Am I English?

Maybe we can solve this problem as to when Homo sapiens sapiens split into an English group. During our Geographical Evolution we went from Northern Africa up through the middle east and across Asia and Europe. We will assume that what today is called England is English. This means that somewhere between Africa and England the human population divided (somehow) and gave rise to the English.

As the English are unique and special, I cannot see how they would become 'their own people' by being separated from other tribes, that would make them no more unique than others, so I will put a possible scenario that I think could possibly have happened, and wish for the English and others of knowledge to confirm or deny this possibility.

I was thinking that perhaps some of the children born in these Homo sapiens sapiens tribes were born English, perhaps they had a unique marking on their forehead like Harry Potter or some other trait that could be distinguished as unique and special. Then these children knew, somehow, that they where above/superior/different from the other humans and started to look for others like them. Women from other tribes also birthed similar children and finally all of them rounded themselves up and became the first English people and then went to England which they knew was made for them (the region, these names did not exist until we made them up) and spawned all the other English of the world.

Could this possibly be how the English came to be? As I have a hard time imagining other scenarios, one would include that a group of people decided to be English but then there is no difference between an Englishman and non-Englishman and anyone can become an Englishman, so why call themselves unique? Why do 'they' have the right to a specific land and so on; it would make no sense.

Thoughts?

Trenchant. Inspired. Brilliant in both conception and execution. Smoke, I simply cannot say enough about the sound and sane idea that the English people have an unique evolutionary trajectory from the rest of us.

Indeed, your thread recalls to me cafe conversations I used to have in collegiate days with my best friend of the time, Hansen. "Hansen," I would say, "The English are quite different from the rest of us. Special, really." In response, Hansen would sometimes remain quiet as a sage; pondering the mystery of the English, no doubt. On other occassions he would utter the most frustrated bark you can imagine. That was the thing about Hansen: He never overcame his genetics to become an Englishman. He was born and remained a dog. I've always taken that as even more proof the English are a breed apart.

I always thought of countries as one gaint clique system, they all grouped themselves together out of neccessity, then after a few generations became hostile towards "outsiders" which did not belong in their clique/country.

so the reason they cant just become English is because of this us and them mentality, developed from the clique way of thinking. I would say it was our uniqueness.

If that makes sense..

No one is different from anybody else, i don't know whether you are having a dig at the English because you have been talking to an arrogant English person. You are only called English, American, African etc because it is the name of the land you was born on.

Humans are a territorial species, so we find the need to define ourselves as us and them.This is a dead giveaway to show we are still above anything scared animals, in need of comfort ansd security, so therefore surround ourselves with our own "tribe".

I am aware this post is done in a satirical manner, but the main reason the first sapiens would have gone to the land that is now called England, is again for territorial and food purposes, as the homo-sapien population grew, the seemingly natural instinct for humans to explore and conquer would have a been a driving force. Now there is no land left, i guess people feel the need to stake claim to "their" land, which in reality belongs to no one.

Another silly thread like the "Jewish" one.

Terrywoodenpic said:

Another silly thread like the "Jewish" one.

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And I'm sure that's all Smoke really meant it to be.

Wouldn't you rather be Irish??
Six Nations 2010: England display a chronic lack of intelligence - Telegraph

Smoke said:

Then these children knew, somehow, that they where above/superior/different from the other humans and started to look for others like them.

Click to expand...

Well, for starters, let's just cut out the double talk. As a fellow Englishman (well, a direct lineage, even though my people have relocated to the New World some time ago), I think we do a disservice to the lesser tribes to cloud the issue with words like "different". Let's just stay with "superiour" and leave it at that.

Now that we have settled our place in the strata of things, I think we can move on to the other issues in your post.

Sunstone said:

Trenchant. Inspired. Brilliant in both conception and execution. Smoke, I simply cannot say enough about the sound and sane idea that the English people have an unique evolutionary trajectory from the rest of us.

Indeed, your thread recalls to me cafe conversations I used to have in collegiate days with my best friend of the time, Hansen. "Hansen," I would say, "The English are quite different from the rest of us. Special, really." In response, Hansen would sometimes remain quiet as a sage; pondering the mystery of the English, no doubt. On other occassions he would utter the most frustrated bark you can imagine. That was the thing about Hansen: He never overcame his genetics to become an Englishman. He was born and remained a dog. I've always taken that as even more proof the English are a breed apart.

Click to expand...

I have to ask you, Sunstone - on those warm summer evenings, when you and your sub-English friends are sitting on the back porch, do the lot of you discuss trying to interbreed with our women? You know, as a way of trying to climb into the upper crust, over several generations?

Smoke said:

Maybe we can solve this problem as to when Homo sapiens sapiens split into an English group. During our Geographical Evolution we went from Northern Africa up through the middle east and across Asia and Europe. We will assume that what today is called England is English. This means that somewhere between Africa and England the human population divided (somehow) and gave rise to the English.

As the English are unique and special, I cannot see how they would become 'their own people' by being separated from other tribes, that would make them no more unique than others, so I will put a possible scenario that I think could possibly have happened, and wish for the English and others of knowledge to confirm or deny this possibility.

I was thinking that perhaps some of the children born in these Homo sapiens sapiens tribes were born English, perhaps they had a unique marking on their forehead like Harry Potter or some other trait that could be distinguished as unique and special. Then these children knew, somehow, that they where above/superior/different from the other humans and started to look for others like them. Women from other tribes also birthed similar children and finally all of them rounded themselves up and became the first English people and then went to England which they knew was made for them (the region, these names did not exist until we made them up) and spawned all the other English of the world.

