The curse of "converts"

Speaking of 'aunties' and 'uncles' (a young Facebooker who friended me a long time ago called me 'uncle' because of our age difference)...

How does one address, or get the attention of a man or woman you don't know? In Spanish or Italian, one would address the person as 'señora' or señor', or 'signora' or 'signore', respectively. It's respectful. Somehow I don't think bapi, baba or ma is right. Sounds too familiar. Especially if we're about the same age.

Jainarayan said:

Speaking of 'aunties' and 'uncles' (a young Facebooker who friended me a long time ago called me 'uncle' because of our age difference)...

How does one address, or get the attention of a man or woman you don't know? In Spanish or Italian, one would address the person as 'señora' or señor', or 'signora' or 'signore', respectively. It's respectful. Somehow I don't think bapi, baba or ma is right. Sounds too familiar. Especially if we're about the same age.

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You walk up, do a namaskara, give a little head nod. Once they look at you, just a start talking. There is no need for any 'honorarium'. For priests, say 'Iyer', or 'Pundit'.

I think one can address all women, whatever the age, in South India as 'amma'. I think the elder men can be addressed as 'appa'. Vinayaka will know or a South Indian member can advise.

Aupmanyav said:

I think one can address all women, whatever the age, in South India as 'amma'. I think the elder men can be addressed as 'appa'. Vinayaka will know or a South Indian member can advise.

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If I, at 64, addressed a much younger woman as 'Amma' I'd get shunned or smacked. It would be seen as an insult. I usually use 'Akka' ... @Jainarayan ... As per Aup's suggestion, try 'Thamby". (Pronounced like thumbee) Auntie and Uncle are most common, preceded by the name.

That is why I asked you to clarify. In Bengal, you can certainly address any woman as 'ma'.

Vinayaka said:

You walk up, do a namaskara, give a little head nod. Once they look at you, just a start talking. There is no need for any 'honorarium'. For priests, say 'Iyer', or 'Pundit'.

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If I don't know the priest's name I use pundit-ji. For the couple I've gotten to know I use their names. I mentioned that at least one of them has a problem with my real name, so I told him call me Jay, my middle name is Jason.

For others, I mean if they are not looking towards me or have their back turned, etc. and I want to get their attention. Even in the US amongst Americans it's rude to tap someone on the shoulder or arm unless it's a dire need. Well, that's the way I feel anyway... I don't like to be touched.

Vinayaka said:

If I, at 64, addressed a much younger woman as 'Amma' I'd get shunned or smacked.

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I think that way too. I'm not far behind you in age.

I should probably ask my friend at temple. If I see ever see her. We keep missing each other.

Thungachi is 'little sister'. I've used it occasionally. You can also just use 'brother' and 'sister'.

Don't use 'Auntiji' for Punjabi women. They would strike back with "Naaspite, Khasman khaniya, do I look like an Auntie to you". They are always young and vivacious, just out of their teens. (Written partly in jest).

JayaBholenath said:

This is, to my eyes, pure leftovers of abrahamic mindset. It's either black or white. It's either right or wrong. It's either virtue or sin. There is nothing in between.

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Thanks for this great post. Today someone on RF invited me to visit Hindu DIR. Today this is the first post I read now. Good subject.

Getting rid of guilt feeling was one of the hardest things for me. I was brought up as a Christian, luckily not so much black/white there in my case, but still I was an extreme pleaser. This black/white thinking was in my case due to enormous guilt feeling, which I tried to not feel by being a super-pleaser. My Guru rescued me. Took even Him many years to cure me of this guilt feeling and stop me being such a pleaser. Of course still lots of work to do, but at least the big guilt feeling is gone. And finally I start enjoying life a bit.

I really love India and the Spritual way. I really love Gurus. I have been so blessed. I only met wonderful and loving Gurus. For me India is "magical" and my tour was a "magical mystery tour" that I will never forget. And now back in Holland this "mystery tour" is still continuing. I only met Gurus that did not judge me and let me cherry pick all the fun stuff of Hinduism that I liked best. Hinduism is so rich in spirituality. So much to learn and even better to experience.

I do not feel like a Hindu, but slowly my Guru leads me to my personal way, like my swadharma. This principle I love. There is not 1 best way for all. Realizing this, at least judging others stops. When judging others stops, judging yourself stops. And when that stops a big miracle happens

stvdv said:

I do not feel like a Hindu

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But you should.

