• Welcome to Religious Forums, a friendly forum to discuss all religions in a friendly surrounding.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Access to private conversations with other members.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon!

What'd You Get From Conference

silvermoon383

Well-Known Member
Well, another conference has come and gone, so I guess now's the time to see what everyone thought about it.

For me, I enjoyed most of the talks (I'll let you know how priesthood was once the transcripts are out. I didn't get a chance to go), and they had some great things for me to think about, especially with their focus on going out and doing the Gospel. President Monson caught me off guard in the Sunday morning session when he brought up "one more temple". When he said that it is to be in a city 2500 years old for a moment I thought he was going to announce a temple in Jerusalem! XD

Now there was 1 thing that was kinda grating for me. In every single session someone (sometimes more than 1) brought up us YSAs and rebuked our lack of marriage. Or more accurately, patting the women on the head saying everything will be ok then turning and rebuking us men for not marrying the women.

Are there lots of YSA men who aren't courting or dating? Courting sure, but in many cases it's not their fault. For all the harping on men's lack of commitment I never seem to hear about the women who won't commit. Now I'm not perfect about my dating (it's been close to a year since my last date), but a friend and partner of mine has been actively dating but is constantly let down by the women. As for people like me, simply glaring and ordering me to date isn't going to accomplish anything. I'm a complete introvert. As much as I enjoy YSA activities, sometimes it seems like the leadership is trying to get us to connect by throwing us all into a room and hoping some stick. Well sorry, but the only thing I've ever stuck to is the wall.

So to quickly summarize: Don't just harp on the men, harp on the women too. They have just as much a share of the blame.
 

madhatter85

Transhumanist
I think your bring up a valid point. However, I am particularly fond of the "be a man/John Wayne" approach and that seems to be prevalent in talking with the YSA priesthood body. Throw yourself into the fire; so what if you get burned a few times? Adversity makes you a stringer human being.

I think you and your friend have been probably chasing the wrong type of woman. Now, I don't know what your situation is and I may be totally off base but maybe sharing my own experience may help?

I was a huge wallflower and introvert when I was younger. I didn't want to ask a girl to dance because of the fear of rejection, fear of embarrassment. After talking with a friend of mine for a long while about it, I finally got up the courage at a stake dance to finally ask a girl to the dance floor. The conversation went something like this:

Me: "Hi.... I was wondering if you wanted to dance with me?"
an awkward few second pause....
Her: "No way!"

Guess what? I learned a lesson. Rejection on that level is meaningless. So what if some girl says no? I had lost nothing by asking and gained valuable information.Then I went into retail and car sales for a few years before I got my dream job which pulled me further out of my shell by necessity. I had no fallback plan, my mother was living in Belgium and I was on my own. It was either sink or swim.

Yes, being an introvert is hard to get out there and make new friends. But the Savior knows our own struggles. Our natures can be changed. nobody is "set in their ways" change is always possible through the atonement. Everyone one of the people you have ever met was once your brother and sister in the pre-existence. For a long time I have had a hard time trying to see women as the "daughters of god" that they are. I am finally getting somewhere with that. My point is that you can make yourself whoever you want to be with the help of Christ. That is what the gospel is about, taking action, removing obstacles.

I really hope the best for you. We have also been told that those of us who did not have the opportunity to marry here will have the opportunity later. It is only fair. Heck, in the meantime I would be living up the single life. I did the math on how much less I would spend If i were single. It is so much cheaper. Diapers, wives' student loans, food, clothes, are expensive! enjoy your freedom dude!
 

Arkholt

Non-vessel
I understand the consternation about men being "harped on," but I think Elder Holland did a wonderful job in his talk in mentioning that the talks that are given are meant to be very broad and general. We are a very diverse church. Everyone has a special situation, and must deal with it as they can. If they think the particular talk applies to them, then they will apply it to themselves. If they think that it doesn't... well, it doesn't have to.

