When we sin and are unapologetic

I'm 72, so don't bounce around much anymore. Yesterday, I was seated on a Streetcar, and a woman close to my age, got on, and when the car started up, she fell hard. I was surprised at my own attitude, being sort of angry and uncharitable toward her for not grabbing the rail before she fell. Someone got her up, and she seemed to be uninjured, but later as she got off, I could see that she was a bit unstable and not careful. Why would she need to be cautioned to be careful?

Mostly, I'm surprised at my own attitude toward her, and feel ashamed, contrite and repentant, now searching my soul for the origin of my feelings. Can I feel the doorway to hell open beneath my feet? I hope not.

Ellen Brown said:

I'm 72, so don't bounce around much anymore. Yesterday, I was seated on a Streetcar, and a woman close to my age, got on, and when the car started up, she fell hard. I was surprised at my own attitude, being sort of angry and uncharitable toward her for not grabbing the rail before she fell. Someone got her up, and she seemed to be uninjured, but later as she got off, I could see that she was a bit unstable and not careful. Why would she need to be cautioned to be careful?

Mostly, I'm surprised at my own attitude toward her, and feel ashamed, contrite and repentant, now searching my soul for the origin of my feelings. Can I feel the doorway to hell open beneath my feet? I hope not.

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May it be that you actually got a bit scared when she fell? That could cause your to get a bit more angry in the moment, right?
And no you dont go to hell for one thing like this.

It doesn't matter much if you have thoughts like that, it's actions that count. Just don't feed the bad thoughts much or they'll grow bigger.

Have you not noticed that it is human nature to have such thoughts? People sometimes prefer to deny it, but that's just how the brain works. How you deal with those thoughts -- and not the fact that you have them -- is what decides your spirituality and character.

Sunstone said:

Have you not noticed that it is human nature to have such thoughts? People sometimes prefer to deny it, but that's just how the brain works. How you deal with those thoughts -- and not the fact that you have them -- is what decides your spirituality and character.

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Would you believe I never had an unkind thought before? No?

Ellen Brown said:

I'm 72, so don't bounce around much anymore. Yesterday, I was seated on a Streetcar, and a woman close to my age, got on, and when the car started up, she fell hard. I was surprised at my own attitude, being sort of angry and uncharitable toward her for not grabbing the rail before she fell. Someone got her up, and she seemed to be uninjured, but later as she got off, I could see that she was a bit unstable and not careful. Why would she need to be cautioned to be careful?

Mostly, I'm surprised at my own attitude toward her, and feel ashamed, contrite and repentant, now searching my soul for the origin of my feelings. Can I feel the doorway to hell open beneath my feet? I hope not.

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Look at it on the bright side, atleast you didnt push her down.

Ellen Brown said:

I was surprised at my own attitude, being sort of angry and uncharitable toward her for not grabbing the rail before she fell.

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Probably thought she should take more responsibility for her own safety. I think we do the same when we see someone with uncontrolled coughing between puffs. Once driving on a busy street there was a woman stuck in the middle trying to cross with her walker. I stopped traffic got her across the street, I recognized the symptoms of Parkinson disease. But as I watched her get into her car and drive after hitting the car in front of her I soon lost what ever charitable feeling I had for her.

@Ellen Brown , living in a society brings a lot of demands with it. Juggling those demands may be difficult, and the lack of proper cooperation from others can easily be maddening.

We are inclined to produce a responsible party, a guilty party, even if it is ourselves. To some extent that is neurological, but the desire to have control over our hardships is also a significant reason. That is not always a reasonable expectation. Sometimes there is no guilty party as such.

In this situation that you describe, it is conceivable that the person under discussion had some form of health condition that he or she could not compensate for at that time. Or it may be something else, including some form of avoidable negligence. Hard to tell.

At the end of the day, very often we just don't know enough to be sure. You will have to decide how much uncertainty you can live with and how to deal with it, how to avoid building it, how to be ready to forgive when forgivance is called for, how to protect your own feelings from slights real and perceived.

We just do not have much control over the circunstances. And that is not always a bad thing.

Ellen Brown said:

I'm 72, so don't bounce around much anymore. Yesterday, I was seated on a Streetcar, and a woman close to my age, got on, and when the car started up, she fell hard. I was surprised at my own attitude, being sort of angry and uncharitable toward her for not grabbing the rail before she fell. Someone got her up, and she seemed to be uninjured, but later as she got off, I could see that she was a bit unstable and not careful. Why would she need to be cautioned to be careful?

Mostly, I'm surprised at my own attitude toward her, and feel ashamed, contrite and repentant, now searching my soul for the origin of my feelings. Can I feel the doorway to hell open beneath my feet? I hope not.

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You are trying. Keep at it.
2 Peter 1:5-11

Ellen Brown said:

I'm 72, so don't bounce around much anymore. Yesterday, I was seated on a Streetcar, and a woman close to my age, got on, and when the car started up, she fell hard. I was surprised at my own attitude, being sort of angry and uncharitable toward her for not grabbing the rail before she fell. Someone got her up, and she seemed to be uninjured, but later as she got off, I could see that she was a bit unstable and not careful. Why would she need to be cautioned to be careful?

Mostly, I'm surprised at my own attitude toward her, and feel ashamed, contrite and repentant, now searching my soul for the origin of my feelings. Can I feel the doorway to hell open beneath my feet? I hope not.

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We all screw up at times, as did the apostles btw, so maybe do an act of charity to try and compensate for this. And remember, "forgiveness" is a key message within Christianity and most other religions, and the fact that you now feel bad is a good thing, not a bad one, as people with empathy will often get down on themselves at times.

So, maybe do something positive to help someone else if you can't find the woman to apologize to.

Ellen Brown said:

I'm 72, so don't bounce around much anymore. Yesterday, I was seated on a Streetcar, and a woman close to my age, got on, and when the car started up, she fell hard. I was surprised at my own attitude, being sort of angry and uncharitable toward her for not grabbing the rail before she fell. Someone got her up, and she seemed to be uninjured, but later as she got off, I could see that she was a bit unstable and not careful. Why would she need to be cautioned to be careful?

Mostly, I'm surprised at my own attitude toward her, and feel ashamed, contrite and repentant, now searching my soul for the origin of my feelings. Can I feel the doorway to hell open beneath my feet? I hope not.

Click to expand...

The fact that your "external observer" is aware of your callousness and concerned about it is a very good sign that you have an active conscience.

For one thing, you are not entirely wrong in being irritated. Someone needs to help the woman be more careful.

But on the other hand, where is the compassion for her injury?

Moral quandry!

The truth is that the morality of it is probably more complex. It is in the WHY she isn't more careful. Most people naturally are. What the heck is going on in her brain that she lacks this common sense? Is she disabled in some way? Was she inebriated? You get the idea. We just don't have enough information.

Perhaps the only way to have gotten the necessary information was to have helped her, because then one could have inquired, "I notice that you weren't being all that careful. Is everything okay? Are you feeling alright?"

I would continue on your present road and look within. Examine it from all sides, and try to be brutally honest with yourself. Allow God to participate in your self examination--without condemnation he will take no excuses! LOL See where this goes for you. It may shape what happens in future scenarios.