It sometimes seems to me that up to at least half the people you ask a personal question of (e.g. "Do you consider yourself especially good at detecting BS?" "Are you honest with people about what you think of them?" "Are you a good judge of character?" etc...) -- at least half the people will answer with what they wish or think should be the case about themselves, rather than with what is actually the case about themselves.
For instance, if they think they should be a good judge of character, they will tell you they are, even if they are routinely blindsided by others.
I sometimes wonder, if all of that is so, then why is it so? Why do so many of us possess such inaccurate views of ourselves? After all, you might expect the person you knew the best to be you yourself.
I have more than one notion about why we can be so ignorant of ourselves. But one of my notions is this: We mistake our desire to be x with being x. That is, suppose we want very much to be a loving person. When we think of ourselves, that desire to be a loving person somehow gets translated into the thought that we actually are a loving person. And that happens because, when we ask ourselves who we are, we look not at our behavior, but at our desires for our self for an answer.
We would not make the same mistake if we looked at our behavior, rather than at our desires to be this or that sort of person. But to look at our behavior is to look at ourselves in pretty much the same way as we often enough typically look at others. That is, we judge what kind of people they are according to the many clues presented by their words and actions -- their behavior. And we do that, rather than seek to find out what they want to be, and then solely judge them according to what they want to be.
So it seems to me that one source of self-ignorance is to pay too much attention to what one wants to be when considering what one is. But what other sources of self-ignorance are there? If possible, please describe how, precisely, they bring about self-ignorance. And what, if anything, can be done about them.
For instance, if they think they should be a good judge of character, they will tell you they are, even if they are routinely blindsided by others.
I sometimes wonder, if all of that is so, then why is it so? Why do so many of us possess such inaccurate views of ourselves? After all, you might expect the person you knew the best to be you yourself.
I have more than one notion about why we can be so ignorant of ourselves. But one of my notions is this: We mistake our desire to be x with being x. That is, suppose we want very much to be a loving person. When we think of ourselves, that desire to be a loving person somehow gets translated into the thought that we actually are a loving person. And that happens because, when we ask ourselves who we are, we look not at our behavior, but at our desires for our self for an answer.
We would not make the same mistake if we looked at our behavior, rather than at our desires to be this or that sort of person. But to look at our behavior is to look at ourselves in pretty much the same way as we often enough typically look at others. That is, we judge what kind of people they are according to the many clues presented by their words and actions -- their behavior. And we do that, rather than seek to find out what they want to be, and then solely judge them according to what they want to be.
So it seems to me that one source of self-ignorance is to pay too much attention to what one wants to be when considering what one is. But what other sources of self-ignorance are there? If possible, please describe how, precisely, they bring about self-ignorance. And what, if anything, can be done about them.
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I believe Sunstone and Me Myself are onto something. People really like to think they are good, and doing the right thing.