Another talk I really liked (though I had a single issue with) was the one about being and doing, from Elder Lynn G. Robbins. I think he expressed a very important sentiment regarding who we are and what we do. They are certainly connected, to an extent, but one is sometimes more important than the other.

I did take issue with one part, though, and this was a very small part of the talk and is most likely just a personal opinion of his. To paraphrase, he was saying that asking children what they want to be when they grow up didn't make a lot of sense, as what someone's job is doesn't necessarily define who they are. I don't think I completely agree with that. When I was a child, I always wanted to be an artist and cartoonist. I haven't entirely achieved that goal, but I do fine art and comic strip art and am constantly working to improve my skill. I want to make art my career. I think of it as a part of me, and it certainly defines who I am. I achieved this because at a young age I decided that it's what I wanted to do. Is that necessarily wrong?
 

Katzpur

Not your average Mormon
President Monson caught me off guard in the Sunday morning session when he brought up "one more temple". When he said that it is to be in a city 2500 years old for a moment I thought he was going to announce a temple in Jerusalem! XD
When we turned the TV on for the Sunday morning session, the snow had knocked out our cable system and we couldn't get a think. By the time we actually found a radio (you know, one of those gadgets with no picture, just sound), we'd missed the first half hour of the session. So, I didn't even hear about another temple. Where's it going to be?

Now there was 1 thing that was kinda grating for me. In every single session someone (sometimes more than 1) brought up us YSAs and rebuked our lack of marriage. Or more accurately, patting the women on the head saying everything will be ok then turning and rebuking us men for not marrying the women.

Are there lots of YSA men who aren't courting or dating? Courting sure, but in many cases it's not their fault. For all the harping on men's lack of commitment I never seem to hear about the women who won't commit. Now I'm not perfect about my dating (it's been close to a year since my last date), but a friend and partner of mine has been actively dating but is constantly let down by the women. As for people like me, simply glaring and ordering me to date isn't going to accomplish anything. I'm a complete introvert. As much as I enjoy YSA activities, sometimes it seems like the leadership is trying to get us to connect by throwing us all into a room and hoping some stick. Well sorry, but the only thing I've ever stuck to is the wall.

So to quickly summarize: Don't just harp on the men, harp on the women too. They have just as much a share of the blame.
LOL! The women got raked over the coals a couple of years back by Sister Beck. We're still nursing our wounds over her talk, so you maybe it's the men's turn to get made to feel like failures. ;)
 
Last edited:

madhatter85

Transhumanist
I understand the consternation about men being "harped on," but I think Elder Holland did a wonderful job in his talk in mentioning that the talks that are given are meant to be very broad and general. We are a very diverse church. Everyone has a special situation, and must deal with it as they can. If they think the particular talk applies to them, then they will apply it to themselves. If they think that it doesn't... well, it doesn't have to.

Another talk I really liked (though I had a single issue with) was the one about being and doing, from Elder Lynn G. Robbins. I think he expressed a very important sentiment regarding who we are and what we do. They are certainly connected, to an extent, but one is sometimes more important than the other.

I did take issue with one part, though, and this was a very small part of the talk and is most likely just a personal opinion of his. To paraphrase, he was saying that asking children what they want to be when they grow up didn't make a lot of sense, as what someone's job is doesn't necessarily define who they are. I don't think I completely agree with that. When I was a child, I always wanted to be an artist and cartoonist. I haven't entirely achieved that goal, but I do fine art and comic strip art and am constantly working to improve my skill. I want to make art my career. I think of it as a part of me, and it certainly defines who I am. I achieved this because at a young age I decided that it's what I wanted to do. Is that necessarily wrong?

I don't think it is wrong at all. When I was 10 they asked me what I wanted to do in school and I defined my goals then. I wanted to go to MIT and major in Mathematics and Physics. That never happened. There are people who are very driven individuals. They don't stop for anything. They just keep going and eventually get to their goals. Once they achieve that, they make new goals.

I can see what he means though. I don't think it applies to everyone however. for some people what they do for employment does not define who they are as an individual at all. I am not one of them. What I do now is a direct result of who I wanted to be as my goals shifted here and there as I grew up.

