I was very excited at the thought of my first Holy Communion. I had been taught many things by the good teachers, Priests, and Nuns. As I went up to receive for the first time and knelt at the alter, I was so afraid that I might do something wrong, so I looked to my right to be sure I would do exactly what all the other children were doing. Then came my time, the priest said, " The body of Christ" to which I replied, " Amen" I got up and walked back to my pew and waited for something wonderful to happen. It did not come. I was happy, but I was expecting more, based upon what I had been taught. I started to feel that perhaps I had done something wrong and Jesus wasn't going to give me this special gift. For many months after this day, I was still expecting something awesome to happen to me tangibly. When it didn't come, I just thought, " Oh well, maybe this is all there is to it." "Jesus is there but maybe we just don't really feel Him."
About maybe seven or so years ago I went to noon time mass, as I had become a daily communicant. This day and time in my life was no different than any other. As I went up to receive communion and came before the priest, he raised up the Holy Eucharist and said in a most loving way, " The body of Christ" At that instant the priest was now about five to seven feet off in my periferal vision, to my left side with arm extended to me as if still offering Jesus to me. But in the view directly in front of me the little "wafer" was now as big as my face! His whole being was all I could see. It was as if time had stopped and reconfigured itself. I find it difficult to explain it exactly, for it happened in an instant but time seemed endless. All I could see was this gigantic Eucharist before my eyes and I was mesmerised, totally taken in by this awesome sight. Finally I breathed out the word,
" Amen " and as soon as I had said it, the Holy Eucharist suddenly became it's proper size, the priest was now right in front of me as he had been and he gave me Jesus in Holy communion. I could hardly stand it. I practically floated back to the pew. When I left Church I was smiling with a joy that filled me to bursting.! I wanted to run and tell everybody, Jesus is alive, He is here with us!!!!!!! For days I thought I was going to lose my mind. I kept asking why, why me, what do you want of me Lord? Finally I came to the conclusion that this vision was telling me to keep my focus totally on Jesus, nothing else. Perhaps that is why He became so big before my eyes, to say, only focus upon me and I will lead you, you have no need of anything else but me. I love Him so very much. I know that there are those of you who even though catholic may not believe my experience ,for you might say, " Well why hasn't He revealed Himself to me?" " Why you?" Frankly my beloved brothers and sisters, I have asked the very same question and I have prayed that He in His great love would reveal Himself in the very same way or perhaps even a more glorious way to you all. You never know my loves, he might do just that very thing for you tomorrow or the next day. This was totally out of the blue for me, I had not asked for it, He just gave it to me. I will never deny that this happened. I share it because I guess I want to tell everyone that He is real, He is very much alive, and He loves you madly with a love that overcomes every misery, every hurt, every pain and trouble. I often wish I could take a lie detector test so that those who doubt my word but believe in mechanical proofs would then come to believe that what I have told you is real. I would gladly submit to any test to bring you closer to the One who loves us with an unconditional love. In the long run I guess it is up to each of us to have faith until the time the Lord reveals Himself to us whether in this life, or the bliss of the life after our death. I give you my solemn promise He loves you and forgives you everything. He created you out of love and He will not forsake you, ever.
I have often thought about the fact that Jesus was actually here on earth and He tried to show the truth to everyone, with signs, wonders and miracles, and still there were those who didn't believe even Him. Why should anyone believe me? It doesn't matter if you don't believe me, just believe Him. He loves you madly. Give Him a chance in your life. Truly rely on Him and He won't dissappiont you, I promise. Follow His teachings of love, compassion, and understanding. Give of yourself in every way, no matter if anybody notices or not. Just keep giving and He will show you His love. Give of your time for others, give of your talents and give of your treasures, the first fruits going to God. You will be so delighted to see how He will work with you when you surrender your love to Him. These are not idle words, I mean truly surrender your all to Him. I am not saying to test the Lord your God, I am saying to invite Him into your life just a little at a time and I promise you He will reveal Himself to you in some way. You will begin to see how He works. I would love to hear of other stories of how God has touched your lives. Don't be afraid, share your love of Him and how He in turn has helped and strengthened you.
Joyfully in Jesus,
Martha
