So is pregnancy. We attempt to avoid it all the same.
Men are not slaves of biology, nor do they want to be.
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What can we do about rape culture in our society?
- Thread starter Galen.Iksnudnard
- Start date
So is pregnancy. We attempt to avoid it all the same.
Men are not slaves of biology, nor do they want to be.
There is no rape culture to dismantle. Why are we having this feminist discussion in Male Issues?
You remind me of an odd situation that occurred to me once.
I used to have a girlfriend, long ago, that was considerably younger than me and seemed to be even younger. A very impressive girl, admirable in so many senses. But she was a virgin and not really willing to change that before marriage or at least a very strong, definite commitment, while I felt a strong need for physical commitment by my turn. At one point she actually admitted to me that she felt the need to speak with her mother and that she pretty much stated that it is not the end of the world to have sex without a marriage. But she simply would not feel at ease with the perception of my physical attraction and need.
It was simply not meant to be, although she was and remains a very dear person to me.
But in the meantime my (female, and as a matter of fact strikingly attractive) therapist actually encouraged me to pressure her, as did a close (female, mother of four) friend of mine.
I dearly wanted to be accepted, though. And pressuring her would hardly have helped in that regard. How could I ever know whether she would accept me unless I respected her feelings all the way?
It hurt to feel rejected by her. It hurt a lot indeed, and even led me to commit fairly serious mistakes at the time. But that one line I refused to cross, and I never repented from that. There was simply no point in even attempting to put her in a position that she did not want to be in.
In retrospect, I conclude that there is a lot of social pressure for people to behave in confortably predictable ways when it comes to love, sex and relationships, and that much of that pressure takes the form of obfuscating and confusing actual feelings and their intensity levels in order to allow or encourage others to make judgements and decisions under ambiguity.
In all honesty, I don't think the line that separates rape - or at least rape attempts - from simple mistakes and intoxicated behavior is nearly as clear as it ought to be.
The best approach to fix that IMO is to let the cat out of the bag and stop pretending that we do not have rape fantasies, or that it does not ever scare us to consider the possibility of rejection when we open our hearts. Or for that matter, that it does not enrage us to feel alone and rejected. Much of the motivation of rape, I believe, is the social demand for people to pretend that they are always ok with loneliness and lack of power over their social environment. It is simply not healthy to have to hide so much.
Excuse me?
Because rape is an issue for males as well as for females, even if the perspectives are slightly different.
Because this site, just like seemingly every site on the net, is a reflection of the bias that exists in society in general.
There's no rape culture just like there is no burglary culture. There's no rape culture just like there is no grand larceny culture. But I bet it sucks when you here something reasonable that's different from what you've been told to believe your entire life
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A lot of Cariocas will be pleased or at least puzzled to learn of that.
There still is no alpha male mythique. If you don't believe in Biology perhaps you believe in Sociology? If women aren't attracted to alpha males how do you explain groupies?
How do you explain these girls screaming at a beatles concert:
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There still is no alpha male mythique. If you don't believe in Biology perhaps you believe in Sociology? If women aren't attracted to alpha males how do you explain groupies?
How do you explain these girls screaming at a beatles concert:
That does not concern my point at all, but it seems that I must be explicit about it: it is men's duty to acknowledge and refuse the dangers that come with the desire to pass an image of strength and self-reliancy.
More feminist talking points. The image and reality of strength and self-reliancy should not be viewed negatively.
Because there is no possible downside to them, is that what you mean?
If disagreeing with that is "feminism", then sure, I am a feminist.
If disagreeing with that is "feminism", then sure, I am a feminist.