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Love is overrated........Or is it?

Mr. Skittles

Mr. Skittles

Active Member
The following video pretty much sums up how I feel about love:

[youtube]VDcMnVvaUUc[/youtube]
What about love? - YouTube

Perhaps my attitude about love is based on a series of personal experiences I've had with some women. But as Al Pacino says: "Love is overrated." I hate to sound pessimistic as well as scientific on the whole issue of whether love exists but I am willing to extend the hypothesis in that love is biochemically no different than a child who shares an emotional bond with a stuffed animal. Only obvious difference is that love of a stuffed animal is different from an animate person such as a human or a house pet. Love is conditional, untrustworthy, and contingent upon reciprocity which is why like Pacino states, is biochemically no different than eating large quantities of chocolate. Perhaps love can be looked at for aesthetic purposes.
 
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Sunstone

Sunstone

De Diablo Del Fora
Premium Member
Many people can't tell the difference between love and co-dependency. Probably because they've experienced more co-dependency in their lives than love.
 
michel

michel

Administrator Emeritus
Staff member
Sunstone said:
Many people can't tell the difference between love and co-dependency. Probably because they've experienced more co-dependency in their lives than love.
Click to expand...

I think there's a lot of truth in that. Having said that, I have always tried to go through life believing that "Love conquers all, let us always cede to love". So far, that hasn't worked out for me - but I refuse to give in; I hope when I die, I am still believing that...
 
Penumbra

Penumbra

Veteran Member
Premium Member
Mr. Skittles said:
The following video pretty much sums up how I feel about love:

[youtube]VDcMnVvaUUc[/youtube]
What about love? - YouTube

Perhaps my attitude about love is based on a series of personal experiences I've had with some women. But as Al Pacino says: "Love is overrated." I hate to sound pessimistic as well as scientific on the whole issue of whether love exists but I am willing to extend the hypothesis in that love is biochemically no different than a child who shares an emotional bond with a stuffed animal. Only obvious difference is that love of a stuffed animal is different from an animate person such as a human or a house pet. Love is conditional, untrustworthy, and contingent upon reciprocity which is why like Pacino states, is biochemically no different than eating large quantities of chocolate. Perhaps love can be looked at for aesthetic purposes.
Click to expand...
So you're not going to bother to engage in any relationships then, or no?
 
dawny0826

dawny0826

Mother Heathen
Love isn't conditional, untrustworthy or contingent upon reciprocity.

People are all of these things. Our feelings are simply as they are. How we choose to act upon feelings, lead our lives and nuture relationships are contingent upon the choices that we make.

There isn't a relationship in this world that's guranteed a happy ending. Relationships require compatability, spark, patience and a plethora of other factors completely contingent upon individuals and circumstances.
 
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ChristineES

ChristineES

Tiggerism
Premium Member
Don't mistake attraction for love. I know of a lot of people who think they are in love, get married and end up disliking each other. It wasn't love, it was a mutual attraction. But love isn't underrated, we don't just love our gf, bf, spouses, etc. but our parents, our siblings, our children, our friends, ourselves, and so on. Love isn't only about sex (I know that no one insinuated that).
 
Sirktas

Sirktas

Magician
I do not desire to de dependant upon anyone else for my personal happiness...

Perhaps, I am afraid to become to attached to another person, for they will always leave me in the end (because that is the nature of things.) ,yet I find myself unconsciously 'searching'. Whether what I'm trying to find is internal or external, I do not know...

All I can say regarding the issue of a long term romantic relationship between two people is that the best relationships I have had were all 'in the moment' and ultimately fleeting. I do see companionship as a positive thing, so long as it is mutually rewarding, but it seems that those things that make you feel the best can also make you feel the worst.

Too many times I seemed to have 'lost' regarding relationships...

I say more power to those who can find true happiness in bonding with another romantically.
 
Me Myself

Me Myself

Back to my username
Love: to be happy because of someone else`s happiness.

I think that`s as healthy an emotion as you can get.
 
