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How far do we go on forgiveness?

Although we may think that we are righteous, in reality none of us are truly righteous (Roman 3:23), because, deep in our heart we harbor hate, anger, jealousy and pride. This becomes very evident when someone hurts us or our interests are interfered with. When we are hurt or insulted, we feel that we have lost something or that something has been taken away from us. We then feel that if we take revenge we can get even with out offender. We generally call revenge with various righteous sounding terms such as restitution, justice and punishment. We tend to overlook the fact that everything in this World is inconsequential, because, they are not permanent; and that our only true treasure, which never gets destroyed, is God’s love for us. While it is true that everyone must face the consequences of their wrongful acts, we must keep in mind that when we decide to punish someone for their wrongful act, we must make sure we are without sin. We must keep in mind the story of the woman caught in the act adultery. When the people were about to stone her to death (John 8:1-11), Jesus told them that, the one without sin should cast the first stone. They all left, because, they were all sinners, just like the women. Jesus was without sin, but He did not stone her either, because, His mission was to heal our souls and not to judge us. In fact, He freed us from our sins by taking the punishment of the sins of all human beings, by dying on the cross (Matt. 26:28). He is the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the World. He therefore, fulfills the requirement of the law, which is to pay the price for our offenses. The following are some of the important aspects of His forgiveness. He compensated for our sins that we committed against Him by sacrificing His own life. In other words, the victim compensated for the sins of His offenders. This is a very important fact, because, this is true forgiveness. If we have to accept His forgiveness, we must believe in it by doing like wise. In other words, we must not only write-off what our offenders owe us, but also put our lives on the line in the process of helping them to recover from their sinful ways. When we sin against God, we sin against an infinitely merciful God. Our sins against Him therefore, are infinitely grave. On the other hand, when one human being sins against another human being he/she is sinning against a finite being. Therefore, our sins against God are much more grave than any one else’s sin against us. Since God has forgiven us of all our grave offenses we have committed against Him, we must forgive our fellow human beings of their offenses. This reason is illustrated in the story of the unforgiving servant (Matt. 18:21-34) whose master out of compassion and mercy forgave him of a very large sum of money that he owed the master. He in turn however, did not forgive his fellow worker of a much smaller sum. This of course did not go well with the master who then severely punished the servant for not being forgiving towards his fellow worker. The forgiveness of God is also seen in the parable of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32). Here, although the son had rejected His father and went on to live a wasteful life, his father was filled with joy when he saw him return home. He forgave all his offenses, healed his spirit and brought him back into his household. God too is happy when we accept His forgiveness and healing, and return to Him. God is not concerned about Himself when we offend Him. Rather, He is concerned about the hurt we cause ourselves when we offend and disobey Him. When Jesus was carrying His cross on the way to Calvary and met the women of Jerusalem who were weeping for Him, He was more concerned about the suffering that was going to come upon them, rather than the suffering He was going through (Luke 23:28).

Forgiveness is the very heart of Christianity, because, Christianity has to do with redemption and redemption has to do with forgiveness. The whole redemption history revolves around God’s forgiveness. It consists of God redeeming us from sin, by compensating for our sins by His sacrifice. Furthermore, it consists of healing, where God gives us His sacrificial body and blood as real food (John 6:55), so that we may eat it, and be healed (John 6:33). It also consists of union with God (John 6:56) by us receiving His flesh and blood and by us being part of His body, His Church. Forgiveness also has to do with, returning home, to God’s home and to accepting God’s Fatherhood over us. By His sacrificial act Jesus brings us into the household of God. Forgiveness, therefore, is an act of compassion, mercy and true love. God offers us forgiveness, which we receive through baptism. It is up to us to accept it or refuse it. We can accept it by making His forgiveness our way of life. If we reject it we are rejecting God’s forgiveness. This leads to eternal death.

The scriptures are very clear about forgiveness and mercy. In James 2:13 we are told that mercy is above law. In Matt. 6:14-15 we are told that we would not be forgiven if we do not forgive others. In the Lord’s Prayer (Luke 6:12) we ask God to forgive us the way we forgive others. In Luke 17:4 Jesus tells us that we must forgive others repeatedly. In Luke 6:27-36 Jesus tells us to love our enemy, pray for them, do good for them, if someone takes our coat, give them our shirt as well, offer the other cheek if someone slaps us on one, lend and do not expect it back and be merciful like our heavenly Father. In Romans 12: 17-21 Paul tells us to not pay evil with evil, never take revenge, feed our enemy, not allow evil to defeat us and to over come evil with good. He further tells us in 1Cor. 6:7 that a legal dispute is a sign of our complete failure; and that it is better to be wronged or robbed than to wrong others or rob them.
 

Ori

Angel slayer
To be honest I think all can be forgiven, but whether it should be is up to people who have been hurt.
 

fromthe heart

Well-Known Member
My personal feeling is to forgive all any wrong doing no matter if I'm devastated by someone. HOWEVER...I don't have to be subjected to what or who hurt me or did me wrong beyond that point...I don't harbor grudges either. Once I've forgiven I go my own way and don't look back...it's healthier that way.:) It's just a matter of subject in all of it. I will always forgive!!! bottom line.
 

