the group, and out got the most beautiful woman they had ever seen. St Peter bowed low and introduced her, "This is God"! The recruits gasped, "Don't worry, you will soon get used to the idea", she grinned!

At the end of the tour the recruits were shown a tin shack from which emanated the sound of hoarse discordant singing. St Peter explained, " That is reserved for 'born again' Christians who think they are the only inhabitants of heaven, we don't like to disappoint them so they can sing God's praises for all eternity. One puzzled new arrival queried how they reacted to God being a woman. "Ah" said St Peter, "Now that is our very cunning plan. Not everyone can enter into the delights of heaven immediately if they have been very bad whilst on earth. They must serve a term playing God for the 'born agains’, the length of which depends on the wickedness of their crimes. As the actor is always hidden in a blaze of light, they are none the wiser when a change over takes place. However heinous the crime, the perpetrator is deemed to have served their sentence after a few Millennia of listening to that lot 'singing God's praises!"

RJG
My idea is more of a paradise....and, on this planet Earth, not in some other realm.

It's what the Bible explains regarding the future:
Revelation 21:3-4.. "tent of God is with mankind...and death will be no more"!

So people will live forever. How? Sin will 'be pardoned', Isaiah 33:24, (through Jesus' sin-atoning sacrifice, 1 John 2:2.) No one will even get sick.
People won't even age to the point of having aches and pains, as per Job 33:25.

'The desert will bloom, and peoples will be healed from their maladies.' Isaiah 35 1-7. Which means human habitation of the deserts, in good health for all.

Isaiah 11:6-9 reveals peace even among animals, and they at peace with man! (Can you imagine playing w/ tigers, leopards, etc.?) Vs.9 says it will be Earth wide!

Everyone living at that time, will have Jehovah's spirit on them, which results in "fruitage" of "love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, mildness..." --Galatians 5:22-23. IOW, people will love each other. (Again, imagine no death, and everyone at unity....no hatred or prejudice... Now what would that do for technological advancement? No knowledge would ever be forgotten or lost!)

With all humans working together, cultivating this Earth into a global park...then the dead -- our loved ones (and maybe not-so-loved ones) -- will start being resurrected! --Acts of the Apostles 24:15. Everyone whom God chooses to resurrect will have a second chance to live "the real life"! -- 1 Timothy 6:19


Sounds too good to be true, eh? Well, remember....
In the Lord's prayer (the Our Father) @ Matthew 6:9-10, Jesus taught His followers to pray "Let Thy will be done on Earth, as it is heaven."

These peaceful conditions just described, is what Jehovah wanted for Adam & Eve & all their descendants. Once the issues of sovereignty in Genesis 3 are settled, His Purpose will start to be fulfilled!
IMO, this is what any loving Father would want for his kids.
 

shmogie

Well-Known Member
If a heaven actually exists what you is your idea of what it would be like?

I wrote this a few years ago.

Heaven


St Peter was showing a bunch of new recruits the delights of heaven. There were things to suit all tastes, even a gay bar. Most popular were the wine tasting sessions, which Jesus had set up, he was particularly proud of his Chateau Heaven vintage, being of course an expert in viticulture.


A carriage, pulled by eight white horses, stopped beside the group, and out got the most beautiful woman they had ever seen. St Peter bowed low and introduced her, "This is God"! The recruits gasped, "Don't worry, you will soon get used to the idea", she grinned!

At the end of the tour the recruits were shown a tin shack from which emanated the sound of hoarse discordant singing. St Peter explained, " That is reserved for 'born again' Christians who think they are the only inhabitants of heaven, we don't like to disappoint them so they can sing God's praises for all eternity. One puzzled new arrival queried how they reacted to God being a woman. "Ah" said St Peter, "Now that is our very cunning plan. Not everyone can enter into the delights of heaven immediately if they have been very bad whilst on earth. They must serve a term playing God for the 'born agains’, the length of which depends on the wickedness of their crimes. As the actor is always hidden in a blaze of light, they are none the wiser when a change over takes place. However heinous the crime, the perpetrator is deemed to have served their sentence after a few Millennia of listening to that lot 'singing God's praises!"

RJG
Hmmmmm, no one getś to heaven without being born again, so your alleged joke is crap.
 

Geoff-Allen

Resident megalomaniac
you-were-a-believer-yes-skipped-jerk.gif


Funny Heaven Cartoons ~ irReligious.oRg

:)
 

loverofhumanity

We are all the leaves of one tree
Premium Member
If a heaven actually exists what you is your idea of what it would be like?

I wrote this a few years ago.

Heaven


St Peter was showing a bunch of new recruits the delights of heaven. There were things to suit all tastes, even a gay bar. Most popular were the wine tasting sessions, which Jesus had set up, he was particularly proud of his Chateau Heaven vintage, being of course an expert in viticulture.


A carriage, pulled by eight white horses, stopped beside the group, and out got the most beautiful woman they had ever seen. St Peter bowed low and introduced her, "This is God"! The recruits gasped, "Don't worry, you will soon get used to the idea", she grinned!

At the end of the tour the recruits were shown a tin shack from which emanated the sound of hoarse discordant singing. St Peter explained, " That is reserved for 'born again' Christians who think they are the only inhabitants of heaven, we don't like to disappoint them so they can sing God's praises for all eternity. One puzzled new arrival queried how they reacted to God being a woman. "Ah" said St Peter, "Now that is our very cunning plan. Not everyone can enter into the delights of heaven immediately if they have been very bad whilst on earth. They must serve a term playing God for the 'born agains’, the length of which depends on the wickedness of their crimes. As the actor is always hidden in a blaze of light, they are none the wiser when a change over takes place. However heinous the crime, the perpetrator is deemed to have served their sentence after a few Millennia of listening to that lot 'singing God's praises!"

RJG

For me winning the good pleasure of God is the greatest of all heavens.
 

loverofhumanity

We are all the leaves of one tree
Premium Member
It would be like being thought well of by Hitler, if the Biblical god character exists in reality.

Our only knowledge of God comes from His Representatives like Christ and Buddha so pleasing Them is really pleasing God and we achieve that by trying to follow their teachings of love, forgiveness and compassion for all beings. The very antithesis of what Hitler stood for,
 

JJ50

Well-Known Member
Our only knowledge of God comes from His Representatives like Christ and Buddha so pleasing Them is really pleasing God and we achieve that by trying to follow their teachings of love, forgiveness and compassion for all beings. The very antithesis of what Hitler stood for,
We don't know god exists, nor did its so called reps!
 

loverofhumanity

We are all the leaves of one tree
Premium Member
We don't know god exists, nor did its so called reps!

That’s a matter of opinion and I respect your view on that. It’s something we each can only decide for ourselves. I’m convinced beyond any doubt that there is a God but others may feel the opposite.
 

JJ50

Well-Known Member
That’s a matter of opinion and I respect your view on that. It’s something we each can only decide for ourselves. I’m convinced beyond any doubt that there is a God but others may feel the opposite.
Fair enough! Of course a god could exist, I fervently hope it doesn't.
 
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