I hope you get to make your artwork your lively-hood. there is no better feeling than loving what you get paid to do. Work does not have to be "Work." That is the great big lie of the working class. "It's not work if you like doing it." Rubbish. some people enjoy challenges and learning.
 

silvermoon383

Well-Known Member
When we turned the TV on for the Sunday morning session, the snow had knocked out our cable system and we couldn't get a think. By the time we actually found a radio (you know, one of those gadgets with no picture, just sound), we'd missed the first half hour of the session. So, I didn't even hear about another temple. Where's it going to be?

I'm not sure if it was newly announced this conference since he started talking about the groundbreaking, but he was referring to the Rome temple.
 

Katzpur

Not your average Mormon
I'm not sure if it was newly announced this conference since he started talking about the groundbreaking, but he was referring to the Rome temple.
Oh, okay... I heard him mention the groundbreaking. So they didn't announce any new temples?
 

tomato1236

Ninja Master
I'm not going to quote anybody here cuz who cares. But I do have some things to say.

Dating and marriage -- It's understandable that you would have an allergic reaction to counsel to go date and marry if that's something you're not doing. And although I can relate to difficulties (particularly in the singles' ward environment) in finding and asking and dating and marrying, I do not sympathize at all if you're not trying. I didn't meet my wife until I was 26 years old. I rarely asked girls out unless I already knew for certain they already had some interest in me. But I was always trying. I was always trying to put myself in situations and involvements where I would have the chance to get to know girls (without randomly walking up to them and asking them out). My point is, even if you suck at dating in the traditional sense, you can find ways of courting that you're comfortable with. I found that the girls who had a fantastic time at FHE playing charades with the perma-smile FHE guys weren't the ones I was interested in anyway. And eventually I just found one that was right. After dating plenty of weirdies. Don't get bothered. Just follow the counsel. Just because obedience is difficult doesn't make you an exception.

BTW I met my wife like this: My cousin wanted me to ask a certain girl out, so I looked her up on Facebook and I wasn't interested at all. But her little sister was cute. :D We chatted a bit and I asked for her number. We talked on the phone a while until we were comfortable and still interested, and she invited me to her birthday party. Then I called and asked her out and everything just felt better than with the other girls.

So yes. Facebook is a viable way to heed the prophet's counsel. :D
 
Last edited:

tomato1236

Ninja Master
Regarding identifying with your work--

This is something I recently had a conversation with my wife about. She's been in college for several years and will be graduating soon. She's been struggling with questions of identity because "student" has been such a large part of her identity for so long, she's not sure what she'll "be" after she graduates. She's been toying with ideas of working full-time after graduation to avoid "being just a stay at home mom" (thanks a lot, women's studies @ BYU). I'd be all for her getting a full-time job, except we have an 8-month old son who needs some care. I told her I'd stay home if it was really important to her to work, fyi.

Anyway, this illustrates my view that it's important to have an identity independent of your activities. I'm an artist, too. Er...I'm a guy who is good at art. I always took issue when people would see me drawing and say, "Oh, you're an artist". I'm so many more things than an artist. I always felt I was limited by those identifiers. Especially if they labeled my with something I'm kinda good at, but isn't my best skill, like "Oh, you're a writer". Well I like to write, but I mean, come on. And what happens if I put all my stock in my artwork or my writing and I fail? Am I "a failure"? No, I just blew it at writing or art. Who cares? I can go play chess or sing or learn martial arts or rock climb instead, or I can just try again. Because no matter what happens in my activities, I'm a legitimate, intelligent, motivated person who strongly believes that if someone else can do it, so can I.

I'm also a Workforce Management Analyst. Heaven forbid this should engulf my identity. I could be fired at any time. And I would have to believe I'm a boring person whose only purpose is limited to sending emails every day.

Your identity (I hope) does run deeper than one certain activity you're destined to do. Even if you're fantastic at that thing.
 
Top