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There is a fine line between love and hate

whereismynotecard

whereismynotecard

Treasure Hunter
Sometimes, love and hate can be very close to the same thing, and at times you might hate someone, but love them at the same time. Both love and hate are very strong emotions. In order to really hate someone, you've got to put a lot of emotions into that feeling. It's the same way with love. Usually, you cannot really hate or love someone if you don't know them pretty well. I think this is why love and hate are so similar. Sometimes hate seems very far from love though. I guess it depends on why you hate the person.

For instance. I hate the guy who live across the road from me more than I hate anyone in the world. He is gross. He drowns cats. He tries to get people to wreck into his car on purpose for insurance money. I hate him, and there is nothing about him that is good. The line between love and hate on this one is very thick.

But what about people who annoy the hell out of you, but don't actually kill your pets or put lives at risk for insurance money? Let's say there's a guy who says stupid things all the time, and is a racist, and is always verbally mean to you, but he's in your life and there's no getting rid of him. You talk to him all the time, and argue with him all the time, and you think you hate him, but without him, you'd sort of miss the familiarity of the arguments... Sometimes you even have pleasant conversations with him, but there is always that underlying hostility, and you are just waiting for him to say something mean or offensive.

I think that's a love-hate relationship. You don't know if you hate them or love them, because hate and love are so close to the same emotion. Maybe there is love, hate, and love-hate. Sometimes you love someone 100%; sometimes you hate someone 100%, and sometimes you love someone 50% and you hate them 50%. I dunno...

What do you think?

:danana:
 
Madhuri

Madhuri

RF Goddess
Staff member
Premium Member
Love and hate are kind of different extremes of the same...Thing. I think that hate can often represent a feeling caused by threat to that which you love. Hate is caused by a kind of love. It is not exactly opposite of love because love is caring. When we do not care, we are indifferent. But caring can insinuate both love and hate. I guess, to conclude for now, hate is the feeling brought about when that which we love is threatened.

I'm always developing on this idea so any additional thoughts could render the above as lacking.
 
whereismynotecard

whereismynotecard

Treasure Hunter
It's very complicated. I was thinking about how I don't like my grandma, but I wouldn't ever tell her. But when my sister or someone I really like makes me angry, I can easy call them a ***** and tell them that I am angry with them. I think in order to be really honest, even brutally honest with people, I've got to respect them to a certain degree. My grandma is such a self-centered *****, and I hate her so much, but I pretend not to. I don't think I respect her enough to take the effort to tell her how unreasonable she is being. My older sister is a ***** sometimes too, but I love her, so I can tell her she's being a *****.

I guess it's easier to say mean things to people you like, or maybe just to people you know well enough.
 
Madhuri

Madhuri

RF Goddess
Staff member
Premium Member
whereismynotecard said:
It's very complicated. I was thinking about how I don't like my grandma, but I wouldn't ever tell her. But when my sister or someone I really like makes me angry, I can easy call them a ***** and tell them that I am angry with them. I think in order to be really honest, even brutally honest with people, I've got to respect them to a certain degree. My grandma is such a self-centered *****, and I hate her so much, but I pretend not to. I don't think I respect her enough to take the effort to tell her how unreasonable she is being. My older sister is a ***** sometimes too, but I love her, so I can tell her she's being a *****.

I guess it's easier to say mean things to people you like, or maybe just to people you know well enough.
Click to expand...

I can relate to this. I have a grandfather who isn't a very nice person and I have little respect for his behaviour. I feel the same way.
But swearing at close relatives might have something more to do with level of familiarity and the history you've shared. It's also socially accepted that siblings squable but reacting badly to an elder is always looked upon ather harshly.

But one truth holds: you can hate somebody that you love; they are not opposing phenomenons and I think that hate would not exist without love.
 
monta

monta

.
I don't think there is a link between love and hate at all, I do think revulsion and attraction live in very similar areas of the brain, and can engender very similiar physiological reactions and can get confused in some people.
 
Ozzie

Ozzie

Well-Known Member
whereismynotecard said:
Sometimes, love and hate can be very close to the same thing, and at times you might hate someone, but love them at the same time. Both love and hate are very strong emotions. In order to really hate someone, you've got to put a lot of emotions into that feeling. It's the same way with love. Usually, you cannot really hate or love someone if you don't know them pretty well. I think this is why love and hate are so similar. Sometimes hate seems very far from love though. I guess it depends on why you hate the person.

For instance. I hate the guy who live across the road from me more than I hate anyone in the world. He is gross. He drowns cats. He tries to get people to wreck into his car on purpose for insurance money. I hate him, and there is nothing about him that is good. The line between love and hate on this one is very thick.

But what about people who annoy the hell out of you, but don't actually kill your pets or put lives at risk for insurance money? Let's say there's a guy who says stupid things all the time, and is a racist, and is always verbally mean to you, but he's in your life and there's no getting rid of him. You talk to him all the time, and argue with him all the time, and you think you hate him, but without him, you'd sort of miss the familiarity of the arguments... Sometimes you even have pleasant conversations with him, but there is always that underlying hostility, and you are just waiting for him to say something mean or offensive.

I think that's a love-hate relationship. You don't know if you hate them or love them, because hate and love are so close to the same emotion. Maybe there is love, hate, and love-hate. Sometimes you love someone 100%; sometimes you hate someone 100%, and sometimes you love someone 50% and you hate them 50%. I dunno...

What do you think?

:danana:
Click to expand...
A benign Buddhist response is that both are attachment and so lead to misery. On the other hand, your reaction to someone you hate might lead to a lump on their head, whereas reaction to someone you love might lead to a lump somewhere else.
 
MissAlice

MissAlice

Well-Known Member
I think they're both entertwined.

Most of the people I love are the ones whom I might express a hatred toward or dissapproval although I'm trying to learn my boundaries by getting some help in anger management.

Anyway I think love is more subjective than hate. Love is a feeling that combines and extends you to people. Your feelings of them maybe mutual, deep, lustful, etc. I notice that the people I love the most are the ones whom I feel closest to which means I feel comfortable enough to express a certain distaste or opposing view from them. This doesn't mean I disrespect their views but it does mean I'm comfortable enough to know that they won't leave or break up our friendship just because of our opposing differences.
 
tomspug

tomspug

Absorbant
If you don't have a relationship with someone, you neither love nor hate them. Does that mean that love and hate are similar? Not really, in my opinion. Having feelings is a product of getting to know someone. Aside from love and hate both being feelings, they are almost entirely different.

If you are angry at someone you love, you feel conflicted. If you are angry at someone you hate, you feel justified. Anger =/= hate. If you have racist hatred, so are nowhere near the line of loving someone of a different race.
 
Sunstone

Sunstone

De Diablo Del Fora
Premium Member
Love is not the opposite of hate. That's a myth. The opposite of love is the absence of love, which is not necessarily hate.
 
Madhuri

Madhuri

RF Goddess
Staff member
Premium Member
methylatedghosts said:
Because while fear holds close, Love holds dear
While fear hoards all one has, Love gives all away
While fear is jealous, Love is understanding.
Because fear does not trust, Love does.
Because love is fearless.
Click to expand...

That made me smile :)
And I can see how that makes sense. However, I do not see it as the opposite of love but rather an obstical, I suppose. I strongly feel that complete indifference is the opposite f love. Because love is caring and indifference is not caring. Fear is associated with caring, even if it is only care of one's self.
 
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