How quickly can one fall in love?

I think there's an important distinction between the early rush of being with someone new, and true love. What I'm not sure of is if the two are mutually exclusive. Is it possible to truly fall in love with someone in a short amount of time, let's say a month or so? Or is it always just going to be part of dating a new person?

Love can bloom in less than a month, imo.
Young people are inexperienced and do not know much about love.
It will be longer for people who do not know about love.
If you have loved, then it isn't long before you know that you are being loved back.
Unless, of course, the one loving you back is acting.
So, in that case, it is never that true love is realized.

That might be why someone here might but himself on the train track. @PopeADope

1137 said:

I think there's an important distinction between the early rush of being with someone new, and true love. What I'm not sure of is if the two are mutually exclusive. Is it possible to truly fall in love with someone in a short amount of time, let's say a month or so? Or is it always just going to be part of dating a new person?

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I was 32 when I was introduced to my wife to be, on the second date I knew I would marry her, 3 months later we were married. The love lasted probably 6 months and then commitment and compromise became marriage. We are married 20 years with 2 kids but I'm not going to say it was never a struggle.

bobhikes said:

compromise became marriage. .

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Congratulations! I think compromise = I care = love.

"How quickly can one fall in love?"

Too damn quick for my own good.

Nobody knows

To me the form of love in a relationship is what results after all the stupid fights, misunderstandings, miscommunications and general sludge is fully experienced. Then one day I realized that I really loved my wife, partly because we had stuck it out and found what lay underneath all the crap. And partly because going through the crap forged a bond of gold.

1137 said:

Is it possible to truly fall in love with someone in a short amount of time, let's say a month or so? Or is it always just going to be part of dating a new person?

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I would say yes that it's possible, but patience is needed for assurance purposes.

BTW, I can admit that what I was taught about there only being one person out there for us is patently wrong as I was madly on love with two women at the same time and they were in love with me, although I don't know why with the latter happened.

1137 said:

I think there's an important distinction between the early rush of being with someone new, and true love. What I'm not sure of is if the two are mutually exclusive. Is it possible to truly fall in love with someone in a short amount of time, let's say a month or so? Or is it always just going to be part of dating a new person?

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If both of you are on the same page, it could be the start of love. Especially after a month or so you have talked about what you two want. Make a commitment and it becomes a growing relationship. If you have it down for a year, I'll say, see if you two on the same page then call it more than infacuated love.

Committed love takes awhile.

I fell in love with her the first time I saw her. Now, after 45 years of marriage, I remember that moment as if it was yesterday (of course, her claim that we have been together in previous lives probably had something to do with this). Like it has already been note, it wasn't always easy, but there never was a time that we ever wanted to be with anyone else.

It depends on the person and there definition of love. If by love you mean extreme obsession with an individual, then it can happen spontaneously. Generally, however, the mutual caring form of love takes time and interaction to develop.

Lust is almost immediate, love takes almost a lifetime.

I fell in love with my Honda Odyssey the moment I first laid eyes on her.
My Subaru WRX was quite jealous.

1137 said:

I think there's an important distinction between the early rush of being with someone new, and true love. What I'm not sure of is if the two are mutually exclusive. Is it possible to truly fall in love with someone in a short amount of time, let's say a month or so? Or is it always just going to be part of dating a new person?

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Welp, I was pretty much all in with my wife in about two weeks. So much so, that I had to watch letting it slip to early as I thought I'd be slightly offensive. About 3 weeks in I let some banal comment about a fancy headboard for a bed slip using we and our instead of "a", oops... Anyway, at least the affection was mutual and we're still here twenty-one years later. Of course, much later I found that she was just as smitten and it was only our sense of inappropriateness that was slowing us down.

That being said, I had several relationships where I was "in love" with the person probably more than me, but by comparison they were just a bad case of puppy love. I'm of the mind now that if you find the right one your mental obstacles will just fall by the wayside and you won't have these doubts. Far be it from me to criticize those whom have to mind their time with a lesser creature than this, however. If you can't have the Ritz, maybe you can settle for a nice Hampton Inn for the meanwhile, and find a part of the happiness anyway.

Be

Hammerheart said:

It depends on the person and there definition of love. If by love you mean extreme obsession with an individual, then it can happen spontaneously. Generally, however, the mutual caring form of love takes time and interaction to develop.

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1137 said:

I think there's an important distinction between the early rush of being with someone new, and true love. What I'm not sure of is if the two are mutually exclusive. Is it possible to truly fall in love with someone in a short amount of time, let's say a month or so? Or is it always just going to be part of dating a new person?

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Best guess is that it can be a short as 15 seconds. I think its a matter of what you are thinking, what you are feeling, time of day, and other factors. I'm pretty sure that it only takes 15 seconds, sometimes. I also think that it is possible to realize it and head it off if you recognize it, but if you do not recognize it the only way to stop it is to quickly get away and stay away for a period of time with no thoughts of your target.

My shortest record for deciding someone was both really attractive and had an interesting personality was about twenty minutes.
My shortest record for deciding someone was hot was about less than a second.

1137 said:

I think there's an important distinction between the early rush of being with someone new, and true love. What I'm not sure of is if the two are mutually exclusive. Is it possible to truly fall in love with someone in a short amount of time, let's say a month or so? Or is it always just going to be part of dating a new person?

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Yeah. My first love took about a month for me to be aware that I was much "happier" than usual. It was unrequited (or at least very complicated) but was still a really important experience. I wish I hadn't been such a moron around him and had made more of an effort as simply spending time with someone you find that attractive is very special.

Don't look for "true" love as you won't find it. enjoy the honeymoon phase and given time you'll figure out if this is something that will be sustained over a longer period. Be prepared to make mistakes and don't be too embarrassed about it (as we all do it and we all have to learn how to love from scratch). Too much of our conception of true love is based on searching for absolutes and perfection that we won't find in the real world. It is better to find someone who makes you happy and is worth making a few small sacrifices for, than waiting for the "perfect" person to come along. learning to love someone is about finding ways of accepting your differences and their imperfections, but not to the extent that it becomes an obligation that makes you deeply unhappy.

p.s. I would recommend Erich Fromm's the "Art of Loving" if your looking for a really good discussion on Love. Our society doesn't really prepare us very well for being in love and so we walk into it largely unprepared to deal with our own feelings or even really thinking about "love" in a deeper way.

I fall in love before I even meet them....