EnhancedSpirit

High Priestess
How far do we go on forgiveness?
All the way, baby!



Matthew 18:15 "If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him - work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you've made a friend. 16 If he won't listen, take one or two others along so that the presence of witnesses will keep things honest, and try again. 17 If he still won't listen, tell the church. If he won't listen to the church, you'll have to start over from scratch, confront him with the need for repentance, and offer again God's forgiving love. 18 "Take this most seriously: A yes on earth is yes in heaven; a no on earth is no in heaven. What you say to one another is eternal. I mean this. 19 When two of you get together on anything at all on earth and make a prayer of it, my Father in heaven goes into action. 20 And when two or three of you are together because of me, you can be sure that I'll be there." 21 At that point Peter got up the nerve to ask, "Master, how many times do I forgive a brother or sister who hurts me? Seven?" 22 Jesus replied, "Seven! Hardly. Try seventy times seven.



"forgive" is found in the bible 654 times



We avoid Forgiveness because we have the mistaken idea that forgiveness means we condone or agree with the actions of others! Forgiveness does not mean letting others abuse you. Forgiveness does not require that you extend trust. This kind of forgiveness is not dependent on the other person changing.
excerpt from EnhancedSpirit's website said:
Forgiving someone involves two parties - the injured and the perpetrator.
1) Circumstances may be such that the injury was an accident and the perpetrator is horrified and asks what they can do to make amends. In this case the path to forgiveness is already paved with possibilities, and the injured has but to specify what is required to make amends and the two parties will begin to heal each other.
2) Circumstances may be such that the injury was an accident but the perpetrator in denial. “Nothing happened, and even if it did -it wasn't their fault.” In this case forgiving the injury must take place on separate paths.
3) Circumstances may also be such that the injury was deliberate, but was a result of a disagreement, a fight, and fault lies all around. One was pushed beyond his limits and lashed out. In these cases forgiveness usually progresses rapidly, as both parties are clearly cognizant of the underlying currents and the shared responsibility for what has happened.
4) Forgiveness is most difficult where the injury is deliberate and no fault lies with the injured - a true victim, an innocent. The perpetrator has savaged the injured for sport, for a power trip, or to simply gratify themselves. In these cases forgiveness seems inappropriate. Forgiving someone even though they don’t ask for it or accept responsibility is very important. Otherwise we hold resentment towards that person or circumstance.
Forgiveness is:
---It is letting go of any expectation that the other person will change.
---It is letting go of any expectation of apology, or of recognition and acknowledgement of wrong-doing.
---It is acknowledging to yourself that the other person acted in the only way that this person could act.
 

michel

Administrator Emeritus
Staff member
This is a very apt one for me to grapple with. I say the Lord's payer daily - even though I do not consider myself to be a 'proper Christian'. Whenever I get to the forgive us our trespases, as we forgive those that trespass against us, I always believe, think "But no one has trespassed against me", although I am always quick to see my own 'trespasses' against others.

Thinking about it, I have been involved in two 'disputes' today - but I consider myself guilty rather than the other parties. It is actually a 'legacy' from my youth, when I was always treated as being the one in the wrong. Even if someone causes me harm, I somehow see it as 'my own fault' - I don't really understand why, but I am like that. So I can honestly say that I do not bear grudges against people - Buddhism-based thought has eliminated that in me. But I seem to go around with a guilt complex weighing heavily around my neck!!:eek:
 

EnhancedSpirit

High Priestess
michel said:
This is a very apt one for me to grapple with. I say the Lord's payer daily - even though I do not consider myself to be a 'proper Christian'. Whenever I get to the forgive us our trespases, as we forgive those that trespass against us, I always believe, think "But no one has trespassed against me", although I am always quick to see my own 'trespasses' against others.

Thinking about it, I have been involved in two 'disputes' today - but I consider myself guilty rather than the other parties. It is actually a 'legacy' from my youth, when I was always treated as being the one in the wrong. Even if someone causes me harm, I somehow see it as 'my own fault' - I don't really understand why, but I am like that. So I can honestly say that I do not bear grudges against people - Buddhism-based thought has eliminated that in me. But I seem to go around with a guilt complex weighing heavily around my neck!!:eek:
This is a very hard part of forgiveness. Forgiveness of yourself. I am a mom, and was the oldest child in my family, I too, often take the blame. Even taking blame for my husband leaving me for someone else. We are the other extreme, opposite of the accuser. Insteading of placing blame on others, we blame ourselves for EVERYTHING. Which is mostly true. We create our own realities. But we are also affected by the free will of all those around us. It is so complicated to think about. But, what I wanted to say is that forgiving ourselves is often much harder than forgiving others. But guilt is one of the big 'no-no's'. So we must learn to forgive ourselves, always. And Jesus is the constant reminder that we are forgiven.
 
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