Telephone scam artists

YmirGF · Jul 21, 2016

Ok. You are sitting quietly minding your own business, doing whatever, when the phone rings, you answer and are greeted by a somewhat friendly voice often speaking in passable, but shaky, English (or whatever language you speak). You spend the next few seconds mulling if you want to have some fun, just hang up or try to sound interested. Normally, I tend to play along for about 30 seconds depending on how pliable my target seems. If I don't get a rise from them, I just hang up.

There is a scam going on here that repeats every 3 months or so. Usually people from India or Pakistan, with extremely difficult to understand accents tell you they are calling from "Windows Support" and that they have noticed a pattern of traffic coming from your computer that indicates you have been infected. They then go on about how serious this is and that you must do something to rectify this problem immediately.

When you play along, they will ask you to open up your remote host software in Windows to ensure that it is enabled so that they can connect to your computer to "fix" your very serious problem. I would not advise that anyone ever take this type of call further than that and certainly do not allow them to access your system.

Variants of this theme ask you to type an IP address into your browser and hit enter. Doing so will automatically hijack your system so it's probably not wise to do as instructed unless you are up for a bit of a science project or want to see how well your anti-virus software does.

What I found hilarious, is yesterday I told the fellow, once I got him to stop talking, that I am an IT professional who has worked in the industry for 20 years and that there was no possibility, whatsoever, what he was telling me was accurate. He didn't seem phased and carried on that this was a very serious matter. I told him that he sounded like a very nice man, but I really had more important things to do.

So, how do you deal with these folks? Any tips on how to deal with them.

Tip #1: From the RCMP... never press any number. Press only the disconnect button to end the call.

Vinayaka · Jul 21, 2016

Generally I hang up immediately, but because I have a Tamil name I get some Tamil speakers. Generally it is from the IRS or RCMP informing me of a fine that can be reduced if I pay immediately. One guy got mad when I asked for his number. These ones target recent immigrants.

Revoltingest · Jul 21, 2016

They always ask me for the model number of a device, generally a copier.
So, I tell them....
"Sector 7G"
(It's Homer Simpson's department at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant.)
They're confused.
So they ask for the brand.
I tell them....
"Fordson"
(It was Henry Ford's tractor brand in the early 1900s.)
They're always confused.

Buttercup · Jul 21, 2016

I only have a cell phone and never answer numbers I don't know. I'm kind of a dud that way.

YmirGF · Jul 21, 2016

Buttercup said:
I only have a cell phone and never answer numbers I don't know. I'm kind of a dud that way.

Yeah, I hear ya. One time I got a call from the VISA security centre. The very nice person, in perfect English, asked me if I had authorized a transaction from Company XXXX for $ .01 (1 cent). I replied that I had not, nor had I ever heard of them. He thanked me and said they were investigating a trend they were monitoring and that his call was standard policy when they spotted such oddball activity. When pressed he added that the transaction was done to see if the account was active and usually preceded far larger transactions once confirmation was received. It never showed up on my bill.

I thanked him profusely for his call.

Ouroboros · Jul 21, 2016

YmirGF said:
So, how do you deal with these folks? Any tips on how to deal with them.

I've gotten their calls many times.

One time, I did what you said, told the guy that I knew what CLSID actually stands for, and it's not "Computer License ID" as they claim, and that the number in the file is the same on ALL my Windows machines. He said I was wrong, and throw some word in his broken Engrisch that I couldn't understand, and because I didn't know whatever the technical word he botched was, I wasn't a tech guy. So I call him an idiot. That didn't sit too well. We had an argument, and he connected me to his supervisor (or rather the guy with a gun to his head), and the guy started arguing too. Then I asked for his name, and he told me that he was going to give me his name, and it was, "F", "U", "C", ... well, you can guess the rest. So I hung up.

Another time I told them that they called in the right time because my machine was acting weird. It was making a noise. And I went to the laundry room and let him hear my tumbler. So I asked him, what's wrong with it. He couldn't answer.

Yet another time, I started to speak Swedish to him. He said, "I dunt understan wat u ar sayjing. R ju speeking anotter languache?" I answer, "Jag förstår inte. Kan du prata svenska?" And he hung up.

And other versions.

Brickjectivity · Jul 21, 2016

YmirGF said:
Ok. You are sitting quietly minding your own business, doing whatever, when the phone rings, you answer and are greeted by a somewhat friendly voice often speaking in passable, but shaky, English (or whatever language you speak). You spend the next few seconds mulling if you want to have some fun, just hang up or try to sound interested. Normally, I tend to play along for about 30 seconds depending on how pliable my target seems. If I don't get a rise from them, I just hang up.

There is a scam going on here that repeats every 3 months or so. Usually people from India or Pakistan, with extremely difficult to understand accents tell you they are calling from "Windows Support" and that they have noticed a pattern of traffic coming from your computer that indicates you have been infected. They then go on about how serious this is and that you must do something to rectify this problem immediately.

When you play along, they will ask you to open up your remote host software in Windows to ensure that it is enabled so that they can connect to your computer to "fix" your very serious problem. I would not advise that anyone ever take this type of call further than that and certainly do not allow them to access your system.

Variants of this theme ask you to type and IP address into your browser and hit enter. Doing so will automatically hijack your system so it's probably not wise to do as instructed unless you are up for a bit of a science project or want to see how well your anti-virus software does.

