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The 'Intelligent Falling' Theory

tom_mich

Member
Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory
August 17, 2005

KANSAS CITY, KS—As the debate over the teaching of evolution in public schools continues, a new controversy over the science curriculum arose Monday in this embattled Midwestern state. Scientists from the Evangelical Center For Faith-Based Reasoning are now asserting that the long-held "theory of gravity" is flawed, and they have responded to it with a new theory of Intelligent Falling.

Rev. Gabriel Burdett (left) explains Intelligent Falling.
"Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational force, but because a higher intelligence, 'God' if you will, is pushing them down," said Gabriel Burdett, who holds degrees in education, applied Scripture, and physics from Oral Roberts University.

Burdett added: "Gravity—which is taught to our children as a law—is founded on great gaps in understanding. The laws predict the mutual force between all bodies of mass, but they cannot explain that force. Isaac Newton himself said, 'I suspect that my theories may all depend upon a force for which philosophers have searched all of nature in vain.' Of course, he is alluding to a higher power."

Founded in 1987, the ECFR is the world's leading institution of evangelical physics, a branch of physics based on literal interpretation of the Bible.

According to the ECFR paper published simultaneously this week in the International Journal Of Science and the adolescent magazine God's Word For Teens!, there are many phenomena that cannot be explained by secular gravity alone, including such mysteries as how angels fly, how Jesus ascended into Heaven, and how Satan fell when cast out of Paradise.

The ECFR, in conjunction with the Christian Coalition and other Christian conservative action groups, is calling for public-school curriculums to give equal time to the Intelligent Falling theory. They insist they are not asking that the theory of gravity be banned from schools, but only that students be offered both sides of the issue "so they can make an informed decision."

"We just want the best possible education for Kansas' kids," Burdett said.

Proponents of Intelligent Falling assert that the different theories used by secular physicists to explain gravity are not internally consistent. Even critics of Intelligent Falling admit that Einstein's ideas about gravity are mathematically irreconcilable with quantum mechanics. This fact, Intelligent Falling proponents say, proves that gravity is a theory in crisis.

"Let's take a look at the evidence," said ECFR senior fellow Gregory Lunsden."In Matthew 15:14, Jesus says, 'And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch.' He says nothing about some gravity making them fall—just that they will fall. Then, in Job 5:7, we read, 'But mankind is born to trouble, as surely as sparks fly upwards.' If gravity is pulling everything down, why do the sparks fly upwards with great surety? This clearly indicates that a conscious intelligence governs all falling."

Critics of Intelligent Falling point out that gravity is a provable law based on empirical observations of natural phenomena. Evangelical physicists, however, insist that there is no conflict between Newton's mathematics and Holy Scripture.

"Closed-minded gravitists cannot find a way to make Einstein's general relativity match up with the subatomic quantum world," said Dr. Ellen Carson, a leading Intelligent Falling expert known for her work with the Kansan Youth Ministry. "They've been trying to do it for the better part of a century now, and despite all their empirical observation and carefully compiled data, they still don't know how."

"Traditional scientists admit that they cannot explain how gravitation is supposed to work," Carson said. "What the gravity-agenda scientists need to realize is that 'gravity waves' and 'gravitons' are just secular words for 'God can do whatever He wants.'"

Some evangelical physicists propose that Intelligent Falling provides an elegant solution to the central problem of modern physics.

"Anti-falling physicists have been theorizing for decades about the 'electromagnetic force,' the 'weak nuclear force,' the 'strong nuclear force,' and so-called 'force of gravity,'" Burdett said. "And they tilt their findings toward trying to unite them into one force. But readers of the Bible have already known for millennia what this one, unified force is: His name is Jesus."

(compliments of The Onion)
 

michel

Administrator Emeritus
Staff member
God obviously hasn't much of a 'push' in spacecrafts, then, or on the surface of the moon.............maybe he is too busy keeping us all down here..:biglaugh:
 

Fatmop

Active Member
That's a pretty good one. I remember being pointed to it the day it was printed from a weblog or two...
 

Quiddity

UndertheInfluenceofGiants
tom_mich said:
"What the gravity-agenda scientists need to realize is that 'gravity waves' and 'gravitons' are just secular words for 'God can do whatever He wants.'"

Wow...:eek: . I suggest you duck. Tomatoes coming your way.

~Victor
 

Engyo

Prince of Dorkness!
Victor said:
Wow...:eek: . I suggest you duck. Tomatoes coming your way.

~Victor
Victor -

Are they aimed at the Onion, for writing the piece, or at Tom, for bringing it to our attention? Are the tomatoes from you, or elsewhere?
 

