My grandmother, my dad's mom, died a few years ago. She was very special to me, and she was fond of the saying ''always have an attitude of gratitude.''
I didn't always follow her ''advice.'' Took many things for granted. I always thought she'd be there, be at my wedding. But, she wasn't. I went out to dinner tonight with my husband, and as he was talking to me, it's as though there was silence all around me, and I thought to myself ''I'm grateful for this man.'' He loves me, and I love him. Sometimes, you fall in love with the most unexpected people, at the most unexpected times. He was my friend for a few years, before we started dating. I'm grateful that I didn't tell him no. When we had sex for the first time, he looked at me and said ''why didn't we do this sooner?'' lol
I don't know why. Why do we put things off? Why do think that there's always tomorrow? My grandmother didn't have tomorrow. I hate to sound somber, but it's something to think about.
Gratitude sometimes comes like that...you fear loss, so you better start being grateful. But, maybe we should just look at all of our blessings, and realize...life is good. No matter where you are, if you're struggling, know that those struggles will make you better. Make you stronger. And life is about just that, the ebb and flow of it all. Pain and loss, then love and comfort. It's all part of life.
I think of people who aren't as fortunate, and I say...maybe I am privileged. I'm talking about people who live in other countries, who are oppressed, who have guns held to their heads on a daily basis, and worry if they'll survive another day. I don't know that life. I can't believe that anyone knows that life. Yet, sometimes, the people of those stories, still find hope in their God. Still find hope in themselves.
So, my husband was talking, and I thought...I'm grateful for my life. For this moment. For my family. My parents. My health. My freedom. My cats. My house. My new job. Sometimes, I fear being thankful, for suppose I lose my parents? My husband? My job? My freedoms? That's why I get scared, sometimes...for when we have a lot to lose, it feels worrisome to be ''too'' thankful. Someday, I will lose all of that...those I love...those who love me.
But, in the meantime, I'll be grateful for the time I had with all of them. With all of this. I wish we could freeze moments, and never let them go. Bottle them up, put them on a shelf, take them down...and for those horrible days...when everything is going wrong...we could open the bottle up. And breathe it all in. Those moments.
Life doesn't work that way, though. Moments come and go, and it's like you need a jar to capture them, and seal the lid tight. And that's why we need to be thankful. To have that attitude of gratitude.
Because a jar might not be handy.
*I've started other journals, but think I just want one now to capture everything, spirituality, maybe a spell or two and some daily ramblings about life. Thanks for reading, if you do.
I didn't always follow her ''advice.'' Took many things for granted. I always thought she'd be there, be at my wedding. But, she wasn't. I went out to dinner tonight with my husband, and as he was talking to me, it's as though there was silence all around me, and I thought to myself ''I'm grateful for this man.'' He loves me, and I love him. Sometimes, you fall in love with the most unexpected people, at the most unexpected times. He was my friend for a few years, before we started dating. I'm grateful that I didn't tell him no. When we had sex for the first time, he looked at me and said ''why didn't we do this sooner?'' lol
I don't know why. Why do we put things off? Why do think that there's always tomorrow? My grandmother didn't have tomorrow. I hate to sound somber, but it's something to think about.
Gratitude sometimes comes like that...you fear loss, so you better start being grateful. But, maybe we should just look at all of our blessings, and realize...life is good. No matter where you are, if you're struggling, know that those struggles will make you better. Make you stronger. And life is about just that, the ebb and flow of it all. Pain and loss, then love and comfort. It's all part of life.
I think of people who aren't as fortunate, and I say...maybe I am privileged. I'm talking about people who live in other countries, who are oppressed, who have guns held to their heads on a daily basis, and worry if they'll survive another day. I don't know that life. I can't believe that anyone knows that life. Yet, sometimes, the people of those stories, still find hope in their God. Still find hope in themselves.
So, my husband was talking, and I thought...I'm grateful for my life. For this moment. For my family. My parents. My health. My freedom. My cats. My house. My new job. Sometimes, I fear being thankful, for suppose I lose my parents? My husband? My job? My freedoms? That's why I get scared, sometimes...for when we have a lot to lose, it feels worrisome to be ''too'' thankful. Someday, I will lose all of that...those I love...those who love me.
But, in the meantime, I'll be grateful for the time I had with all of them. With all of this. I wish we could freeze moments, and never let them go. Bottle them up, put them on a shelf, take them down...and for those horrible days...when everything is going wrong...we could open the bottle up. And breathe it all in. Those moments.
Life doesn't work that way, though. Moments come and go, and it's like you need a jar to capture them, and seal the lid tight. And that's why we need to be thankful. To have that attitude of gratitude.
Because a jar might not be handy.
*I've started other journals, but think I just want one now to capture everything, spirituality, maybe a spell or two and some daily ramblings about life. Thanks for reading, if you do.