Can we all agree it is wrong for a 32yo to date a teenager?

leibowde84 said:

Criminality aside, can we all just agree that it is wrong for a man in his 30s to date a teenager?

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At 18, 19 years old? If they can be considered mature adults capable of making rational and informed decisions for themselves, I don't see what's "immoral" about it. But if they're considerably younger where they can easily be manipulated, exploited, coerced, etc., of course it's wrong.

Kemosloby said:

I don't know, what is the law? I know that in old songs 3 times 7 means a girl is legal. I've heard math skills have declined in America so it's really anybody's guess now.

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I think 21 is a good marker of maturity, at least to some extent. A 21 year old with an 18 year old is not nearly as bad as a 33 year old with an 18 year old though. It all has to do with the level of sexual maturity. 21 and below should be off limits for those over 30 for this reason.

leibowde84 said:

Criminality aside, can we all just agree that it is wrong for a man in his 30s to date a teenager?

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You've got to decide at some age when an individual is capable of making their own decisions. So if an 18yo wants to date an older man, for better or worse, you have to give them the freedom to make that choice.

Personally, I don't think folks under 30 should be allowed to get married. The age of consent is the age of consent however. For the most part, the majority gets to decide what's best for the rest.

leibowde84 said:

Criminality aside, can we all just agree that it is wrong for a man in his 30s to date a teenager?

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A couple of questions for you
Does it make a difference if the teenager is male or female?
Does it make a difference if its a 30 something woman with a male or female teenager?

I guess this isn't the right thread for me to mention that I am dating someone 9 years younger than me. He's not a teenager though, so there's that.

As a side note, I don't think the poll should just be limited to men dating someone that much younger. I think it's the same for women.

Quetzal said:

Would you really want that?

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Ugh....of course not.

To the OP, if a 32-year old dated a 19-year old, it's not necessarily wrong. But as others have written, a 32-year old dating a 13-year old is something entirely different and for us I would call it wrong.

As a movie note: Fiddler on the Roof had a proposed "May December" match scene although I think the daughter in that case was late teen or perhaps very early 20's.

Jesster said:

I guess this isn't the right thread for me to mention that I am dating someone 9 years younger than me. He's not a teenager though, so there's that.

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If he/she is legal age, I don't see why not.

Jesster said:

I guess this isn't the right thread for me to mention that I am dating someone 9 years younger than me. He's not a teenager though, so there's that.

As a side note, I don't think the poll should just be limited to men dating someone that much younger. I think it's the same for women.

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This is interesting, usually the paradigm is reversed. Do you notice a gap in maturity or life goals?

leibowde84 said:

Criminality aside, can we all just agree that it is wrong for a man in his 30s to date a teenager?

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Voted No. Yes, there is huge potential for manipulation, and I can share a sense of disgust lingering there as well but there is nothing wrong with that kind of relationship if it works.

My parents relationship started as a tutor-student romance. They had to keep it secret because a previous tutor at the school had taken advantage of students in the past, but after a while it became more of an open secret. So there is an eight year age gap between them. My dad would have been 30 and my mum was 22 when they got married. So this is a similar age range to the one you mentioned in the OP.

It was my mum who asked my dad out (I believe under a clock tower at the entrance of the college one evening as she pointed out the spot one time we visited). According to my mum, my dad was his typical day dreaming and oblivious self and probably would not have asked her out otherwise. 37 years of marriage later, he is still an oblivious day dreamer playing his guitar in the next room. my mum still can't get him to buy new socks when the old ones have holes in them so he just wears them anyway, walking around the house with his toes sticking out. This Christmas, I expect she will have bought him socks again. God willing, I have no doubt they will stay together for quite sometime.

Quetzal said:

This is interesting, usually the paradigm is reversed. Do you notice a gap in maturity or life goals?

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Not really. I actually originally thought he was older than he is because of his interests and the way he acts. I'm not normally interested in people younger than me, but there's always exceptions.

Jesster said:

Not really. I actually originally thought he was older than he is because of his interests and the way he acts. I'm not normally interested in people younger than me, but there's always exceptions.

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Well, best of luck. I hope it turns out well.

Laika said:

Well, best of luck. I hope it turns out well.

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After 2+ years, it's going very well. Thanks!

Jesster said:

Not really. I actually originally thought he was older than he is because of his interests and the way he acts. I'm not normally interested in people younger than me, but there's always exceptions.

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That's great! Looks like you found yourself a keeper!

That depends on the 30yr old’s motives and the teenager’s responsibility, in my opinion.

I know a 20 something year old dating a 50 something year old.

Her family doesn't even mind either, because they all hang out. He even goes clubbing with her.

At first, I thought it was a bit odd, but I see they're both happy so whatever.

At some point, an individual should be able to consent. The 17-18 years of age is a bit arbitrary but I can see why we need some legal age for adulthood.

leibowde84 said:

Criminality aside, can we all just agree that it is wrong for a man in his 30s to date a teenager?

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Several mistakes there................
So, is it OK for a woman in her 30's to date a teenager?
See the sexism peeping through?

And in the UK the law says that a teenager over 16 can date who s/he likes.

I dated my wife when she was 24yrs, and I was 43yrs. We're married and been together for 25 years now. Age difference doesn't have to mean much.

Meh, when I was 31, I met someone who was 19. She asked me to a cup of coffee, we hit it off, and 3 years later we are still going as strong as ever.

I never liked the term "age is just a number," but sometimes life just clicks into place in ways you never expected.

Nakosis said:

You've got to decide at some age when an individual is capable of making their own decisions. So if an 18yo wants to date an older man, for better or worse, you have to give them the freedom to make that choice.

Personally, I don't think folks under 30 should be allowed to get married. The age of consent is the age of consent however. For the most part, the majority gets to decide what's best for the rest.

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As I said, I'm not talking criminality. I'm just talking about morality/ethics. Imho, it is immoral for a 30-something year old man to date a teenager.