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Friends with benefits

Trackdayguy

Speed doesn't kill, it's hitting the wall
Being sexual and enjoying sexual pleasure is one of life's great treats. Tragically, in my opinion religion has done WAY more damage to people's sexuality than porn ever will.

Being sexual is part of being human, but who are we to be sexual with? Religion sadly has not only shamed our sexuality but has convinced the masses that being sexual should be limited to one person, sadly that doesn't line up with our genetic make up. A great book on the topic is: Sex at Dawn.

https://play.google.com/store/books...gclsrc=aw.ds&dclid=CP_K596249oCFdB6YgodWG0Lww

Once people are free from all the shame and bondage that religion and a Victorian world view has imposed on us, the world opens up to all sorts of new possibilities. Having fun with our friends and enjoying each other sexually is one of lives great tonics.
 
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Skwim

Veteran Member
Wow! Sounds like you're a nympho.

1 Corinthians 6:18; Colossians 3:5-6
Ah, Trackdayguy is a male.


nym·pho
ˈnimˌfō/
noun
informal
noun: nympho; plural noun: nymphos
  1. a nymphomaniac.
nym·pho·ma·ni·a
ˌnimfəˈmānēə/
noun
noun: nymphomania
  1. uncontrollable or excessive sexual desire in a woman.
.
 

David T

Well-Known Member
Premium Member
Yep it's religions fault...
blog-456-copy-1.jpg
 
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Shushersbedamned

Well-Known Member
I would take OP more seriously if I hadn't been previously applled by their comments regarding such matters.

For the defence of Christianity (as if it needed it) I have never been taught any such things. And I have reason to believe neither have my age fellows.
 

Saint Frankenstein

Wanderer From Afar
Premium Member
As I said on the other copy of this thread that eas deleted (why they weren't merged, I don't know)...

Not everyone wants to be non-monogamous and not everyone needs polyamory to be happy. Get over it and worry about your own life. You seem to be projecting your own insecurities onto everyone else. Maybe you need some counseling for yourself. Oh, and that Sex at Dawn book appears to have mostly negative reviews from academics.
 

Hockeycowboy

Witness for Jehovah
Premium Member
Ah, Trackdayguy is a male.


nym·pho
ˈnimˌfō/
noun
informal
noun: nympho; plural noun: nymphos
  1. a nymphomaniac.
nym·pho·ma·ni·a
ˌnimfəˈmānēə/
noun
noun: nymphomania
  1. uncontrollable or excessive sexual desire in a woman.
.
Thanks for the correction. What's the correlating term for a sex-crazed male? It isn't gigolo.
 

Trackdayguy

Speed doesn't kill, it's hitting the wall
Thanks for the correction. What's the correlating term for a sex-crazed male? It isn't gigolo.

Actually I think a gigolo is a guy who sells sexual favors to women, nice work if you can get it.

I read some where that King David had 1000 wives plus concubines, guess he must have been a happy chap
 

Hockeycowboy

Witness for Jehovah
Premium Member
I read some where that King David had 1000 wives plus concubines, guess he must have been a happy chap
It was his son, Solomon. Unfortunately, it became a problem....
1 Kings 11:3-5

I think David had 6; they were his wives, not just some women he hooked up with.

When a 'two-wife family' is mentioned in the Bible, it describes the conflict that existed between the wives....not a peaceful family life.
 

Trackdayguy

Speed doesn't kill, it's hitting the wall
It was his son, Solomon. Unfortunately, it became a problem....
1 Kings 11:3-5

I think David had 6; they were his wives, not just some women he hooked up with.

When a 'two-wife family' is mentioned in the Bible, it describes the conflict that existed between the wives....not a peaceful family life.

Yea, I guess a 1000 is probably a bit over the top, sounds like King David had found some balance, 6 wives. There's no question that the OT model of marriage was multiple partners.

Interesting that those of us in healthy Open Marriages have less problems with, cheating, deception, jealousy and betrayal. Monogamy sucks and doesn't work for the majority of the worlds people.

Time to wake up folks.
 

Sunstone

De Diablo Del Fora
Premium Member
I can't find anything morally wrong with consenting adults agreeing to a friends with benefits relationship, but people who enter into such relationships should be aware that they can become complicated if an oxytocin bond develops, or if one or both partners come to expect and/or emotionally depend on the pleasure they get from each other, etc. Those are risks to be aware of.