Mr. Skittles

Mr. Skittles

Active Member
Sunstone said:
Many people can't tell the difference between love and co-dependency. Probably because they've experienced more co-dependency in their lives than love.
Click to expand...

But how is love as expressed in marriage no different than co-depemdemcy? Isn't that the whole purpose of marriage is to be at least partially dependent?
 
Mr. Skittles

Mr. Skittles

Active Member
Penumbra said:
So you're not going to bother to engage in any relationships then, or no?
Click to expand...

I currently engage in sexual relationships yes, but as I mentioned prior, I am pessimistic when it comes to love. No offense I don't trust women. I see my male friends struggle in marriage. Deal with their wives infidelity, and I see the attitudes of today's women when it comes to dating. In this day and age relationships are taken as a joke.
 
Penumbra

Penumbra

Veteran Member
Premium Member
Mr. Skittles said:
I currently engage in sexual relationships yes, but as I mentioned prior, I am pessimistic when it comes to love. No offense I don't trust women. I see my male friends struggle in marriage. Deal with their wives infidelity, and I see the attitudes of today's women when it comes to dating. In this day and age relationships are taken as a joke.
Click to expand...
It seems possible to me that you might get out of it what you put into it.

Relationships, I mean.
 
Mr. Skittles

Mr. Skittles

Active Member
dawny0826 said:
Love isn't conditional, untrustworthy or contingent upon reciprocity.

People are all of these things. Our feelings are simply as they are. How we choose to act upon feelings, lead our lives and nuture relationships are contingent upon the choices that we make.

There isn't a relationship in this world that's guranteed a happy ending. Relationships require compatability, spark, patience and a plethora of other factors completely contingent upon individuals and circumstances.
Click to expand...

I disagree.. All relationships are contingent upon mutual reciprocity. Excuse me, most relationships are contingent upon mutual reciprocity. Can you provide demonstrable evidence that a husband and wife who are married and are "in love" do not have a condition for their union?

Let me give you a hint.....

To not cheat,

Death,

Sickness,

ETC
 
Mr. Skittles

Mr. Skittles

Active Member
Sirktas said:
I do not desire to de dependant upon anyone else for my personal happiness...

Perhaps, I am afraid to become to attached to another person, for they will always leave me in the end (because that is the nature of things.) ,yet I find myself unconsciously 'searching'. Whether what I'm trying to find is internal or external, I do not know...

All I can say regarding the issue of a long term romantic relationship between two people is that the best relationships I have had were all 'in the moment' and ultimately fleeting. I do see companionship as a positive thing, so long as it is mutually rewarding, but it seems that those things that make you feel the best can also make you feel the worst.

Too many times I seemed to have 'lost' regarding relationships...

I say more power to those who can find true happiness in bonding with another romantically.
Click to expand...


To be married or the desire to be married is also a desire to be dependent upon someone else. That is not to say that you depend on someone else to be happy but there is a level of co-dependency.
 
Penumbra

Penumbra

Veteran Member
Premium Member
Mr. Skittles said:
Perhaps, but in today's age most often than not I am the one who is more proactive in relationships than the other.
Click to expand...
Speaking for myself, if I had a partner that turned this into a gender issue by saying that he didn't trust women, he'd be single pretty quick.

I don't enter relationships with people who inherently don't trust me. He can find another girl, one that is ok with her partner not trusting her.
 
Mr. Skittles

Mr. Skittles

Active Member
Penumbra said:
Speaking for myself, if I had a partner that turned this into a gender issue by saying that he didn't trust women, he'd be single pretty quick.

I don't enter relationships with people who inherently don't trust me. He can find another girl, one that is ok with her partner not trusting her.
Click to expand...

Well I'm not dumb enough to engage in any relationship and say "hey I don't trust you." I think in any new relationship lack of trust is quite obvious. If not, then I'd be foolish to engage in any relationship male or female with arms wide. I typically get the cliche "hey I'm different" so after a while, one tends to get sick of that.

But back to the subject of love....

this is all the more reason why I am skeptical of people, both male and female.
 
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