Well said. I suffer from not matching the role too. Imagen what its like being the only non macho male at work. :*(
I can often get on well with "masculine" men, myself.
It's mean-spirited females I often go away hurt after interacting with. Then you get their defenders accuse me of being a "*****" or whatever, as if a "real man" should be more like Teflon in such circumstances.
Ironically I've even had that from "feminist" men. When I go away hurt from interactions with a mean-spirited woman, I'm too "thin-skinned", with a snarky attitude of contempt. If the women goes away hurt (or just plays the victim), I'm a victimiser. They think they are defending women's rights in doing that.
Hint: That's not what actual feminism teaches. What feminist theory asserts is that that "thick-skinned" role for men is part of patriarchy, and that the above attitudes are sexist. Some just don't get the memo.
(Incidentally, MRAs show identical concerns here about this toxic expected role for men, but attribute them to different causes e.g. gynocentricism and misandry.)