For some of us it takes a while. I think the more one practices and learns the more one thinks like a Hindu and feels like a Hindu. I have a propensity to overthink things. But I’m glad I overthought the subject of my thread here about stepping up my puja game. As it turns out I learned and started doing a few things that make me feel more Hindu. Feel like a Hindu!

Jainarayan said:

But you should.

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No compulsion. Stvdv, be yourself. If it has to come, it will. If not, then also it is OK. At least you understand what Hindus think and feel.

Vanakkam,

it's me again. I posted here a while ago about travelling to India, but for some ..technical reasons, we are now actually going to the north after all, because the trip we originally wanted was fully booked, the next one didn't have any flights left... so yeah anyway, we're going to do the standard Delhi Agra Jaipur thing and then two or so days in Varanasi. While it is an organized tour, we did have to book our own flights and we're responsible for the visa application process.... which finally brings me to my actual question:

What's up with the "religion" question on the visa application form? In Germany we do not have our religion listed on passports or identity cards anymore and since I'm not legally a member of any of the officially recognized churches, over here legally my religion is "none".
Do I put "none" on the application form? I read somewhere that they don't like that and one should use "other".
Could I put Hindu even though I do not have legal proof of being Hindu since... I don't think my small local South Indian style temple issues those Would doing so get me into trouble? Might it even help me get into temples if i managed to put Hindu and carried a copy of the document?

Thanks in advance

Devaki said:

Vanakkam,

it's me again. I posted here a while ago about travelling to India, but for some ..technical reasons, we are now actually going to the north after all, because the trip we originally wanted was fully booked, the next one didn't have any flights left... so yeah anyway, we're going to do the standard Delhi Agra Jaipur thing and then two or so days in Varanasi. While it is an organized tour, we did have to book our own flights and we're responsible for the visa application process.... which finally brings me to my actual question:

What's up with the "religion" question on the visa application form? In Germany we do not have our religion listed on passports or identity cards anymore and since I'm not legally a member of any of the officially recognized churches, over here legally my religion is "none".
Do I put "none" on the application form? I read somewhere that they don't like that and one should use "other".
Could I put Hindu even though I do not have legal proof of being Hindu since... I don't think my small local South Indian style temple issues those Would doing so get me into trouble? Might it even help me get into temples if i managed to put Hindu and carried a copy of the document?

Thanks in advance

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I visited Mother Amma this week when she visited Holland. The Indian Ambassador was there, he really loves Mother Amma; touching her feet, hugging her, even putting garlands around her. And he was allowed to have a speech.

Most important part of the speech was of course praising Mother Amma, but next important part was "I want all the Amma Devotees to know that I made it extremely simple for them to get a visa for visiting Amma". I just heard that I can apply on the internet now, and get a 2 month visa to be used in 3 {or 4?} month period, in which I am even allowed to re-enter India once. I postponed going to India because all the hassle to get a visa. But hearing this speech I realized that Amma did have some good influence on our Indian Ambassador.

So when I apply for visa again I put Mother Amma her name on it also (I used to put Sanathana Dharma or Sai Baba)

Good luck and enjoy your India travel
Namastee

IMHO, you can say that you are a Hindu. I do not think it will create any problem. You might also check at For Citizens of Other Countries - Visa and PIO/OCI Questions - India Travel Forum | IndiaMike.com. This is a forum that I visit, a nice place.

Aupmanyav said:

No compulsion. Stvdv, be yourself. If it has to come, it will. If not, then also it is OK. At least you understand what Hindus think and feel.

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What I meant is that there's no reason to not feel like a Hindu.

It takes time, at least for some. And we are not evangelists. Not necessary that every one should feel Hindu.

Day after day, I'm watching youtube videos of ISKCON devotees, participating in massive events, such as ones organized by HH Indradyumna Swami. Their dedication bewilders me. In one video, Indradyumna Swami initiates one young female devotee into disciplehood in Iskcon and he asks her how many rounds of mahamantra she recited. Her reply and her commitment astonishes me. I think converts as such as these lovely devotees are termed, they are doing too fabulous a job for it! Never seen so many masses with such enthusiasm in natives.

Nice, I too appreciate their commitment.