What I found hilarious, is yesterday I told the fellow, once I got him to stop talking, that I am an IT professional who has worked in the industry for 20 years and that there was no possibility, whatsoever, what he was telling me was accurate. He didn't seem phased and carried on that this was a very serious matter. I told him that he sounded like a very nice man, but I really had more important things to do.

So, how do you deal with these folks? Any tips on how to deal with them.

Tip #1: From the RCMP... never press any number. Press only the disconnect button to end the call.

The sad thing is, I don't think the callers know that their employers are scammers. I, too have gotten these calls multiple times.

YmirGF · Jul 21, 2016

Ouroboros said:
Yet another time, I started to speak Swedish to him. He said, "I dunt understan wat u ar sayjing. R ju speeking anotter languache?" I answer, "Jag förstår inte. Kan du prata svenska?" And he hung up.

And other versions.

I love the Swedish one. I'll try replying with phrases from Rammstein.

"Ich will?"

Buttercup · Jul 21, 2016

YmirGF said:
Yeah, I hear ya. One time I got a call from the VISA security centre. The very nice person, in perfect English, asked me if I had authorized a transaction from Company XXXX for $ .01 (1 cent). I replied that I had not, nor had I ever heard of them. He thanked me and said they were investigating a trend they were monitoring and that his call was standard policy when they spotted such oddball activity. When pressed he added that the transaction was done to see if the account was active and usually preceded far larger transactions once confirmation was received. It never showed up on my bill. I thanked him profusely for his call.

That's very odd and scary.

I've noticed that the reputable callers always leave a message so my SOP is to not answer and then call back if the message is legit.

Ouroboros · Jul 21, 2016

YmirGF said:
I love the Swedish one. I'll try replying with phrases from Rammstein. "Ich will?"

Curse them in German. That would be pretty cool.

Shadow Wolf · Jul 21, 2016

My parent's land line just got a suspicious call the other day. I answered, it sounded like a debt collector (in the passable English with a slight possibly Indian/Pakastanian accent) so I asked who they were calling for, and he said he wasn't calling for anyone but calling everyone in the area to advertise some medical equipment. I said we're not interested, and I could hear him rambling on about something as I put the phone down and pushed the hang-up button.

Ouroboros · Jul 21, 2016

We've gotten the IRS scam calls as well. What bugs me about them is that they're recorded, but not just a simple recording of a person, but a recording of one of those artificial voice boxes. I can usually tell when it's a real person dictating something or a voice box because of the melody of the words. It sounds robotic to me. Here's a robot recorded voice, calling through an automated calling system, to tell me that I have some issue with IRS and my taxes? Uh. No. Don't think so.

Shadow Wolf · Jul 21, 2016

Ouroboros said:
Curse them in German. That would be pretty cool.

German's a waste to curse in. A "STFU" is pretty much telling someone to shut their snout. German's may sound angry, but they tend to borrow English words to curse in because they don't even a B-word or F-you (though in a more recent movie I did hear them use their word, ficken (to have sexual intercourse), as an insult as we would say F-you, rather than using our term as I've heard in several movies before that one).

YmirGF said:
I love the Swedish one. I'll try replying with phrases from Rammstein. "Ich will?"

You could go with "Ich suche gut begauten Achtzen bis Dreißigjährigen zum Schlaten." Bonus points if you can get a knife sharpening sound going on while you do it!

(Ich will is more what the callers are doing)

Vinayaka · Jul 21, 2016

It's funny when the heavy accent says its John Smith calling. The other day I saw a funny sketch on an American calling India in 20 years. Texan accent with Sanjay Patel name.

Ouroboros · Jul 21, 2016

Vinayaka said:
It's funny when the heavy accent says its John Smith calling. The other day I saw a funny sketch on an American calling India in 20 years. Texan accent with Sanjay Patel name.

Reminds me of the time a Texan telemarketing called me and looked for a <my first name> "Zero" <my last name>.

My middle initial is "O".

Terese · Jul 21, 2016

My mother was called by this pseudo telephone company that wanted to give her a lovely package that will give her better coverage on her phone. Apparently she was rung by them many times. The day she gave in, i happened to be there. They asked for her credit card details, but i profusely told her it's a huge scam, looking up the telephone company they even had a website. Google showed me it had one star. She hung up the phone. They never rang her back. She told me she heard some outside voices from where the man was speaking. Dodged a bullet there.

VioletVortex · Jul 28, 2016

A church called me once and I blasted Watain (Satanic black metal) into my phone. They hung up and blocked my number.

I keep getting calls from a drug dealer in New York. They've been repeatedly calling me for the past month. I don't normally pick up wrong numbers. I look the number up, if it's a religious organization, I play the black metal though.

Shadow Wolf · Jul 28, 2016

Iron Wizard said:
A church called me once and I blasted Watain (Satanic black metal) into my phone. They hung up and blocked my number.

They'd probably do the same if you played Carmen, Newsboys, Demon Hunter, Delirious, Micheal W. Smith, or Stephen Curtis Chapman.

Revoltingest · Jul 28, 2016

For those who don't know of "scambaiting".....
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scam_baiting

Yerda · Aug 10, 2016

Revoltingest said:
They always ask me for the model number of a device, generally a copier.
So, I tell them....
"Sector 7G"
(It's Homer Simpson's department at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant.)
They're confused.
So they ask for the brand.
I tell them....
"Fordson"
(It was Henry Ford's tractor brand in the early 1900s.)
They're always confused.

I like to have fun with them, too.

Telephone scam artists

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