It is difficult being part of a spiritual community, and supporting an institution, and dealing with conflicts. But working through that difficulty can lead to real spiritual growth. I'm not sure a purely personal spirituality changes anything except our own feelings, and even that I think may not be lasting. If you believe the world is here for a purpose, and not just a distraction from a more-real spiritual realm, it makes sense to be part of a community working to improve and uplift it, not just out there on our own.
It's fine to take a break, or to go somewhere else. But land someplace eventually. The increasing isolationism of thoughtful people away from intentional communities and institutions is one of the things that is leading the world in the wrong direction, and empowering those who ARE in community but whose intellectual, spiritual and emotional development is stunted.
Sorry you're breaking off, hope to see you again, or that you find another community that is more effective for you.
