LDS: Opinions on bishops advice

This topic has come up at MADB and I wanted to know the opinions LDS members here on the issue. Do you agree with a Bishop telling young men who are preparing to go on a mission to break up with their current girlfriends?

Hmmm. I would agree with it. Nothing is worse than being Dear John'd while X amount of miles away from home (I don't speak from experience)

The majority of girls do not wait anyway...so it's just a matter of time.

I realize I'm not LDS, but I wonder if I could interject a thought? Would your bishop offer the same advise if the young man/woman was entering military service with a very good chance of being in a combat zone ater the initial twenty-four weeks of basic and advanced training?

Just a thought I had. Please feel free to ignore my question, but please don't abuse me for asking it it. Thanks.

Edward

edward said:

I realize I'm not LDS, but I wonder if I could interject a thought? Would your bishop offer the same advise if the young man/woman was entering military service with a very good chance of being in a combat zone ater the initial twenty-four weeks of basic and advanced training?

Just a thought I had. Please feel free to ignore my question, but please don't abuse me for asking it it. Thanks.

Edward

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No, he most likely would not.

Apex said:

This topic has come up at MADB and I wanted to know the opinions LDS members here on the issue. Do you agree with a Bishop telling young men who are preparing to go on a mission to break up with their current girlfriends?

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In a word, no. I don't think anything would be accomplished by breaking up. If they're truly in love, it would be doing a disservice to both of them. If he's going to be distracted by thoughts of a girl, it might as well be thoughts of the life they're going to have together as thoughts over what might have been if he'd just stayed home from his mission.

I suppose that there may be exceptions to this rule of thumb, but I don't think that, as a general practice, it's a good idea.

edward said:

I realize I'm not LDS, but I wonder if I could interject a thought? Would your bishop offer the same advise if the young man/woman was entering military service with a very good chance of being in a combat zone ater the initial twenty-four weeks of basic and advanced training?

Just a thought I had. Please feel free to ignore my question, but please don't abuse me for asking it it. Thanks.

Edward

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He probably wouldn't, Edward, but the difference is that Mormon missionaries can't even phone their girlfriends for the two year period of their missions. Servicemen can.

So the short answer is yes, now I'm going to delete all that stuff I just wrote.

Missionaries should break up with their girlfriends before going on missions. The missionary handbook rules say no writing to anyone but family members anyway, so what's the point of having a girlfriend if you can't write to her.

It's ridiculous and I can testify that nothing will happen on any young man's mission until they obey all the missionary handbook rules, I know I was one of those missionaries who was writing girls (plural) and nothing seemed to be happening for me until I broke up with them on my mission, then the baptisms started happening one right after the other, it was like NIGHT and DAY.

Doctrine and Covenants 18: 15-16
15 And if it so be that you should labor all your days in crying repentance unto this people, and bring, save it be one soul unto me,how great shall be your joy with him in the kingdom of my Father!
16 And now, if your joy will be great with one soul that you have brought unto me into the kingdom of my Father, how great will be your joy if you should bring many souls unto me!

FFH said:

The missionary handbook rules say no writing to anyone but family members anyway

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Odd...that rule wasn't in mine. It just said to not spend all of your P-Day time writing letters. Granted, when the e-mail system started up that was limited to family, but it's not like anyone ever followed that guideline.

Well, I know mission rules change all the time. My husband got off his mission in about 1964. He served in Mexico. Well, he had relatives down there that he'd never met and wanted to go visit, so he asked his mission president if it was okay for him not to go straight home but to spend a couple of months traveling around. The mission president said sure, so he did. He wasn't with a companion or anything. He just went off by himself.

That rule wasn't in my white book either.

Mormon Defender said:

How could you not agree with a bishop!!Re-Read the book of mormon!

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Uh... Where does it address this topic in the Book of Mormon?

Apex said:

This topic has come up at MADB and I wanted to know the opinions LDS members here on the issue. Do you agree with a Bishop telling young men who are preparing to go on a mission to break up with their current girlfriends?

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I don't agree

Pa Pa said:

I don't agree

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Do you want to elaborate?

Number one: Bishops are not infallible. This is not a doctrine of the Church. It isn't in the Book of Mormon any more than Papal Infallibility is in the Bible. Disagreeing with a bishop will not send you to Hell. Prayer is always required to verify what your bishop is advising.

Number two: every situation is different. The bishop himself ought to know and understand the young man he is interviewing before he gives any advice on this matter. Is the girlfriend going to be a distraction? In many cases, there is no distraction at all. That is dependent on the dedication of the missionary. In many other cases, distractions are very apparent. Secondly, will the girl really wait? I mean REALLY wait. Most say the will, but many don't. My mom waited for my dad. Many of my friends have sent Dear Johns after becoming impatient. Two years is a long time. Are they really willing to wait that long?

These are all questions that need to be asked and considered, especially between the couple. There is no black and white answer.

Arkholt said:

Number one: Bishops are not infallible. This is not a doctrine of the Church. It isn't in the Book of Mormon any more than Papal Infallibility is in the Bible. Disagreeing with a bishop will not send you to Hell. Prayer is always required to verify what your bishop is advising.

Number two: every situation is different. The bishop himself ought to know and understand the young man he is interviewing before he gives any advice on this matter. Is the girlfriend going to be a distraction? In many cases, there is no distraction at all. That is dependent on the dedication of the missionary. In many other cases, distractions are very apparent. Secondly, will the girl really wait? I mean REALLY wait. Most say the will, but many don't. My mom waited for my dad. Many of my friends have sent Dear Johns after becoming impatient. Two years is a long time. Are they really willing to wait that long?

These are all questions that need to be asked and considered, especially between the couple. There is no black and white answer.

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Welcome, Arkholt! Good answer!

IF I was the one giving the advice, I'd say break-up with the girlfriend then let the person govern themself.

I probably don't agree, but that doesn't mean it isn't inspired. I'm willing to bet that God would bless someone for obeying the advice though, even if it didn't make sense. Someone I know was in love with a girl while on his mission. He wrote to her all the time and she wrote back. His mission president made a rule that no one could write their girlfriend/boyfriend back home or talk to them on mothers' day or Christmas. Without knowing why his president made such a ridiculous rule, he obeyed anyway. Three weeks later, the mission president interviewed him. He asked if he had obeyed the instruction. After answering that he had, the mission president told him to go ahead and write her again. They are now happily married. My point is, you can't always see how things will work out. Sometimes things that seem stupid are actually inspired. Of course, bishops can give you bad counsel. I personally wouldn't presume to tell someone to break up. Of course, I'm not a bishop, it's not my stewardship. A bishop is entitled to revelation. He could very well be inspired. My advice to someone given that counsel, follow it. God will bless you for it.

There is a time and place for everything i do not agree with the bishop to tell some one that i have a few comps who drew strangth from there girl friend and one of which i know just got married to that waited. but i do think in some cases that may be worented if the Bishope feels that it could be a problem i know that is the case more often than not. if i was a Bishop i would want to know if the girl or guy will bring that person back and end the mission for the person. i think it could go ether way. like i said there is a time and place for everything.

I would hope that the Bishop would not put it in terms of "breaking up." I think that a wise and inspired Bishop would simply reiterate the reality as spelled out in the manual and perhaps, advise the missionary that he or she is going to have to put the relationship "on hold" until after the mission is completed ...