the idea that there's no escape from a disastrous marriage is not just absurd but repugnant.
Well, again I will say, church teaching and Bible doctrine tends to differ.
Divorce according to scripture has a strong reason for doing so when adultery is committed; this is by no means the only reason!
Paul said this:
12 But to the rest say I, not the Lord: If any brother hath an unbelieving wife, and she is content to dwell with him, let him not leave her. 13 And the woman that hath an unbelieving husband, and he is content to dwell with her, let her not leave her husband. 14 . . .
15 Yet if the unbelieving departeth, let him depart: the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases : but God hath called us in peace.
If a person in a marriage is being abused, assuredly this is not being "
content to dwell with" that person! An abusive relationship, hitting, etc. means that the abuser is not behaving in the Christian way - that person has earned the "
unbeliever" status. This does not in any way mean that a Christian can permit him or herself to fall in love with another outside marriage and quit because of this. We must not forget the promise:
Hebrews 13:4 Let marriage be had in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled: for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.
In this then, if in good conscience we can say that the other party is abusing the other one in the marriage bond, then we have the right to depart.
I try to go by the Bible always.
Golly, you'd think God would have better things to do with [his] time than obsess about people's genitals and take lots of notes!
I knew my poor wording and short explanation would come back to bite my tail feathers. It could have been explained better than I did. God is not standing over us tallying every little wrong or minor good thing we do. But, the big stuff, good or bad shall be paid back.