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What is your opinion on this relationship?

BUDDY

BUDDY

User of Aspercreme
These two are dating. What are your thought?

Man: 32 year old professional man, never married. Finished college already, and has a great job. No children. Former military and has been around the world and seena dn done a lot. Attends church services regularly and comes from a family of like faith.

Woman: 21 year old college Senior, never married. Attends college in a different state and met this man during her summer vacation. Plans on graduating and returning to her home state to work as a school teacher. Attends church services regularly (which is where she met this man) and comes from a family of like faith.

Is age a problem here? Is it only a problem if one of them make it so?

I really need some feedback here. The man mentioned is me, and I sometimes have been feeling guilty about this relationship, even though her family and my family is very much for it.
 
kai

kai

ragamuffin
age is not a problem, your family and her family are ok with it
what are you waiting for
 
Rejected

Rejected

Under Reconstruction
I wouldn't worry too much about it. Both of your are adults and at first glance I would assume that she is somewhat mature and responsible for a 21 year old woman, based of the fact that she is getting ready to graduate from college and begin a teaching career. That’s pretty responsible. More responsible than most 21 year old women I know.

I really only think is an issue if you let it become and issue. Would it matter if you were 53 and she was 42?

As long as you enjoy each other's company and no one else is throwing a fit then don't stress about it.
 
S

Snowbear

Nita Okhata
Why is the age difference a problem? Does she have a problem with it? What makes you uncomfortable about it?

Seems to me, you're both well over the age of consent and she as well as you should be mature enough to decide who you choose to get involved with.

IMO - If age is the only thing holding you back, you're .... well.... NUTS!!!:slap:
 
jamaesi

jamaesi

To Save A Lamb
My sister has over 20 years of an age difference with her husband (he's older) and wow, they have have a great relationship. :D
Age is only a problem if you let it be. You're both mature adults here.


Good luck with everything! :)
 
BUDDY

BUDDY

User of Aspercreme
Snowbear said:
Why is the age difference a problem? Does she have a problem with it? What makes you uncomfortable about it?

Seems to me, you're both well over the age of consent and she as well as you should be mature enough to decide who you choose to get involved with.

IMO - If age is the only thing holding you back, you're .... well.... NUTS!!!:slap:
Click to expand...
At first it was a small concern, but not enough to keep me from persuing her. The other day, while looking through pictures of her as a kid, I came to the realization of how big an age difference it was. Kind of made me feel like a dirty old man for a few minutes. Especially when I realized that about the tiem I was joining the Marine Corps, she was just finishing the 4th grade. When I told her this, whe just laughed at me and kissed me. It is not keeping me from wanting to be with her, it's just a small personal concern. I just need to get over it.
 
BrandonE

BrandonE

King of Parentheses
BUDDY said:
At first it was a small concern, but not enough to keep me from persuing her. The other day, while looking through pictures of her as a kid, I came to the realization of how big an age difference it was. Kind of made me feel like a dirty old man for a few minutes. Especially when I realized that about the tiem I was joining the Marine Corps, she was just finishing the 4th grade. When I told her this, whe just laughed at me and kissed me. It is not keeping me from wanting to be with her, it's just a small personal concern. I just need to get over it.
Click to expand...
I think you're right to keep thinking about it and try to figure out WHY it bothers you. Once you've figured it out, it will probably be apparent that it wasn't worth worrying about.
 
Bishka

Bishka

Veteran Member
BUDDY said:
At first it was a small concern, but not enough to keep me from persuing her. The other day, while looking through pictures of her as a kid, I came to the realization of how big an age difference it was. Kind of made me feel like a dirty old man for a few minutes. Especially when I realized that about the tiem I was joining the Marine Corps, she was just finishing the 4th grade. When I told her this, whe just laughed at me and kissed me. It is not keeping me from wanting to be with her, it's just a small personal concern. I just need to get over it.
Click to expand...
Don't worry.

Things will turn out fine.

My grandparents were 21 years to the day apart, and I recently had a 22 year old friend marry a 30 year old man. They are so much in love and are expecting their first child this December.
 
A

angellous_evangellous

Guest
BUDDY said:
These two are dating. What are your thought?

Man: 32 year old professional man, never married. Finished college already, and has a great job. No children. Former military and has been around the world and seena dn done a lot. Attends church services regularly and comes from a family of like faith.

Woman: 21 year old college Senior, never married. Attends college in a different state and met this man during her summer vacation. Plans on graduating and returning to her home state to work as a school teacher. Attends church services regularly (which is where she met this man) and comes from a family of like faith.

Is age a problem here? Is it only a problem if one of them make it so?

I really need some feedback here. The man mentioned is me, and I sometimes have been feeling guilty about this relationship, even though her family and my family is very much for it.
Click to expand...

Good for the guy! :beach:

Age is no problem if he can understand her sense of humor and they get along.
 
A

angellous_evangellous

Guest
BUDDY said:
At first it was a small concern, but not enough to keep me from persuing her. The other day, while looking through pictures of her as a kid, I came to the realization of how big an age difference it was. Kind of made me feel like a dirty old man for a few minutes. Especially when I realized that about the tiem I was joining the Marine Corps, she was just finishing the 4th grade. When I told her this, whe just laughed at me and kissed me. It is not keeping me from wanting to be with her, it's just a small personal concern. I just need to get over it.
Click to expand...