....Sex at Dawn.

A thought provoking book! I think the jury is still out on some of its conclusions, though.
 

Frater Sisyphus

Contradiction, irrationality and disorder
Friends With Benefits is really something that a lot of people should be readily doing IMO, when it seems more like a niche in general. People try to commit to relationships all the time without realizing that all they really want out of it is sex and random hookups as they are lack a certain personal meaning too.
 

Skwim

Veteran Member
Thanks for the correction. What's the correlating term for a sex-crazed male? It isn't gigolo.
Satyriasis (also satyromania) is the corresponding condition to nymphomania in men.

It is derived from the Satyrs who in Greek mythology were drunken hyper-sexual goat-man creatures who were attendant upon Dionysus.

This same condition is often called Don Juanism, too. Named for the classic literary character Don Juan, famous for his conquests with women.
source

There really isn't one. There's a double standard. Men are expected to be sex-obsessed sluts but women are shamed for it.

****
slət/
noun
derogatory
noun: ****; plural noun: sluts
  1. 1.a woman who has many casual sexual partners.
    synonyms: promiscuous woman, prostitute, whore;
.
 

Mock Turtle

Oh my, did I say that!
Premium Member
Being sexual and enjoying sexual pleasure is one of life's great treats. Tragically, in my opinion religion has done WAY more damage to people's sexuality than porn ever will.

Being sexual is part of being human, but who are we to be sexual with? Religion sadly has not only shamed our sexuality but has convinced the masses that being sexual should be limited to one person, sadly that doesn't line up with our genetic make up. A great book on the topic is: Sex at Dawn.

https://play.google.com/store/books...gclsrc=aw.ds&dclid=CP_K596249oCFdB6YgodWG0Lww

Once people are free from all the shame and bondage that religion and a Victorian world view has imposed on us, the world opens up to all sorts of new possibilities. Having fun with our friends and enjoying each other sexually is one of lives great tonics.

Would certainly explain why a few girls at my secondary school seemed to enjoy being the (sexual) focus of attention of so many. Wished I had known this at the time but I would probably still not have availed myself of their benefits - and a few did chase me (away). :oops:
 

Jumi

Well-Known Member
People seem too preoccupied with sex. Though I see it's unlikely to change, every generation seems to rebel against much of the same thing and when they become older they're bricks in the wall.
 

Sunstone

De Diablo Del Fora
Premium Member
Labeling someones' behavior nymphomania or satyromania strikes me as most likely petty shaming of people for getting more sex than we do. I can understand that too much sexual activity could be dysfunctional if it resulted in one neglecting other aspects of life -- such as paying ones bills, taking care of ones health, etc. However, I would prefer to leave ti up to the professionals to diagnose such cases. The average person is probably too poorly informed to do so in a clinical manner.
 

Srivijaya

Active Member
Years back I remember watching a documentary about a 60s experiment where they put a bunch of nude males and females into some kind of observed environment and left them to get on with it. It ended badly, despite trying to be "free from all inhibitions" etc. Some ladies didn't want to be sex toys for the guys who just wanted to be constantly at it.

They tried the whole "it's your social inhibitions/conditioning on a sobbing, pretty blonde who was clearly having a breakdown. But back then there was a utopian hippy assumption about a lost natural freedom to do what you want, when you wanted to with no crass, socially imposed restrictions.
 

Sunstone

De Diablo Del Fora
Premium Member
Years back I remember watching a documentary about a 60s experiment where they put a bunch of nude males and females into some kind of observed environment and left them to get on with it. It ended badly, despite trying to be "free from all inhibitions" etc. Some ladies didn't want to be sex toys for the guys who just wanted to be constantly at it.

They tried the whole "it's your social inhibitions/conditioning on a sobbing, pretty blonde who was clearly having a breakdown. But back then there was a utopian hippy assumption about a lost natural freedom to do what you want, when you wanted to with no crass, socially imposed restrictions.

I think the 60s attitude that "all hang ups were mere conditioning" tied in with the dominance of behaviorism in psychology at the time, and the general acceptance of the notion that human behavior was infinitely malleable. That seems such a quaint idea nowadays.
 
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