This thread is more so directed at guys, but what exactly is the point of marriage?
I hope you don't mind I answer even though I'm not a guy, I know my husband's perspective and that of my male friends. There isn't much of a difference, to be honest.
Given how ubiquitous cheating has become, online dating and loss of old morals, is it realistic to expect people stay married forever?
Maybe it seems like cheating is happening more often but I think it's not. Think about how in the past men had mistresses along with their wife. Or maybe it was kept quiet and there was the occasional scandal. Nowadays with social media, we're a lot more exposed to these things so it seems like it happens more often but I'm not convinced that it actually does. I don't know anyone in my immediate entourage that's done online dating. I met my husband online but it was via a videogame website and we were friendly to each other and realised we liked each other then decided to meet.
As for the last question, I think it depends on each person's character and how hard they are willing to work at staying together. It's important to compromise, to be with someone compatible and not mind the person's flaws and be willing to help them grow (and vice versa). It might be a good idea to know oneself and be honest with your wants and needs. Otherwise a lot of hurt can happen, if one isn't honest about their wants and the partner finds out later. There's a lot of factors at play here. I also think it's a good idea to at least read about these topics, if not go to an actual course on relationships.
Wouldn't it make more sense to simply make money, become successful and work out? If I wanted my genes to be spread, this would be the most effective way to do it. If I wanted companionship, I would have my friends and family. If I wanted kids I could find a surrogate or have one with a partner I was dating for a while.
If that's what you want, then do it. Don't assume however that it makes sense to others. Personally, I craved to have someone at my side, to live life with, to grow along, to share experiences, etc. Yes family and friends do that to an extant but it's not quite the same, or it isn't for me. There's many things I've gone through with my husband that wouldn't be something I'd share with family or friends, sorry if this is vague but I'm unwilling to give specifics. And on the contrary, I personally have no desire to spread my genes, I'm happy to not have children but we're abnormal, I guess.
The only advantage I can see for a man to get married in this day and age is if he wants to pass down some of his own cultural and behavioral traits to his children. Even then given the divorce rate and the fact that women get most of the custody, I could simply do all that without marriage.
My husband's reasons to marry me were what I wrote above and he wants no children either. Even if you personally disagree, it's good to gain the perspective of others and see that there may be other reasons than the ones you think. Divorce rates don't worry me and there wouldn't be any custody, because I won't have children but I realise that it's an issue, I think the most suitable parent should have custody, not based on gender.
So what do you think, is marriage worthwhile? Is it a dying institution? Or is there some secret I haven't heard of?
Depends on each person, what they want out of life. I don't think it's necessary, personally. Although there was many romantic reasons for ours, practically it was easier for me to move to this country, since he wasn't going to move to mine. I don't see a problem with people choosing to live however they want to, as long as they don't hurt others. I think it is somewhat dying because it can be expensive (mine wasn't though, it doesn't have to be but a lot of people think it has to be grand), there isn't a stigma against being in a relationship out of marriage and if you're committed you don't need to proclaim it in front of a bunch of people. It's a nice ritual but it's not needed. At least that's my opinion.
There isn't a secret, but I've given you reasons that me, my husband and friends agree to as why marriage was something we wanted. There's probably many more reasons, perhaps some practical ones too. But regardless it's up to individuals to decide for themselves if that's what they want and not just blindly go with what society dictates your life should be like (school, job, date, marry, have children, etc.)
