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Diary of a Food Addict

dgirl1986

dgirl1986

Big Queer Chesticles!
BrokenHearted2 said:
I really appreciate this thread, and your candidness DGirl. I was a very extra large man (337 lbs) and now I'm down to a simply being a large man(239 lbs my lowest, currently 249) I wear an old leather belt that I've had to poke holes in, and I'm about to add another. My trick has been loading up on the "diabetic free foods" (especially cucumbers, onions, peppers, squash, and mushrooms). I also eat lots of oatmeal (60 cals a bowl)

You see I had a life changing event: a helicopter ride to the stroke/ICU of a large metropolitan hospital. My left side was affected. The miracle IV drug t-PA saved me from hemiplegia (paralysis)

Now I'm doing much better but it's a pendulum thing. I have an exercise bike in my TV room, and an old rowing machine.

I'm a twelve stepper from way back. I was in Alateen as a kid and worked the 12 steps trying to cope with an alcoholic parent. Now I'm also seeking an OA group for support. Anyway I read the entire thread. Good stuff to see someone share a struggle and coming to terms with how your belief system and your knowledge will help and your struggle to change your actions.. You are not alone in your struggle...far from it D...

Anyway I will continue to follow this thread and share whatever thoughts I can.

Here's some things I think you might want to look into:
Deceptively Delicious: Simple Secrets to Get Your Kids Eating Good Food by Jessica Seinfeld I make mashed cauliflower/potato recipe a lot!


Also Diabetic Free Foods (Any Food with less tha 20 cals/5 gms Carbs)
Google Diabetic Free Foods + mayoclinic and check out their lists of beverages,seasonings, veggies, and more.
Click to expand...

Thank you for the response, makes me feel a little better and a bit more positive :) I am a pretty open person and I figured that I couldnt be the only one dealing with this kinda stuff, also I wanted to try and help others understand that weight issues werent just about being lazy and choosing to eat badly.

I am currently 126kg which is 277lb. Id never heard of the term diabetic free foods, thanks for the tip that will help a lot!

How old were you when you ended up in hospital if you dont mind me asking.
 
BrokenHearted2

BrokenHearted2

вяσкєη вυт вєιηg яєѕтσяє∂
I had to learn to write again (I'm left handed) it came back a few weeks but it looks different now. Also spent months in Phys Therapy and speech therapy. I almost look the same but for a while I looked like Two Face fron Batman... ;)
 
Aquitaine

Aquitaine

Well-Known Member
BrokenHearted2 said:
Paul I believe the Title you have really fits you sir! You are very understanding.
Click to expand...

Why thank you, BrokenHearted2.
I've learned a lot since joining RF, and I'm trying to be a more open-minded and understanding person. :D

By the way I'm sorry to hear about your health-collapse, that really sucks. But hey at least you're making steps towards recovery! :yes:
 
dgirl1986

dgirl1986

Big Queer Chesticles!
Epic fail of mass proportions...I was doing so well yesterday. I had a good amount of snacks, I had rice paper rolls for lunch which were delicious. Then the buttered white roll craving started. I put a 5 dollar note in my pocket and went to to the deli but they didn't have any left. I would've picked up the sugarless biscuits but I didn't have enough on me (luckily) but my "need" for these damn rolls was seriously overwhelming so on my way home I stopped at woolies and grabbed a bag of 6 rolls.

I only intended on having 2...I ended up having the whole lot and felt like I was going to explode after. Whole day of good eating RUINED. I hope this gets easier...at least I didn't pick up any biscuits or chocolate like I really wanted to I guess.
 
Aquitaine

Aquitaine

Well-Known Member
dgirl1986 said:
Epic fail of mass proportions...I was doing so well yesterday. I had a good amount of snacks, I had rice paper rolls for lunch which were delicious. Then the buttered white roll craving started. I put a 5 dollar note in my pocket and went to to the deli but they didn't have any left. I would've picked up the sugarless biscuits but I didn't have enough on me (luckily) but my "need" for these damn rolls was seriously overwhelming so on my way home I stopped at woolies and grabbed a bag of 6 rolls.

I only intended on having 2...I ended up having the whole lot and felt like I was going to explode after. Whole day of good eating RUINED. I hope this gets easier...at least I didn't pick up any biscuits or chocolate like I really wanted to I guess.
Click to expand...

There's always gonna be bumps on the road with stuff like this. One of the reasons why I reckon it's better for people to "do it" gradually with realistic expectations, as opposed to suddenly trying to cut everything out immediately: "Right that's it, no more ****, Booze and junk food from now on!".
That just ends up in relapse to be honest.

So yeah, ultimately I wouldn't dwell on it too much, that will only make you feel worse and probably increase your feeling of helplessness. Plus, at least you didn't blow-out on Biscuits and Chocolate, that's gotta account for something, right?
 
dgirl1986

dgirl1986

Big Queer Chesticles!
Aquitaine said:
There's always gonna be bumps on the road with stuff like this. One of the reasons why I reckon it's better for people to "do it" gradually with realistic expectations, as opposed to suddenly trying to cut everything out immediately: "Right that's it, no more ****, Booze and junk food from now on!".
That just ends up in relapse to be honest.

So yeah, ultimately I wouldn't dwell on it too much, that will only make you feel worse and probably increase your feeling of helplessness. Plus, at least you didn't blow-out on Biscuits and Chocolate, that's gotta account for something, right?
Click to expand...

I cant do gradually, tried that a few times and I just end up pigging out on the worst kinds of foods and dont get back on that wagon for a while. Its kind of like a crack addict trying to gradually give it up.

