I don't know if your questions were just meant to be rhetorical, but I thought they might make some interesting discussion
Yes, I intended them as genuine questions -- although I'm certainly leaving how someone wants to interpret the donkey question up to the reader.
I wouldn't say it would be moral to press Jeff for sex, while she would certainly have the ability to. But, I also think it would be wrong (read: immoral) of her to do that; it is inconsiderate towards Jeff and, perhaps, treats him as a means to an end and not as an end in himself. It shows no respect for his feelings and such behavior lacks a certain amount of intimacy. Get what I mean? If you pressure someone for sex that isn't ready, aren't you in a sense, using them? Or at least not acknowledging their unique humaness?
I think we're in complete agreement here, Alyssa. Although, I imagine that many couples would
not be in agreement with us -- at least not in practice. I've heard many stories of people having sex before they were ready to, because their partner wanted sex. And I also think it's common enough practice among sexually active couples to have sex even when one of the partners doesn't want it. Yet, no matter how often it's done, I still agree with you that it i's wrong.
To be sure, I'm not talking about situations in which one partner freely wishes to please the other even though he or she doesn't really feel like having sex. Instead, I'm talking about situations in which one partner feels pressured to have sex when they don't want to. That seems wrong.
And I would say yes. If he knows he's not ready for it and is uncomfortable with it, being pressured into it will only be harmful for him and could put a strain in his relationship or affect how he approaches or views sexual intimacy down the line. Being pressured into sex can have a negative effect on the ability to be sexually intimate.
Again, I'm in agreement with you with one caveat -- the negative effects of having sex before you're ready to have sex most certainly vary from person to person. That is, some people take it harder than others. For some it might be traumatic, while for others it's hardly of any importance at all.
In fact, pressuring someone into sex shows a complete disregard for intimacy.
I think that's a brilliant insight.
Oh, I would think it would be an absolute must in any attempt to salvage or maintain a healthy relationship.
In my experience, couples that cannot figure out how to negotiate with each other and reach mutually acceptable compromises are unhappy couples. Of course, it takes a great deal of hard work to do that, but it's certainly worth the work with the right person.
You know, Phil, this might just be the very most important question of them all. They might very well want to consider that option, although those sorts of decisions may end in a different result for different couples. No two relationships are exactly alike, as we know.
Naturally, a sympathetic donkey would be my preferred solution to Suzy's horniness. But, as you point out, other couples might have other ideas of what will work best for them.
I think the key in all of this is for the couple to reach a compromise that both freely consent to.