Dayv

Member
I love the onion, and, although insanely satirical, this article has a good point mixed into it. There is about as much proof for gravity as there is for evolution, but yet you don't often hear anyone demanding it be taken out of textbooks.
 

Quiddity

UndertheInfluenceofGiants
Engyo said:
Victor -

Are they aimed at the Onion, for writing the piece, or at Tom, for bringing it to our attention? Are the tomatoes from you, or elsewhere?
You make a good point. It would all depend on where tom stands on the issue. :)

~Victor
 

Angama

Member
tom_mich said:
"Closed-minded gravitists cannot find a way to make Einstein's general relativity match up with the subatomic quantum world," said Dr. Ellen Carson, a leading Intelligent Falling expert known for her work with the Kansan Youth Ministry. "They've been trying to do it for the better part of a century now, and despite all their empirical observation and carefully compiled data, they still don't know how."
Interesting...
Any science guru to varify this? How about fatbroom or fatmop or whatever his name is. He seems to find joy in stumping these type of comments. :)

AA
 

Shadow Wolf

Certified People sTabber
Dammit, someone else is trying to blame God for Payton Mannings passes in the playoff games against the Patriots falling into the hands of those cold loving heathens. And for making 30 consecutive bumps in a wrestling ring hurt like hell. I can't stand the idea of an anti-Colts God.

I think that was posted a few months ago, too. And then again. And now again.
I think this is the second, possible third, time I've seen this hypothesis on this forum.
 

Ormiston

Well-Known Member
Dayv said:
I love the onion, and, although insanely satirical, this article has a good point mixed into it. There is about as much proof for gravity as there is for evolution, but yet you don't often hear anyone demanding it be taken out of textbooks.
That's because the theory of gravity and evolution are useful and, although not perfect, remain very accurate. I'm not sure how incorporating scripture into scientific theories improves their usefulness. In fact, scientists would never claim any law to be absolute, but once you claim its a law of God it suddenly becomes just that.
 

Idontknow

Member
Not to be offensive but i will, thats a very funny theory and the idea of anyone believing it, is much more more funny.
 

FFH

Veteran Member
Interesting. I was just thinking about this stuff. At www.sylviabrowne.com (a prophetess) she predicts that there will soon be antigravity type personal vehicles. This is a prediction that she made under the heading "Predictions for the next 100 years". It is all on this site. It is very interesting. She even talks about a very advanced electric battery that would be used to power electric cars. I forget the name of the battery. I think she used the term atomic battery or something like that.
 

FFH

Veteran Member
I had an antigravitaionaal experience that I believe was from God. I was on a bicycle and was going downhill on a paved road on Mt. Fuji as a missionary when I came upon a curb and hit the front brakes so hard that I flew off the bike when it catapulted me off. I was in the air upside down and was set back down on my feet by the power of God. God set me back on my feet as light as a feather. I would have had serious injuries, otherwise, because I was going about 30 miles an hour downhill. I was in Japan on a paved road at the base of Mt Fuji. We were flying down this long paved road at night with low visibility. I did not see the curb until I was right on it. I did not hit the curb because I hit the front brakes so hard. This is what made me airborne at 30 miles an hour. I did not have a scratch me. God set me back down on my feet as light as a feather. I was unharmed.
 

Ormiston

Well-Known Member
Faith_is_an_assurance said:
I had an antigravitaionaal experience that I believe was from God. I was on a bicycle and was going downhill on a paved road on Mt. Fuji as a missionary when I came upon a curb and hit the front brakes so hard that I flew off the bike when it catapulted me off. I was in the air upside down and was set back down on my feet by the power of God. God set me back on my feet as light as a feather. I would have had serious injuries, otherwise, because I was going about 30 miles an hour downhill. I was in Japan on a paved road at the base of Mt Fuji. We were flying down this long paved road at night with low visibility. I did not see the curb until I was right on it. I did not hit the curb because I hit the front brakes so hard. This is what made me airborne at 30 miles an hour. I did not have a scratch me. God set me back down on my feet as light as a feather. I was unharmed.
Do you think he would do the same for a non-Christian like me? Did you go back to the top of the hill and do it all over again just to make sure God was responsible? How come he never saves passenger jets too?
 

Shadow Wolf

Certified People sTabber
I've had a few experiences that could have ended up with me being hurt. Odd things happened, and I didn't get hurt at all, or not very badly. I was very tired at work last night, my last night closing at Arbys, and I moved my hand to get a piece of beef of the slicer, and my hand draged across the plate that leads to the blade. Instead of having the tip of my finger sliced off, my finger twitched at the last second, and I only ended up losing just enough skin to make that side of my finger flat instead of round.
 
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