Well I guess 6 buttered bread rolls is better than a block of chocolate, a pack of bikkies and pastries.
 
Aquitaine

Aquitaine

Well-Known Member
dgirl1986 said:
I cant do gradually, tried that a few times and I just end up pigging out on the worst kinds of foods and dont get back on that wagon for a while. Its kind of like a crack addict trying to gradually give it up.

Well I guess 6 buttered bread rolls is better than a block of chocolate, a pack of bikkies and pastries.
Click to expand...

Exactly. Although I do imagine that overcoming something like this is going to be a long-term thing, especially maintaining a healthy weight, which is essentially life-long.

It may get easier though, as you get more accustomed to a new lifestyle. Plus, imagine how good you'll feel at your ideal weight. Of course, I'm only speaking from a "lose weight" perspective, rather than an "Overcome addiction" one - which I have no experience with at all.

Still, not everything has been lost, you knew from Day 1 that this was going to be a struggle, and like I said hiccups do happen, so I'd refrain from beating yourself up over it. :yes:
 
dgirl1986

dgirl1986

Big Queer Chesticles!
Aquitaine said:
Exactly. Although I do imagine that overcoming something like this is going to be a long-term thing, especially maintaining a healthy weight, which is essentially life-long.

It may get easier though, as you get more accustomed to a new lifestyle. Plus, imagine how good you'll feel at your ideal weight. Of course, I'm only speaking from a "lose weight" perspective, rather than an "Overcome addiction" one - which I have no experience with at all.

Still, not everything has been lost, you knew from Day 1 that this was going to be a struggle, and like I said hiccups do happen, so I'd refrain from beating yourself up over it. :yes:
Click to expand...

I will basically be battling this for the rest of my life, but I have been told it gets easier the more you do it.

I have a lot of weight to shift, I dont even remember what it is like to be at a healthy weight so I am looking forward to that.

Trying not to beat myself up about it but I am trying not to become complacent either which I am guilty of as well.
 
Aquitaine

Aquitaine

Well-Known Member
dgirl1986 said:
I will basically be battling this for the rest of my life, but I have been told it gets easier the more you do it.

I have a lot of weight to shift, I dont even remember what it is like to be at a healthy weight so I am looking forward to that.

Trying not to beat myself up about it but I am trying not to become complacent either which I am guilty of as well.
Click to expand...

Aye, and once you start seeing some major results I'm sure not only will your confidence and health improve, but also your motivation and determination to maintain/improve.
 
dgirl1986

dgirl1986

Big Queer Chesticles!
Aquitaine said:
Aye, and once you start seeing some major results I'm sure not only will your confidence and health improve, but also your motivation and determination to maintain/improve.
Click to expand...

I hope so :) my brain tends to try (and usually succeed) in putting me into some kind of delusion that all is ok and I can eat whatever. A sense of entitlement.
 
dgirl1986

dgirl1986

Big Queer Chesticles!
I feel like I am totally kicking my brains butt with this right now! Feeling pretty good about myself. I have been really good for a two whole days without crazy cravings or mood lows etc. And I found a new low calorie/low sugar snack that will hit that sweet spot as well without feeding my sugar addiction! WIN WIN WIN.

After the bread and biscuit incident my weight went up to 127.4kg (280.8lb) but is now back down to 126.1kg (278lb) which doesnt sound like a much but it feels like a proper start. YAY
 
Aquitaine

Aquitaine

Well-Known Member
dgirl1986 said:
I feel like I am totally kicking my brains butt with this right now! Feeling pretty good about myself. I have been really good for a two whole days without crazy cravings or mood lows etc. And I found a new low calorie/low sugar snack that will hit that sweet spot as well without feeding my sugar addiction! WIN WIN WIN.

After the bread and biscuit incident my weight went up to 127.4kg (280.8lb) but is now back down to 126.1kg (278lb) which doesnt sound like a much but it feels like a proper start. YAY
Click to expand...

Sounds good! Just goes to show how important it can be to find healthier alternatives to what you eat. There will of course be more bumps ahead though, but at least you're making progress. Keep up the good work!
 
BrokenHearted2

BrokenHearted2

вяσкєη вυт вєιηg яєѕтσяє∂
It's a day by day thing Bud. Keep on keepin' on!!! :bounce
 
dgirl1986

dgirl1986

Big Queer Chesticles!
I think I have done pretty well over the weekend! I was a little bit naughty on Friday night while out with friends but I wasnt too naughty. The important factor was I didnt have any sugar so this is good.

My appetite was a little strong on Saturday morning but quickly settled down. My cravings are getting less and less, yesterday I actually wasnt that fussed on food and only ate when I felt stupid hungry. I even forgot to have 2 plain biscuits as a treat. Just wow. Hopefully my belly starts shrinking lol.

Finding difficulty in avoiding white breads and that though.
 
BrokenHearted2

BrokenHearted2

вяσкєη вυт вєιηg яєѕтσяє∂
dgirl1986 said:
I think I have done pretty well over the weekend! I was a little bit naughty on Friday night while out with friends but I wasnt too naughty. The important factor was I didnt have any sugar so this is good.

My appetite was a little strong on Saturday morning but quickly settled down. My cravings are getting less and less, yesterday I actually wasnt that fussed on food and only ate when I felt stupid hungry. I even forgot to have 2 plain biscuits as a treat. Just wow. Hopefully my belly starts shrinking lol.

Finding difficulty in avoiding white breads and that though.
Click to expand...

Sounds like you're doing well:D
 
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