Well you're not pursuing the kid in the pics, you're pursuing the adult.
 
Faint

Faint

Well-Known Member
Snowbear said:
Seems to me, you're both well over the age of consent and she as well as you should be mature enough to decide who you choose to get involved with.

IMO - If age is the only thing holding you back, you're .... well.... NUTS!!!:slap:
Click to expand...
Agreed. I'm guessing that aside from whatever charm you may have, the girl likes the idea of dating an older man. No doubt she's had enough young-man drama with college boys. Or maybe she needs a "father figure" in her life? Whatever the reason, if you mesh well--who cares?

On another note, I've never subscribed to this "men should date women their own age" thing. Men should date women they're attracted to (if they can). Hugh Hefner has the right idea. So Buddy...have you considered getting a couple more 21 year-olds? Maybe start a little harem? :D
 
Linus

Linus

Well-Known Member
Buddy

If each of you is truly ready and willing to give what the other needs, then I don't see a problem with an age difference. If you can and want to give her what she needs, and she you, I see no problem.
 
jewscout

jewscout

Religious Zionist
Buddy i wouldn't worry about it too much...
if everyone's for it the only way age can get in the way is if you let it.

fudge it dude!
 
Faint

Faint

Well-Known Member
angellous_evangellous said:
Good for the guy! :beach:

Age is no problem if he can understand her sense of humor and they get along.
Click to expand...
Actually, that's a good point...the understanding. Whatever the age, the two need to be on the same page...they need to be able to communicate well. If the generation gap is too big to overcome, it won't work...but the couple would likely notice this before they start dating. Signs to watch out for:
- She's talking about Jessica Simpson music...you're surprised "The Simpsons" cartoon released any albums after Simpsons Sing the Blues.
- She wants to go clubbing, you'd rather stay in and get some sleep.
- You use phrases like "da bomb", and "a'ight", and "wassup"...but you're white and haven't just time-traveled from six years ago.
- She wants you to skeet but you don't know what she's talking about.
- Your friends hang out drinking wine, discussing mortgages, and each other's children; she can't relate unless the subject turns to MTV, fashion, and how fun it is to get drunk.
- You keep mentioning shows like "Alf", "The A-Team", "Magnum P.I." and she's obviously bored and confused.
 
Smoke

Smoke

Done here.
BUDDY said:
Is age a problem here? Is it only a problem if one of them make it so?

I really need some feedback here. The man mentioned is me, and I sometimes have been feeling guilty about this relationship, even though her family and my family is very much for it.
Click to expand...
Assuming that your values and priorities are about the same, and that you understand each other, I can't see any reason why the age difference should be a problem. One thing it's good to avoid, though, is socializing only with people your age or only people her age; that tends to leave one or the other feeling a little on the fringes.

I have known couples where the husband was a great deal older than the wife, and there were some difficulties when the husband was in his dotage and the wife was still very much interested in sex. But the age difference in those cases was much more than eleven years.

One of my aunts was happily married for many years to a man nine years her senior, and another to a man twenty-two years her senior who had a son older than her. One of my uncles, on the other hand, attributed his second divorce to a nine-year age difference. The point is that it's not really the age difference that matters, it's the individuals involved.
 
BUDDY

BUDDY

User of Aspercreme
Faint said:
Actually, that's a good point...the understanding. Whatever the age, the two need to be on the same page...they need to be able to communicate well. If the generation gap is too big to overcome, it won't work...but the couple would likely notice this before they start dating. Signs to watch out for:
- She's talking about Jessica Simpson music...you're surprised "The Simpsons" cartoon released any albums after Simpsons Sing the Blues.
- She wants to go clubbing, you'd rather stay in and get some sleep.
- You use phrases like "da bomb", and "a'ight", and "wassup"...but you're white and haven't just time-traveled from six years ago.
- She wants you to skeet but you don't know what she's talking about.
- Your friends hang out drinking wine, discussing mortgages, and each other's children; she can't relate unless the subject turns to MTV, fashion, and how fun it is to get drunk.
- You keep mentioning shows like "Alf", "The A-Team", "Magnum P.I." and she's obviously bored and confused.
Click to expand...
Hahahahaha!!:D That is hilarious. Actually, the other day we were sitting around watching TV, and Back to Future was on. When I made the remark that I had seen that in a theater, she looked at me and laughed. It was pretty funny.

Thanks for all the encouragement guys. Frubals for everyone. I feel a lot better.
 
Ryan2065

Ryan2065

Well-Known Member
Hrm, joining this discussion at the end, but oh well =p

I myself have always been one to love a huge age difference... My last girlfriend was 7 whole days younger than me... My current girlfriend just turned 20 and I'm 22! :thud:

Heh, so see, large age differences are no problem!

Oh, and my parents just had their 25th wedding anniversary last week, 14 years difference between them... Met when she was 22 and he was 36.
 
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