Could this possibly be how the English came to be? As I have a hard time imagining other scenarios, one would include that a group of people decided to be English but then there is no difference between an Englishman and non-Englishman and anyone can become an Englishman, so why call themselves unique? Why do 'they' have the right to a specific land and so on; it would make no sense.

Thoughts?

Click to expand...

It all depends on what you mean by English. If you are talking about the people that England was names after, they were the Angles who invaded what was then part of Brittany inhabited by British people. The Saxons and Jutes invaded at the same time so the Angles only ended up with Mercia which ws located in middle England. Supposedly they are related to the Scandinavians and the Kings of Kent through their ancester Wodin. Historians trace their roots back to a Celtic community in Austria that had been in existence since 2400 BC. The Bristish also spoke a dialect of Celtic. The last two groups to invade Ireland also spoke a dialect of Celtic. Most historian link Celtic to Indo-European languges and beleive that all of the people migrated from the Caucasus Mountains in Russia. Norse myth also places the people in that area as their version of the Garden of Eden but with a twist suggest that they are descended from gods who came from other planets. Norse myth places Adam and Eve as creations from earth by the gods.

I don't agree with the so called migration of genetic markers. There is no proof that it really occurred.

It would not surprise me if blonde, light skinned people were alien to this world but that does not necessarily equate to superiority.

Geoffrey: Now look here. You barge in here, quite uninvited, break
glasses and then announce quite casually that we're all dead.
Well I would remind you that you are a guest in this house
and...


Grim Reaper: Be quiet! You Englishmen... You're all so f-ing
pompous and none of you have got any balls.

Monty Python's The Meaning of Life


:run:

What about the Enger-lish :sarcastic

monta said:

What about the Enger-lish :sarcastic

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the fat slags!

I always like buster gonad and his unfeasibly large testicles...

I remeber when Viz was just a college rag....

we managed to get a hold of a few copies, back in the day

Maybe it all started with people with crooked teeth and a liking for Benny Hill getting banished to the same island?

Smoke said:

I was thinking that perhaps some of the children born in these Homo sapiens sapiens tribes were born English, perhaps they had a unique marking on their forehead like Harry Potter or some other trait that could be distinguished as unique and special. Then these children knew, somehow, that they where above/superior/different from the other humans and started to look for others like them. Women from other tribes also birthed similar children and finally all of them rounded themselves up and became the first English people and then went to England which they knew was made for them (the region, these names did not exist until we made them up) and spawned all the other English of the world.

Could this possibly be how the English came to be?

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Yes, that's a fairly accurate (if superficial) assessment of it.

You forgot to mention that the God of England and the Commonwealth (but not the States as they forsook the true God to follow a heathen idol) led our ancestors to the Sacred Isles through his Prophet, Arthur Pendragon.

Smoke said:

Maybe it all started with people with crooked teeth and a liking for Benny Hill getting banished to the same island?

Click to expand...

I've never understood the crooked teeth stereotype, when I meet Americans they usually have worse teeth than mine or my friends. But then I suppose we do have the NHS to subsidise us.

stephenw said:

Wouldn't you rather be Irish??
Six Nations 2010: England display a chronic lack of intelligence - Telegraph

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You will be missed at the world Cup in South Africa

I have studied, a bit not extensively, the division and growth of the human species for a book I was writing, something interesting kept popping up: Neanderthals. Many distinct characteristics of a race could be traced to Neanderthal ancestors, such as red-hair.
Also, it has been traced that the gene responsible for blue eyes came out around where modern day Denmark is.
Just my tid-bit. I think many European traits come from Neanderthals breeding with homo sapeins.

Baydwin said:

Smoke said:

Maybe it all started with people with crooked teeth and a liking for Benny Hill getting banished to the same island?

Click to expand...

I've never understood the crooked teeth stereotype, when I meet Americans they usually have worse teeth than mine or my friends. But then I suppose we do have the NHS to subsidise us.

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Ack! Misattribution! I didn't say that; atotalstranger did.

However, that is the stereotype. Americans are fat and the British have bad teeth. How come there's no unattractive stereotype for Canucks and Ozzies?

This whole issue is as simple as could be: obviously, at some point in human pre-history there was a migratorial division between people who liked coffee and people who preferred tea.

The tea drinkers, homo-leafophilus, in their search for shade and crumpets, migrated north-westerly in neolithic Europe. The coffee drinkers, homo-caffeinatious, unable to stay still for any amount of time, settled over a much wider geographical area.

This is why to this day tea drinkers are to be found in the UK, whereas normal people are found everywhere else.

tumbleweed41 said:

Geoffrey: Now look here. You barge in here, quite uninvited, break
glasses and then announce quite casually that we're all dead.
Well I would remind you that you are a guest in this house
and...


Grim Reaper: Be quiet! You Englishmen... You're all so f-ing
pompous and none of you have got any balls.

Monty Python's The Meaning of Life


:run:

Click to expand...

Bunch of racists eh? ignorant too! what would americans be without the englsh collonising the americas? Balls!!! you had to wait untill the english were to stretched before yous got the balls to betray them!! Is that not cowardice?

Muffled got the idea. Like everybody else, where are we from? from the bowls of the same earth, thats where. Im English but I recognise that I am probably a good mix of celt, scandinavian, Roman, maybe even Jewish and a bit of anyother invaders in the history of the british isles. But I am not pompous arrogant about where I am from and to be honest I cant deny feeling a little ashamed of the English past but where would I be without it?