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Letting children decide for themselves
- Thread starter Misty
- Start date
But the context is 'respect for others', Misty.
Well done. Unusual self-control.
I don't respect the God character of the Bible it is depicted as an evil monster and worse than any human, even Hitler. But when the kids were small we didn't discuss the merits or demerits of God, he was rarely mentioned. They knew the Bible stories, because that is part of general knowledge.
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kejos
Active Member
Speaking of Hilter, do spare us the propaganda.
it's_sam
Freak of Nature
I do believe that children need to see things for themselves to be able to learn, but this growth also has to have a direction that includes mind, heart and body. I don't feel it's important like it won't happen if not but it will lead this growth in a well rounded manner instead of just what the child happens to think is best and is what happens so deal with it. When you are telling your kids the outcome of a event to help them from harm, you are telling them the begginings of religion. The lifestyle we live today IS religion. We do not have national leaders that will invade, daily rape, pillage, and then run off till the next time. we still teach this to avoid those days comming back at full force if not even one night due to the outcome. You can say "people will do the right thing" all you want but i TRULY know what people will do when left to their own devices and its not pretty.
Speaking of Hilter, do spare us the propaganda.
Ehhhhhhhhhhhh?
kejos
Active Member
Hilter. Also known as Hitler. You know, the guy who took every opportunity to propagandise.
Kathryn
It was on fire when I laid down on it.
This thread has developed a very nasty tone.
I believe that parents should give their children guidance, and teach them critical thinking skills as well. Of course, a parent must HAVE critical thinking skills in order to teach them to their children.
Ahhh, there's the rub.
Kids are very perceptive. If we have disdain for a particular belief system, they will probably pick up on that disdain over the course of about 20 years of life in our house. Disdain is hard to hide. So is prejudice, and stupidity. For that matter, it's also hard to hide admiration.
Galatians 5:22-23
22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
If these attributes are present in our own lives, our kids will see them. They will want what we have, and will seek the source.
I believe that parents should give their children guidance, and teach them critical thinking skills as well. Of course, a parent must HAVE critical thinking skills in order to teach them to their children.
Ahhh, there's the rub.
Kids are very perceptive. If we have disdain for a particular belief system, they will probably pick up on that disdain over the course of about 20 years of life in our house. Disdain is hard to hide. So is prejudice, and stupidity. For that matter, it's also hard to hide admiration.
Galatians 5:22-23
22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
If these attributes are present in our own lives, our kids will see them. They will want what we have, and will seek the source.
kejos
Active Member
That's a nasty thing to write.
As I said we allowed our children to do their own thing faithwise, you can't be more reasonable than that imo.
Two of our kids believe in God. One is undecided. And one is an atheist.
The guidance that we've given our kids in regards to religion is two-fold:
1) It's a journey. You may change directions, take detours, get a little lost, ask for directions, cruise the Autobahn, etc. But the point is to enjoy the ride and not get hung up on the destination so much.
2) Everybody has their own journey to take. Give them the dignity to take their own.
Basically, continuing introspection and tolerance is what we have been teaching our kids throughout the years. We don't see teaching one dogma over another to go hand in hand to what we feel is important when it comes to religion.
The guidance that we've given our kids in regards to religion is two-fold:
1) It's a journey. You may change directions, take detours, get a little lost, ask for directions, cruise the Autobahn, etc. But the point is to enjoy the ride and not get hung up on the destination so much.
2) Everybody has their own journey to take. Give them the dignity to take their own.
Basically, continuing introspection and tolerance is what we have been teaching our kids throughout the years. We don't see teaching one dogma over another to go hand in hand to what we feel is important when it comes to religion.
We were always honest with out kids about everything. I don't actually remember them asking questions about matters of faith. In the UK unless people are very religious it doesn't crop up as dinner table conversation in most homes, I suspect.
Kathryn
It was on fire when I laid down on it.
I think that we have to be attune to the core of our childrens' questions. What is the basic fear/insecurity/joy/reason for their questions?
We can live our faith or lack of faith every day and that's one form of guidance. But sometimes our kids need concrete, definitive answers on moral and philosophical matters.
I think parents should have those answers ready. And there's nothing wrong with adding this caveat: "I believe this because_____(fill in the blank). Some people don't believe as I do about this. As you grow and mature, you may come to different conclusions than I have. In fact, as I continue to grow and mature, I may change my beliefs. But - my opinion makes sense to me because ________."
We can live our faith or lack of faith every day and that's one form of guidance. But sometimes our kids need concrete, definitive answers on moral and philosophical matters.
I think parents should have those answers ready. And there's nothing wrong with adding this caveat: "I believe this because_____(fill in the blank). Some people don't believe as I do about this. As you grow and mature, you may come to different conclusions than I have. In fact, as I continue to grow and mature, I may change my beliefs. But - my opinion makes sense to me because ________."
it's_sam
Freak of Nature
Let's look at the facts, going back to the ancient times all the areas had tribes or societies of people. They were all different wich would imply they all came to seperate realizations that concluded on a similair understanding of what was around them. Now you can attribute this to people spreading the word, wich im sure your allready doing. If you look on the other side of the world at the native americans, mayans, aztecs, etc... they had no influence like this at the time but they did have their Gods and rituals for maintaining a happy life for them and their people. You don't have to be a part of it but exactly how much proof are you expecting that you havnt allready gotten? When all sides of the world in a time of no communication can conclude on a similair thought i see that as something.
Well, I do agree that it is fascinating that various native groups had religious beliefs (though most of the very ancient ones were more animistic) but societies like the Mayans and Aztecs did at some point migrate to the Americas, becoming separate from other societies. They probably brought religious traditions with them and these evolved/changed over time.
Well we must have got it right. We are very proud of our kids they have grown into fine adults, and the ones that have children are bringing them up well too.
My grandson who has Asperger's Syndrome, now eight, was coming up to five when my husband had his brain haemorrhage in December 2006. For a few weeks he was on the critical list, and our grandson, who is very intelligent, began to obsess about death. I took him for a walk one day and had a chat with him. I said that some people think you go to heaven when you die, and it is supposed to be a really nice place. I asked him to tell me what his wish list for heaven would be and said maybe it might be like that for him. He seemed visibly relieved and I patted myself on the back for having done a good job. A week or so later my daughter phoned me up. "Thanks a lot Mother!" (I know I am in trouble if they call me 'Mother' instead of Mum!:yes
Apparently she had told the young man off for doing something really dangerous, and explained he could die doing something like that. He replied, "But Granny said, (that phrase usually rings alarm bells!) you go to heaven when you die, and it is really nice so I don't mind dying!" Oh dear!
it's_sam
Freak of Nature
im sorry are you saying that all the people in the world all came from one place originaly and then split up in their own ways with what THEY thought was the one religion? It appears to me they were animistic because that is all God gave them. The land and the animals with it, and they each appeased these spirits "practices" in sperate ways.
Guitar's Cry
Disciple of Pan
I agree, actually. I used to be of the opinion that we need to let children choose, but how if they have no basis?
There'll come a time when they can question and choose, but for a long while it's more practical and productive to have them spend that quality time with the parents. Plus, it gives them something to work from.
No, I didn't say that.
sojourner
Annoyingly Progressive Since 2006
Oh, dear God!! Please! Tell me you're not one of those "women have be silent in church" types, on top of your other theological handicaps?!