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Stupid jokes...

Djamila

Djamila

Bosnjakinja
What are a few jokes that all your friends balk at, but you can't stop laughing at?

For me, the most famous one is a rhyme. I've said it so many times, my friends all finish it when I start it, and none of them ever laughed at it once but - at least two years later - I still say it:

Old Mother Hubbard went to her cupboard to fetch her poor doggy a bone. When she bent over, Rover came over and gave her a bone of his own.

Another is:

When birds migrate in those V-shaped pattern, why is one side of the V always longer than the other?

Because it has more birds in it. :D
 
I

Inky

Active Member
Djamila said:
When birds migrate in those V-shaped pattern, why is one side of the V always longer than the other?

Because it has more birds in it. :D
Click to expand...

My mom taught me that one and I can't stop telling people...for some reason, math majors and mathematicians always give some answer that's not "right" but is so close it makes the punchline not funny. It's my favorite joke though.

Here's another one that's more funny than it should be:
Q: What's brown and sticky?
A: A stick!
then:
Q: What else is brown and sticky?
A: A wall made of sticks!
 
Ormiston

Ormiston

Well-Known Member
Inky said:
My mom taught me that one and I can't stop telling people...for some reason, math majors and mathematicians always give some answer that's not "right" but is so close it makes the punchline not funny. It's my favorite joke though.

Here's another one that's more funny than it should be:
Q: What's brown and sticky?
A: A stick!
then:
Q: What else is brown and sticky?
A: A wall made of sticks!
Click to expand...

Boooo! :D I did laugh for NO apparent reason. I love bad jokes. Here's mine:

What did the snail say while riding on the back of the turtle?

Answer: Weeeeeee!!
 
MysticSang'ha

MysticSang'ha

Big Squishy Hugger
Premium Member
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ether.
Ether who?
Ether bunny!


Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Anna.
Anna who?
Annather Ether bunny!



Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Cargo.
Cargo who?
Cargo beep-beep. Ran over the Ether bunnies.



Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don't cry, the Ether bunnies are okay!




Peace,
Mystic
 
Faint

Faint

Well-Known Member
Two muffins were sitting in a baking tray inside an oven.

One muffin turns to the other muffin and says, "Hey man...it's getting hot in here."

The other muffin says, "Holy s***!! A talking muffin!!"



(It's best if you tell that one to drunk people)
 
ayani

ayani

member
i have this thing where i love getting small children to sing the aqua teen hunger force theme.

and then i'll show everybody (look what he can say! isn't that so neat?), and of course no one cares.
 
Feathers in Hair

Feathers in Hair

World's Tallest Hobbit
Frylock! *jumps for joy*

Mine is a fairly horrible duo:
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea. (Pronounced "No eyed-ear."

What do you call a deer with no eyes that can't move?
Still no idea.
 
Quoth The Raven

Quoth The Raven

Half Arsed Muse
tcprowling said:
Why do we have armies?





To hang our handies on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Click to expand...
You know, I posted that as an answer in a thread entitled 'Why Would Jesus Have An Army'...thread flowed right around me, not quite sure why.:D
My most favourite is one someone told me at work one day. This guy was an absolute piece of work; if it could be considered offensive it'd come out of his mouth. Anyway, I'm standing in the tearoom with a coffee, and he walks up to me and says;

'What's got 2 legs and bleeds?'
:sarcastic
'Half a dog.'

The answer was so unexpected I snorted coffee out my nose.It's an awful joke, but I love it.:yes:
 
sahra-t

sahra-t

/me loves frubals
What do you call Postman Pat when he's retired?

Pat.

and

Why are pirates called pirates?

Because they Arrrrrrrrrr...


I have loads. I'll come back when I remember them :p
 
PetShopBoy88

PetShopBoy88

Active Member
gracie said:
i have this thing where i love getting small children to sing the aqua teen hunger force theme.

and then i'll show everybody (look what he can say! isn't that so neat?), and of course no one cares.
Click to expand...
When I was little my parents "trained" me to have a petit mal seizure. I'm sure nobody else thought that was as funny as they did, either.

Q_T_R said:
'What's got 2 legs and bleeds?'

'Half a dog.'
Click to expand...
ROFL! That's hilarious!!
 
ayani

ayani

member
PetShopBoy88 said:
When I was little my parents "trained" me to have a petit mal seizure. I'm sure nobody else thought that was as funny as they did, either.
Click to expand...

jeez! in truth, you must have some pretty cool parents. ahaha! "hey look at this, Shirley. our boy can pitch a fit on cue! go ahead, son, show Shirley your trick. you'll get a kick out of this, Shirl."

:D
 
PetShopBoy88

PetShopBoy88

Active Member
gracie said:
jeez! in truth, you must have some pretty cool parents. ahaha! "hey look at this, Shirley. our boy can pitch a fit on cute! go ahead, son, show Shirley your trick. you'll get a kick out of this, Shirl."

:D
Click to expand...
Lol. They may have been cool, but they certainly couldn't keep friends for long. :biglaugh:
 
I

Inky

Active Member
Hope it's OK to revive this ancient thread! I couldn't help myself.

A frog walks into a bank. He goes up to a teller and reads her nametag. "Ms. Whack...er...Patty, may I call you Patty? My name is Kermit Jagger. My dad is Mick Jagger. I need a $10,000 loan, and fast. I'm sorry, but this is all I have for collateral." He places a small ceramic dog statue on the desk.

Patty gives him an odd look and says, "We can't lend you that much money with just that thing for security. What is it, anyway?" Then the manager walks in, surveys the situation and says:

"It's a knick-knack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone!"
 
kadzbiz

kadzbiz

..........................
Bwah ha ha. You guys had me laughin'.

Q. What has six legs and would kill you if it fell on you from out of a tree?



A. A billiard table.
 
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