I just saw this. I will pray for you. May God be your strength through your struggles, renew your mind in Christ, and guide your doctor(s) in prescribing a better medication for your bipolar condition.
I find Psalm 23 calming.
I also appreciate the reminder in Paul's writing to walk in newness of life ..
What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? 2 Certainly not! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it? 3 Or do you not know that as many of us as were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death? 4 Therefore we were buried with Him through baptism into death, that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life. Romans 6:1-4
And do not present your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin, but present yourselves to God as being alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God. Romans 6:13
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Phil. 4:12